


Fathers boy

by Sunshine3star



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Brainwashing, Breeding, Domestic Violence, I will deffenitly add more tags as the story goes on, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Dom/sub, Love, Mates, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Violence, alpha omega dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-06-16 05:16:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 64,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshine3star/pseuds/Sunshine3star
Summary: Father is everything.Father is his whole life.Father is all there is for him.His life is with Father, thats his destiny.until one day, its not anymore





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, ever.  
> And English is not my primary language, so there will be errors.  
> Please go gentle with me..
> 
> All feedbacks and comments will be appreciated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit:  
> I have decided to give warnings for each chapter, to make sure everybody knows what to expect.  
> The warnings will be in the chapter notes at the end of each chapter,  
> since the warnings will give you some kind of spoilers.  
> This way, you can decide if you want to read them or not.
> 
> this chapter will contain verbal and physical abuse.

** 1 **

 

The sun is shining on his face, a breeze playing with the trees and some kids are running in the meadow.

He closes his eyes for just one second, thoughts drifting.

The last time he was at the marked, he overheard some kids talking about the little lake in the forest.

Supposedly it was a great place to dive and play in the water

He wonders how that would feel

 

Father's voice is suddenly in his ear, and realty hits.

Hits his arms and legs, all the way in too the house, while he lets the wood he collected fall in the bin where it should be.

Â It hits his back when he feeds the fire, his neck while he stirs the food, and a boot hits him in the stomach, - twice, when he stumbles and fall...

Then the yelling starts.

Father yells and yells while he cleans the floor, kicks him in the butt when he tries to get up, and steps on his head while whispering about how dirty the bathroom is.

That he should clean it every day.

For two weeks.

With a toothbrush

Maybe he would remember his place then?

 

Some hours later, when he puts the toothbrush away, he thinks about what a fool he is.

Enjoying the sun, letting Father wait for his food.

The only thing Father wants, is a clean and tidy house, food on the table when he wants it, and an obeying boy.

Thats not a lot.

As the chief of the village, the pressure on Father is huge, and the respect he commands only what he deserves.

Father is everything for this village.

Without him and the other elders, chaos would rule.

People would steal, kill and rape for fun.

And weak scum like himself would never survive!

So, he knows how lucky he is to have Father.

He curls up in his nest, waiting for the morning and the time to begin with breakfast.

 

The bathroom really looks better after he uses some nights with the toothbrush in there, Father was right as usual.

But still, Father comes home furious, spitting him in the face, calling him an abnormality, a freak, complaining about the food and throwing empty beer bottles at him.

He begins to clean the kitchen with the toothbrush too, maybe Father would calm down then?

When that doesnt help, Father still yelling and fuming every night, he starts to clean the living room every day.

When Father still drinks beers and falls asleep on the couch more nights then not, he gives up.

Father calms down after he gives him some beating, so its not that bad.

 

Late at night, after a bad evening of beating and yelling, he shivers in his nest.

The summer was coming to an end soon, and it was getting colder at night.

He would have to gather more wood, and at the same time try to harvest some berries to make jam and to dry to use as spices through the winter.

Food in the winter is harder, fewer vegetables made the food bland

Father didnt like bland food.

What should he make these last couple of days before the marked?

He would have to be creative to keep it tasty and filling Fathers stomach.

Contemplating what to get at the marked, his eyes closes without his knowledge.

_He is sitting in a field of flowers, the grass tickling his small feet._

_Somewhere behind him someone is singing, and he feels safe._

_A beautiful purple flower is catching his eyes, he tries to reach it, but it's just to far away!_

_Then a shadow looms over him, making him tens up and turn around._

_A woman with a big smile looks down at him, saying a name._

_Is that his name?_

_Her hand comes up, caressing his skin, and he leans in nuzzling it happy..._

_Looking to her face again, her eyes turns cold so cold._

_Her mouth opens, and she yells Â« creep!!!Â»_

He jumps up, looking around, was it Father yelling?

But the house is quiet, so after a few calming breaths he gets up and starts the fire in the oven.

No use in going back to sleep, theres a lot to do today.

Later, when Father comes inn, he serves him coffee and an omelet with toast.

Maybe he can keep Father happy today?

After changing the bedsheets, boiling and hanging the now clean ones outside, he attaches his pouch to his hip, and goes out into the forest.

Looking for suitable wood and berries, he contemplates what to buy at the marked yet again.

They are low on almost everything now, the prices for fresh vegetables had been skyrocketing and Father wants meat every day.

Maybe he could ask Father for some extra money, so he can buy some onion and garlic?

That way he can make Father his favorite stew

Today its chicken soup, the bird had been cooking since this morning to make the broth as good as possible.

Normally he would let the fire die out after Father leaves in the morning, no use in wasting good wood to keep the house warm when Fathers not home.

He runs back and forth between the oven and his other shores, making sure the fire is just the right size to keep the broth boiling without wasting wood.

That evening, Father is quiet and don't look his way ones.

Father is reading some paper he has brought home, drinking his beer with a big fur between his brows.

That scares him for a moment, what is on Father's mind?

Is something bad happening in the village?

No, Father will solve whatever it is.

So, he waits patiently for Father to go to bed, so he can start cleaning the bathroom.

Theres no use in cleaning it before Father goes to bed, it would not be as pristine in the morning then.

Father dosent give him money to go to the marked the next day, or the day after, and finding something in the house to make food of gets difficult.

After the third day of scrambled eggs with nothing more to breakfast, Father finally remembers and gives him some money.

But first, he brings out his belt, to teach him not to let it run so low on groceries.

Five hits for letting Father down, five hits for dirtying the kitchen floor with blood.

 

That night, he forgets the bathroom

 

_he's sitting in a field of flowers, grass tickling his toes, feeling safe._

_The sun is warm, the sky blue, he has a purple flower in his hand and he squills in joy._

_Laughter flows through the air, a woman is dancing around._

_Her hair falls down her back, all the way down to her thighs, her dress is yellow._

_He blinks, and she is right in front of him, kneeling._

_Her eyes smiles, her mouth opens, and she is reacting for his face with her hand._

-Smack!!

His face stings, and he is standing up even before he opens his eyes.

Father yells at him.

« your lazy piece of shit! You think this is a hotel?

That everything magically fixes its self??»

Father pulls his hair hard, making him hit his head in the wall.

« not only did you sleep instead of cleaning the bathroom, you scum. »

Father is still pulling his hair, dragging him in to the kitchen.

« where's my breakfast?

Oh.. yeah...

You bastard, you lazy piece of shit, didn't think I deserved a nice and quiet start to my day.»

 

Finally letting him go, Father continues to yell while he gets the fire going, putts the kettle on, and runs out to the hens for the eggs.

When he comes inn again, Father is standing ready with the belt.

 

« I really think you need a reminder of who's in control her»

He takes of his shirt and leans over the kitchen table.

« after everything I have done for you! »

Three rapid hits cover his lover back.

«youre just lazing around, without a care in the world.»

Father turns the belt around, and his stomach turns...

« you are a shit, a wasted space on this earth, everything would. have. been. better. without. you!!»

Every harsh word is accompanied with a hit.

The buckle tore through the skin, making him nauseous.

Every hit makes blood flying around, and finally Father stops.

« clean up this mess. «

A kick behind the knees make him fall to the floor.

« and since the bathroom wasn't cleaned last night, I think we have to start over.«

The front door slamming shot is the last thing he hears before everything goes black.

 

That night, after using several hours scrubbing every surface in the kitchen, he makes a stew with beef and potatoes.

One of Father's favorites.

While Father eats, he recleans the floor, - twice, before Father is satisfied and goes to bed.

For some reason, the bathroom takes way longer to clean than normally, so he just skips sleep and instead starts with breakfast.

The next few days everything goes slow.

Every task takes way longer to do then normally, it is difficult to remember what he is planning to do, and he even forgets to go to the marked as normal!

But since the marked is there three days a week, he just goes the next day.

People don't care much about him, and only talks to him if he is in the way, or if they want him to buy something from them.

But this day, he feels eyes on him all the time.

He doesnt understand it, don't like it, and hurries to be done as fast as possible.

Its more crowded on thursdays, normally he's her on thuesdays.

Finally, he's done.

Suddenly someone shouts.

« hey! Boy! Stop! »

He keeps on walking, knowing this has nothing to do with him.

« hay! Im calling for you! »

A hand touches his shoulder, and he jerks away.

The stranger starts to say something, but he hurries past him running the rest of the way home.

Something about that stranger makes him uneasy.

 

Father is always angry and tense these days, never satisfied, always yelling and cursing.

But it has been more than a week since he laid hands on him now.

This night that changes.

Out of nowhere, while he is doing the dishes, Father grabs his left arm hard.

« your abnormality, I should never had let you live.»

Fathers spit hits his face, before he forces him down to his knees.

« you are a monster!

You are filthy, scum, this is not normal! »

Father's nostrils are fluttering, his pupils blown and.. he's panting?

« what on earth am I going to do with you!»

Father leans down, sniffing his neck?

Suddenly hits and kicks starts to rain down on him, Father is wild and just continues and continues and continues.

Everything becomes a blur after a while, before it finally stops.

Father soon goes to bed, and he gathers the toothbrush and starts with the bathroom.

This night it takes forever, new bloodstains forcing him to do the same spot repeatedly.

He doesn't remember falling asleep, but the now familiar field of flowers surrounds him ones again.

 

_He is standing in the meadow, no birds are singing, no one is laughing, the sun is hiding behind dark clouds._

_A strange sound makes him turn around, there is a small cabin there and he slowly walks to it._

_He is afraid._

_Why?_

_Closer and closer he gets, the sound comes from inside, he is sure of it._

_But what the sound is, he doesnt know._

_Just that it is scary, wrong, something that should not be there!_

_The front door it heavy, but he manages to open it enough to press inside._

_Someone is lying on the floor, she is making the strange noises._

_Mom?_

_Mommy?_

_He tries to walk to her, but the door suddenly bursts open, a strong hand pushes him aside and he stumbles and falls._

_Just as his head hits the corner of the door the person scream, and then everything goes black._

His hole body shocks awake, tears running down his cheek.

His lungs burn, and he realizes he is holding his breath.

With a loud noise he draws in air, trying to understand.

This dream was so different, why would he dream of his mothers death?

Shaking his head, he decides to start his day.

But something feels odd.

He feels like crying, he never cries!

Huffing he goes to start the fire, cursing himself for not getting more wood in the house last night, and stomping out scaring the hens when he goes to fetch the eggs.

Father looks strange at him this morning too, and when Father almost runs out the door after eating his breakfast, he ends up crying after all.

The rest of the day, he switches between growling at the toothbrush and crying when cutting vegetables, stomping while looking for wood, and jumping like a little kitten from every sound around him.

When Father comes home, his whole body aches, his head hurts and serving Father his food makes his stomach turn dangerously.

Father is even stranger this night, drinking his beer quiet looking like he contemplates something.

Suddenly Father puts his beer down and leaves the house without saying anything.

He cleans the kitchen slowly, everything feels a little fussy.

His stomach cramps and he just barely reaches the bathroom before he empties the little there is in his stomach.

Later, Father comes back and goes straight to bed without even a glans at him.

So, he finishes cleaning the bathroom, before curling up in his nest and closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -WARNING:  
> The next chapter will contain non-con/ rape.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first work ever, and English is not my primary language.
> 
> all feedback and comments will be appreciated

2

_Tiny feets touching soft grass, toes wiggling and fingers trying to reach but not quite reaching._

_He can hear water running and someone singing softly_

_Suddenly it's screaming and people running and loud noises and someone grabs him._

_He's scared._

_He wants his.. mum...?_

_Mummy?_

_Something doesnt feel right._

_The person holding him is running through the meadow, the wind picking up almost breaking the trees in two._

_Then he is falling, hands trying to grab him, but to now wail._

_He is falling and falling and falling._

_He is screaming, is he screaming?_

_Someone is screaming._

 

No, not screaming, yelling.

Father is yelling.

Fare fare away.

He tries to open his eyes, but its hard.

He just wants to sleep.

But Father continues to yell and pulls at him to get him out of the nest.

So, he forces his eyes open, blinking bleary up at Fathers face.

His so hot, but he is shivering, and did he pee in his pants?

The world is spinning, stomach turning and what did Father say again?

Father shakes his head, grabs his arm and just drags him in to the living room.

Then he tells him to get up.

He doesnt yell, he doesnt hit.

Just stands there, with a look of disgust on his face.

hes really out of it already� someone says.

His jumping to his feet so fast he almost stumbles, dozen different feelings running true his body.

That voice.

Flashes from another time, when he got sick with fever and these other things he didnt want to remember.

Fear, shame, confusion, disgust and then fear again.

Frustrated he shakes his head, trying to understand.

Thinking is never this hard!

A wine leaves him, making him blush.

The sheriff laughs and puts a hand on his shoulder.

He calms down, that felt right.

Why?

Father and the sheriff talks about something, but he doesnt get what they are saying.

What is happening?

He understands that he is sick.

But why is the sheriff here?

Is it to throw him in the prison like last time?

No, he doesnt understand.

Anyway, he must make breakfast for Father.

He tries to turn around to go to the kitchen, and only realizes the sheriff

still has a hand on his shoulder when he is hold back.

Turning to look at the sheriff makes him dizzy, and he would have fallen if the sheriff hadnt grabbed him around his waist to steady him.

"I think we should go now" the sheriff says, and then they are moving.

He is looking at his feet all the way through the village, the sheriff holding a warm hand on his neck all the way.

All kind of feelings is running through his mind, it is too much and too little and all in all very confusing

 

When they enter the sheriffs home, he doesnt bring him down to the basement where the cells are, but to a bedroom.

The bed is big, looks soft, and is filled with pillows and blankets.

Â He just wants to burry himself down in them and sleep this sickness away.

But a little voice in his head says that sleep is not what he really wants.

The door to the bedroom is closes, and he turns around expecting to be alone.

But the sheriff is still in the room, slowly walking towards him with a big grin on his face.

A shudder goes through his body, his heartbeat increases, and his mouth goes dry.

Then the sheriff bends down and sniffs his neck, almost like Father had done, and lets out a groan.

"you smell so nice, even under all that grim. Lets get you clean little boy."�

The sheriff goes to another door and tells him to follow.

Inside what is a spacious bathroom, a big tub with hot water is waiting.

His clothes are suddenly on the floor, and soon he feels himself surrounded by water.

This is surreal.

The water feels amazing, he could stay in the tub forever if it was up to him.

"clean yourself up really good, dry yourself and come back to the bedroom.

Here is the soap"� the sheriff said. "and dont bother with the clothes"�

He tries to clean himself as quick as possible, but it is difficult to get all the dirt out of his hair.

Father doesnt want to waste warm water at him, he cant remember the last time he has taken a bath.

Has he ever had a bath?

Thinking is getting difficult again, something tells him to go to the sheriff, so he hurries up.

He gets up and dries himself with a soft and warm towel, his hands shake when he opens the door.

Back in the bedroom, he finds the sheriff sitting on the bed, and he flushes and tries to hide himself behind the towel.

"come here, boy"� the sheriff says, looking up and down his body.

"take of the towel, you dont need it"�

Shaking a little, feeling warmer and warmer, he lets the towel go.

"what a pretty boy "the sheriff almost whispers, bringing a hand up to touchs his face.

"here, take this pill, we dont want any babies, do we"�

Even if he doesnt understand the meaning behind the words, he swallows the pill.

Its not like he has a choice. 

The sheriffs slowly bring his hand to his shoulder, letting it slowly glide over his upper body, down his stomach and to his inner thighs.

His thoughts calm a little, the burning in his stomach growing.

Something goes on with his penis, it grows bigger and he gets sticky between his buttocks.

Then a hand is pressing inn where the sticky stuff is, and a finger is pushed inside him.

His face flush, this feel wrong, but oh so good.

He is dizzy, releasing a breath he didnt know he was holding.

After some minutes with the finger moving around, it is pulled out, and he whimper a little at the loss.

Through heavy eyelids he watches the sheriff take his clothes of, and thinking becomes impossible.

He is face down on the bed, and something much bigger than a finger penetrates him fast.

It hurts.

He tries to get away, but the sheriff just pushes him harder to det bed and moans.

The fever goes down, and he feels more normal.

Then his brain finally understands what is going on.

He may not know a lot about making babies, and certainly not between two males, but there is no mistaking what is going on.

And there is no mistaking that the pain is replaced by something totally different.

The burning in the bottom of his stomach gets stronger before he suddenly moans, and some sticky stuff shoot out of his penis.

He knows the sticky stuff is called something, but his brain is not working, he only feels the release he gets from it.

The sheriff continues to slam in to him, moaning and breathing hard.

And soon the feeling is back, the stomach burns and burns and all he can do is wright and moan and scream.

This is totally new to him, this sticky stuff and this feeling in his body.

But he likes it, wants more, cant get enough!

The sheriff slams in to him one final time, grunts, pulls out and lets himself fall on the bed beside him.

His body feels heavy and pain free, and soon he drifts of to sleep.

The next thing he knows, the sheriff is pulling him up on all four, before slamming back in calling him pretty boy.

Shivers run through his body, all he can focus on is the sensation this gives him and nothing else matters.

They both moan and breath hard, sticky stuff happens again and again, and then everything goes white.

The feeling of something wet and cold between his thighs makes him whine.

He forces his eyes open and sees the sheriff cleaning him up, calling him sweet, good boy, and mine, mumbling about breeding and omega and nothing makes sense.

He feels his fever come back, his stomach ache and he curl in on himself whining.

The sheriff shushes him, manhandle him to all four again and pushes his face to the pillow.

Time blurs, his head spins and all he can focus on are the sensations running through his body.

But after a while he grows frustrated, pain goes through his body in waves, and he growls in frustration.

The fever never subsides, the burning in his stomach never leaving him for long.

He doesnt know what to do, everything is fuzzy, and he gets angry.

All he wants to do is sleep this sickness of, but his body wants more.

It is embarrassing, he isnt used to listen to his own body, he doesnt count.

But Father is not here, his body craves and craves and craves, and he didnt want this!

The fever rises higher and higher, his head hurts, and he feels dizzy.

It doesnt appear that the sheriff notices, he either sleep or pounds in to him, manhandling him around in the bed.

 

Sometimes the sheriff forces him to eat or drink, he tries to turn away, but gives in when the sheriff gets angry.

Now and again he feels himself getting cleaned up, and the sheets under him feels fresh for a while, before everything is as dirty as before.

Eventually the sheriff leaves him, the dizziness in his head making it impossible to understand what the sheriff says, only feeling the burning in his stomach increase until that burning is everything he can focus on.

Tossing and turning and growling he wonders what the hell is going on.

Whimpering, moaning and crying over the empty feeling in his chest.

He finally falls asleep early in the morning, only to wake up again to the sheriff carefully lowering him in the tub.

Warm water engulfs him, careful hands cleaning him slowly.

His brain feels clearer for a moment, only making him more confused.

The sheriffs are taking care of him, feeding him, making sure he drinks enough water and now give him a bath?

Its too much to comprehend.

 

For each passing day, the sheriff gets sweeter and sweeter, caressing his body and at one time even using his mouth tasting him everywhere!

That felt really good, the sticky release calming his restlessness for some time.

But soon enough he is growling and pouting and begging the sheriff for whatever it is he is missing.

The sheriff just laughs at him, pounds him harder and calls him a needy little slut.

The fever gets so bad, he cant stay awake, unconsciousness finally gives him some relief...

After almost a week in the sheriffs bed, he wakes up calm and feeling normal again.

The sheriffs tell him to get in to his clothes and sends him home with a small pouch to give to Father.

 

Soon his life is back to normal, almost as if the sickness and everything with the sheriff never happened.

But when Father yells at him in the evening, telling him how useless he is and what a burden he is, he thinks of the sheriff.

Calling him sweet, good boy, and caressing him in the middle of the night.

Maybe he isnt completely useless?

Maybe Father is a little bit, kind ... wrong?

But he lets these thoughts go, concentrating on Father and his need.

Something is happening in the village, strangers lurking in the shadows, and people whispering at the marked.

Father is drinking more and more beer, complaining about everything and falling asleep at the couch.

One a night like all the other, ones again Father yells at him.

"you filthy shit, all this shit could have been better, if not for scum like you!

You give me headaches!

Why would this world need freaks like you!

Slutty omegas, no use of that here in this village.

We are proud hardworking people, lazy scum has no place her.

You are really lucky you have me, you her me?"

He is trying to cover his face, not wanting visible cuts and bruises.

Tomorrow is marked day, and he dont want people to take notice of him.

Lately, he gets more glances, he hears people talking about him behind his back, and he doesnt like it.

Ever since he was sick, people in the village looks at him with pity in their eyes, and he dont understand.

It makes him feel ashamed and dirty, in a way he never thought over before.

And that confuses him, when did he start caring for himself?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters will probably not be postet regularly, but I will do my best
> 
> edit:
> 
> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain verbal and physical abuse and kidnapping


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first work, and English is not my primary language.
> 
> all feedback and comment will be appreciated.

**3**

_He is in the meadow, flowers all around him._

_Someone is laughing, a woman, mommy?_

_Then a deep rumble makes him turn around, and he can see a naked man lying beside him._

_The man is beautiful, strong arms, hard abs and long muscular legs._

_Nestled inn between the thighs a gleaming cock stand proudly._

_Looking up to his face, all he can see is some deep blue eyes, the rest is kind of a blur._

_The now familiar burn in his stomach fills him, and a hand stretches to touch that perfect body._

_But everything fades away, leaving him in a dark empty and cold room he never has seen before._

 

Blinking his eyes, he tries to understand that new dream.

He blushes deeply at first, then he remembers those beautiful eyes, and he ends up thinking of them the rest of the day.

At the marked, he sees several strangers, but he manages to keep out of their way.

He gets hold of some garlic, a fat chicken, potatoes and even some tomatoes, along with the normal essentials.

Father will be happy with the dinner tonight, he deserves that now!

He heard a lot of stuff at the marked, some people even said the elders is wrong in their kind of leadership, so he knows this is hard for Father.

The rest of the day he spent cocking, but the blue eyes never left his mind for long.

Father is pleased with the dinner and is calmer when he drinks his beer afterwards.

He even starts to talk about his problems, almost as if he forgets who he talks to.

Father talks about rumors of gangs kidnapping young men and women, wanting to use them to breed some kind of enhanced people, and ruining the future of these villages.

How villages die out without enough labor, youth and kids.

Father yells about enhanced people, making them sound like the scum on earth, whatever they are.

This leads to Father yelling at him.

"your useless scum!

How come they take the strong and good peoples, they could take filthy weaklings like you!

Theres no use of you anyway!"

Father goes very quiet after that, shaking his head, and then goes to bed.

 

That night he cant sleep.

Why does Father hate him so much?

All he ever does is taking care of Father and the house, why does that make him weak?

And that stuff about breeding enhanced people, why does Father hate that so much?

And breeding men?

He doesnt quite understand his own thoughts, but something is lurking in the back of his brain, giving him a headache.

So, he decides to let the thoughts go.

But soon he catches himself listening at the gossip at the marked, unable to keep his focus solely on the food he wants like he always did before.

One time he even hears two men argue, one saying the elders is outdated and should be replaced, the other praising everything they have done for the village and saying people must trust that the elders knew what they were doing.

The argument goes back and forth, some of the tings said about Father was out right terrible, so he couldnt make himself stay to hear more.

But late at night, everything he have heard or seen these last weeks comes back to haunt him.

When he cleans his new wounds, feeling dizzy and nauseous, the thoughts about how unfair his life is sneaks inn to his head.

Even the young boys that the gossip says are homeless and have to beg for food, thou skinny and dirty, never looks as bad as him.

So maybe Father is a little wrong in how he treats him, beating him almost every night.

On the other side, he is a scum, these boys probably arent.

So, he shakes the thoughts away and finish up before going to bed.

 

_He is sitting in the meadow, the place much smaller then he remembers, and the laugher coming from behind is much deeper._

_A shiver runs through his body, he turns around and there he is._

_Beautiful blue eyes shining, and a big smile makes him warn inside._

_Ones again he feels safe, nothing wrong can happen to him here.._

_Strong arms come around him, making him lean back._

_I_ _m waiting for you... is whispered in his ear._

_Slowly the meadow melts away..._

 

He wakes up with a smile on his face, deciding to savor this dream as long as he can.

 

A couple of months later he's at the marked looking for some meat that isnt too expensive, when someone grabs his arm and drag him inn to an alley.

« hey! Look at this, an omega wandering around all alone. »

«And his not marked, guys!!

This is gone be so much fun.»

The world is spinning, hands grabbing him everywhere.

He has been able to stay away from these strangers for weeks now, but he guesses he is out of luck.

He tries to make a run for it, but stumbles, hits his head and everything goes dark.

 

When he wakes up again, he is laying on the floor of a wagon, blindfolded and with his hands tied behind him.

The guys from the alley is arguing about him, one of them arguing about wanting to have fun with him, and the other saying something about damaged goods.

It's something about money, marked, fool, alpha, the auction and drinking.

And the word omega is ones again used.

His head hurts, he is thirsty and can't make any logic of anything, and soon falls unconscious again.

The next time he opens his eyes, hes been yanked out of the wagon, an old lady looks him over and sniff at him(!), before she grunts and gives the guys taking him something.

Then he is dragged inside a dark hallway and pushed inside an even darker room with so much force that he falls on his as.

Blinking his eyes to accommodate to the dark, he can that he is not alone.

Several men and women huddle on some mattresses in the corners, silently watching him.

"welcome to hell"� one of the young man says.

The others start to murmuring, some agreeing and some protesting about the announcement.

"hell?

where am I?

why am I here?"� the words pass his lips without him thinking about it.

But before anybody can say anything, a booming voice tells them to shut up, and silence is his only answer.

He is still dizzy, so he curls up on him self and soon falls in an uneasy asleep.

 

_"_ _Soon my love, we will be together... dont give up..."_

_A caress to his chin, and blue loving eyes._

_He feels safe, warm and cared for..._

 

The next morning brings a breakfast of porridge, bread with butter and even fruits!

In one corner, there is the water dispenser and enough cups for everyone.

Baffled he looks to the guy sitting next to him and is told that they try to make them gain weight, because that means they are healthy and in better shape to have kids.

His mouth falls open, and he tries to ask what the man means, but no sound leave his mouth.

A couple of hours later, he understands at least a little more.

He is an omega, they all are.

And all omegas can have children, even the male ones.

In fact, omegas get pregnant much easier than the normal peoples, and more often than not carry twins or even triplets.

They tell him a lot more, but his brain stops functioning, trying to understand what little he gets.

He is an omega.

A breeder, the kind Father talked about and hated.

No wonder Father hated him, calling him scum.

Calling him a freak, not like the normal peoples in the village.

Father called him useless too.

But here nobody treats him like scum, or useless, the other omegas even said the human population is depended on them to survive.

Something about needing more babies, another thing he doesnt understand.

At least father was correct in that, he is stupid.

Maybe that was the reason father called him useless?

Full of food and new information he tries, and fails, to stay awake.

 

He wakes up to heavy boots entering the room, to big broody guys coming in.

They call up names from a list, and slowly people stands up ready to go with them.

One of the youngest girls starts to cry hysterically, and in the end one of the big guys just picks here up and leave.

"this is not hell, its only the waiting room."� an older woman whispers to him.

He learns that the guys that took him, sold him to the lady that is the boss of this place, and that this place is an auction house for breeding stock.

Soon after they get some kind of stew that tastes better than it looks like, a bottle of water each, and the rest of the day they are left alone.

 

To days a week there is an auction, where the omegas get sold to the highest bidder.

Normally an alpha wanting children, or maybe a new toy.

Alphas are the counterpart to the omegas, the other part of the enhanced people.

Alphas are the best of the best, without them to get the omegas pregnant, the human species would most likely die out.

So, they can do almost whatever they want, and they do.

A couple of the oldest omegas in this room is runaways, getting away from an abusing alpha only to get caught and put on auction again.

 

One of them lost his baby on the run, his eyes look lifeless, his skin dull and gray.

The other one is always angry, telling everybody how terrible all alphas are.

He cant bring himself to care much, abuse is nothing new to him.

He will manage.

The next time they come for omegas for the auction, he is suddenly grabbed by the big guys, yelling at him for not coming when they call his name.

But he doesnt know his name, does he have a name?

How do they know his name, when he doesnt himself?

They are brought to a big room, told to take of his clothes and stand along one wall.

When they all are lined up they get hosed with cold water, before another guy writes a number on their right upper arm telling them they no longer go by their old name.

This number is how they will be identified, their new owner decides what they want to call them.

He follows the rest of the omegas out a new door, and he is met with a bright light blinding him, before he is pressed down on his knees.

The atmosphere is electric, people yelling and hollering, some of the omegas silently crying.

He doesnt cry, whats the use, he will be sold anyway.

Now that he is more used to the light, he can see that they are on stage, with rows after rows of what he assumes is alphas looking down at them.

He has never cared about his looks before, but all the hungry eyes roaming over the omegas make him conscious about his naked body.

A number is called, and the first omega in the line is brought to the front of the stage.

And a small fat man starts yelling, describing the girl trying to get as much money for her as possible. 

Numbers are thrown out, before the fat man yells sold!

One after one the omegas is brought to the front, and after fat man yells sold, they are taken out of the room.

All the noise is making him dizzy, he stumbles when he first is brought to the front, and then to another room.

There he is told to sit on a chair and wait for his new owner.

He is so cold he is shivering, his brain going a mile an hour, wondering what his live will be like from now.

Somebody owns him, and he would have to do what he is told for the rest of his live.

Almost like with Father, but with sex.

He still cant get his head around that he can get pregnant, the thought of having kids very foreign to him.

All the changes he has been through the last months makes his head spin, nauseas making his stomach turn.

He is sitting there for a long time, most of the other omegas sitting in the same room as he is already being picked up some time ago.

Its just him, and one other male omega, waiting and waiting.

Finally, the door opens, and a stone-faced man enters.

The alpha, obviously, barely look at them, before he throws us some clothes and tells us to follow him and walks away.

Is this his new owner?

He sneaks a look at the man as they hurry after him, and he looks really powerful.

They walk down a short hallway and out a door that leads outside, before joining several other people in the back of a wagon driven by a motor and not horses.

Shortly after they drive away towards his new life.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is still my first story, loves comments telling me what you think!

After a couple of hours of driving, the houses are replaced by trees on his left, and on his right, he can see a huge wall towering over the road.

Looking both ways, he finds he cant see the end of the wall on either side.

This place must be huge!

 

When they stop and are let out of the car, a man comes out of a small gate and greets them.

"welcome to The Futures Sanctuary!

My name is Stan, and I am the administrator of this heaven of ours!

You are all beautiful omegas, and here you will be given the chance to live your life to the fullest!

To fulfil your destiny and, together with the alphas her, help the human spices to survive! "

The man looks like the sunshine, a big smile on his face.

It makes him nervous, nobody is this happy.

Looking around he can se the others around him also looking skeptical, some biting nails or looking down.

"now, come in come in, lets get your new lives started!"�

They are taken to an office for a short registration, everybody in this heaven must be counted for, Stan says.

Their number gets washed of their arm and then they get in a line waiting for their turn with the woman writing down all their information.

When its his turn, the woman asks for his birth name, and he panics.

He doesnt know his birth name, Father never used it, he didnt really think he had one!

Looking down to the floor, he mumbles that he doesnt know.

"you dont know your name" the woman there says tiredly.

Grabbing for the papers that came with him from the auction house, she shakes her head.

"It says your name is Quinn, but no surname. "

The woman continues to talk, but he just looks at her with a blank face.

Quinn... his name is Quinn, he cant remember ever hearing it, it feels weird.

Shrugging his shoulders, he lets the thoughts go.

When she is finished, he goes to the next room where he gets some clothes, a towel, a hairbrush, toothbrush and several containers of different kinds of soap.

"this is just to get you started, if you need something more or different, this place is open a few hours every day."�

A young man says, smiling to him.

Thanking him, he tries to smile back.

 

Afterwards, he gets his own room, with his own bed, and a door with a lock.

He is introduced to the rest of the people he will share the house with.

He shares with 4 guys and 3 women, everybody seems nice enough.

One of the girls offer to show him around, and it turns out this place is much bigger than his old village.

"all meals are served in the cafeteria-tents, there is 4 of them, and we belong at number 2.

You can also buy your own food and make it at the house, but none of us bother!"�

She laughs and bump his shoulder friendly.

"everybody has to work, but only for a few hour a day, and the rest of the day we have fun!

Well, we must work out and take good care of how we look, but that is fun anyway so...

Oh, and we all have a weekly appointment with the doctors, to keep control of our cycles, and to make sure we are healthy.

And if we are cleared, we go to the mingle-party every Friday!

Thats where we can meet the alphas and try to woo them.

Sometimes, they even want some private time with us!"�

The girl, Mira is her name, giggles.

Her face goes serious before she says:

"No offense, but just by looking at you, I can say you will not be going to these parties for some time, you are way too skinny to get an all clear."

The girl rambles on about the wonders of the alphas at this place, and that a couple of them have shown an interest in her.

And that its only a couple of weeks before her heat starts, so she is extra careful with her appearance now to make sure one of them will choose her!

His head ones again spins, he wants to ask her what the heat is, and why she want an alpha to choose her, but all he manage to do is yawn.

He tries to hide it, afraid she will be angry at him, but she just laughs at him and brings him home.

"dinner in one hour, Il get you then!

Now go get some rest."�

She calls over her shoulder as she leaves him alone.

Inside his room, he looks at the bed.

He tries to lay down on it, but his breath gets caught and he starts shaking.

People like him doesnt deserve their own bed, this must be a trap!

Jumping of the bed, he lays down on the floor instead, instantly feeling better.

Blinking dry eyes, he looks up at the ceiling without really seeing it.

Theres so much new going on in his life, he wishes he was back at the village.

He wonders about who is taking care of Father now, making his food and cleaning the house.

Maybe Father doesnt miss him, since he hated him so much, but he really misses the life he knew and is used to.

Closing his eyes thinking about life in the village, he drifts of to sleep.

 

_The flowers in the meadow surrounds him, the familiar place calming him down._

_But there is something missing, no laughter, no one singing._

_Turning around and around looking for someone, anyone, he realizes he is all alone._

_And in spite of the summer breeze, the colorful flowers and the sun warming his skin, he gets more and more agitated._

_This is not right!_

_Something is wrong!_

_His heaven is empty, head spinning he sits down hard._

_Â Whining he dries his eyes._

_Then a whisper from far away reaches his ear._

_"_ _hold on.. dont give up my love..."_

_He gets up, swirling around trying to see where the voice is coming from, he cant find anyone._

A knock on the door makes him sit up right, frantically looking around not knowing where he was.

"Quinn? its dinnertime!"�

Mira calls through the door.

He slowly gets up, stretching and opens the door.

 

The cafeteria is not at all like he expects.

Not that he expected much, he has never been to one before, but it is definitely not this.

Long rows of tables make up most of the space, and a long counter filled with food along the wall closest to them.

"here, grab a tray and a plate, and just pick whatever you want" Mira says.

He looks and looks at the counter, he has never in his life seen so much food.

The smell alone makes him nauseous, his hands shaking when he takes the tray Mira is handing to him.

Slowly he walks towards the mountains of food, there is no way he will be able to pick something here.

This must be another trap, he is sure of it!

As new and strange as everything is around her, he knows people like him doesnt deserve this kind of treatment.

He should sleep on the floor, eating scraps and work hard, thats all he is good for!

Calming himself down some, he puts some bread and a small piece of cheese on his plate, satisfied he has made the right choice.

Looking up, he finds Mira standing beside him with a big frown on her face.

"no wonder you are so skinny, that isnt enough to satisfy an infant!

Here, grab some of these vegetables, some of this lovely soup, and this meat pie is amazing!"�

With wild eyes he looks at his now full tray, shaking his head wanting to tell her to stop.

But with a look at her tray, he can see hers is almost as full as his.

Mira sees he is looking at her tray and gives a small smile.

"I know this is not a lot, but I cant afford to eat too much now, wanting to impress the alphas before my heat and all."

She smiles at him, giggling a little again.

"you can go to get some more after you have finished that, the cakes here is to die for... jummy...

The first thing Im gone eat after my heat, is cake.

Lots of cake.

I will deserve it too, after a heat spent with a hunky alpha in my bed!"

She shakes her head a little, and giggles some again.

He doesnt understand why an alpha using her as a toy is something to giggle about, but there is a lot he doesnt understand.

Not that he expects to understand much, like Father said, he is stupid and useless.

For every new thing people tells him, that is becoming more and more obvious.

Focusing on Mira again, he sees her waving at him to follow.

She walks to a table where everyone is talking loudly and laughing even louder.

"hey guys, this is Quinn, he is new her!" Mira says sitting down in an empty place.

Everybody greets him and make room for him to sit down.

Sitting in the space they made, he looks down on his tray and wonders what to do.

Everything on his tray looks amazing, but he will definitely get sick if he eats it all.

Besides, he is still not sure about this being a trap or not.

Taking a deep breath, he decides to taste a bit of everything.

It tastes even better then it smells, he moans around a mouth full.

Panic fills him, his looking around frantically, to see if anybody noticed.

But everybody is talking and laughing and having a good time, so nobody heard.

 

Ten minutes later all his food is gone, and he feels sick.

Not only did he fail this test, he is going to vomit over everybody making them hate him too!

Desperately he looks around, this is so bad!

Luckily, a man sitting next to him sees what is about to happen and gets him away from the table and out of the tent.

"Come her"� the man says, dragging him around a corner before he violently retches up all that delicious food.

After the vomiting calms down, the guy gives him a bottle of water and tells him to rinse his mouth.

"not used to eat enough, are you?"

The guy smiles at him, but it looks a little forced.

Like he is talking to a child, the man tells him to take thing slow for a couple of days, to make his stomach used to food again.

Looking lost at the man, he mumbles that he will do that, even if he knows he will never eat this much again in his life.

Since he failed the test, he is sure he will be moved to the place where he really belongs tomorrow.

He feels guilty, and after excusing himself, he turns around and quickly walks back towards his room.

When he gets there, he finds a note attached at his door, but he doesnt know how to read.

He will have to ask someone for help, showing how useless he really is.

Making a fool of himself ones again, as if this night wasnt enough.

Not that he cares, he is a fool, so there is no reason to hide it.

He will ask for help, let them know who he really is, and... yeah... 

Tomorrow.

Right now, he is going to bed, trying to sleep this day away.

He cant cope with this place tonight.

Curling up on the floor, he closes his eyes.

Maybe he will wake up tomorrow at home in his nest, all this just a bad dream...

 

_Ones again, he finds himself in the meadow._

_Ones again, he is alone._

_But this time, the silence feels good._

_Being alone, surrounded by silence, in a place he knows well._

_Not confusing and loud and strange and new._

_Looking around, he sees that he is in the kitchen, Fathers dinner cocking on the stow, toothbrush in his hand._

_This is where he belongs._

_This is home._

_What he deserves._

_His life!_

 


	5. Chapter 5

Sunrise the next morning and he was sitting on the step outside the house.

Pondering about the dream he had last night, deciding what to do next.

He knows that he doesnt belong here, but he also knows that he cant leave.

Just because they called this a sanctuary, it doesnt mean that he is free.

No, he was sold at that auction, and the leaders of this place had bought him.

Not that he ever was free, but he still longs for the simple life he had in the village.

He has no idea about what will happen today, or tomorrow, or next week.

The unknown scares him.

And all the new life- altering information that is pushed on him, makes it unbearable.

 

After who knows how long, a couple of the people he shares the house with comes out.

"oh! There you are!"� one of them says before going back inn.

Mira comes jogging out and throws herself at him, giving him a hug.

"you scared me! I went to your room, and you wernt there!"�

Pushing the woman of him, he gets up and looks at her questionably.

"you disappeared so fast last night, Keith said you got ill, and when I couldnt find you this morning I freaked out a little!"�

Still not understanding why she reacts as she does, he just gives her the note he has in his hand.

"what does this say?" he asks.

She gapes at him for a few seconds, like she doesnt understand what he says, then shrugs her shoulder before taking the note and reading it.

"oh! Its just an appointment with the administrator to set up your work schedule at ten, and your doctor appointment at one a clock."�

Mira says giving the note back and starts to walk down the stairs.

Then she slowly turns around and looks at him, finally realizing how stupid he is.

"did you... did you ask me because you cant read?"�

Nodding he looks down.

And before she can say anymore, before any of the people living with him can say anything, he walks down and toward the cafeteria- tent.

It is obvious breakfast time, why else would his housemates come outside?

So, he will have breakfast and then he will ask his way to the administrator to try to find out more about his new life.

 

For breakfast, he grabs a small portion of porridge and a bottle of water.

He doesnt need more, in fact, this is more than he usually eats at home.

But the food smells so good, and he is so hungry after last nights fiasco.

Sitting with the same people as last night, he tries to focus on his food and nothing else.

But it is obvious that Mira wants to talk, she is giving him glances and her brows is burrowed.

He doesnt want to have that talk, so he eats as slow as possible, in the hopes that she would finish hers and leave.

He doesnt have such lock, when the seat beside him becomes free, she sits down and smiles.

"I thought I could come with you to the administrator, to show you the way.

Besides, I really need to have a quick talk to him myself."�

He shrugs, there is no way she is letting him be.

Besides, he suddenly remembers that he has no idea what time it is, or how he can find out!

Stupid scums like him never needed to know the time.

 

They arrive at, he suspects, the right time at the administrators office.

And after Mira have a quick word with the administrator, he sits down in a chair and looks at the man.

"how are you doing, Quinn?"� the man says.

"I know this meeting was arranged to decide what kind of work you could do for all of us here at the sanctuary, but I think we have some other things to talk about first."�

Here it comes, he thinks.

He had failed the test, they knew he didnt belong here, and would correct that error.

"when I looked at your registrations papers yesterday, I saw that it didnt say your surname, so I asked my secretary if she had made a mistake.

But she told me your papers didnt have any surname in it, and that you didnt even know your first name!

And, then Mira comes in here and tells me you cant read?

It that correct?"�

He gives a small nod and looks to the floor.

"all in all, the papers didnt say much about you.

How come?"�

Confused, he looks up at the man.

He doesnt know anything about the papers, why would he?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the administrator looks at him.

"listen...

This is not the first time I have encountered omegas like you, and frankly it bothers me every time.

Let me guess.

You grew up in a small old-fashioned village, the people looked down at you and maybe some of them was afraid of you!

Maybe they didnt treat you right.

So, when you got the change, you said yes to the collector- crew just to get out of there.

And now you are afraid that we will send you home for some reason?

Tell me that that is the reason you said you didnt know your name!"�

He just shakes his head.

A lot of that he doesnt understand, but he knows the answer to that last question.

"okay.. so..."�

Here it comes, he thinks.

"Quinn, first of all, call me Stan.

Secondly, just tell me about yourself, how you grew up and how you ended up at that auction?

Please?"�

The man has a pleading look in his eyes, so he tells him about Father, the village, the guys grabbing him and selling him to the auction house.

It doesnt take long, but at the end the administrator looks pale.

Stan then starts to ask questions, about what he know about omegas and alphas and heats and stuff.

Most of it he doesnt know anything about, the rest he just says what he was told at the auction house.

Well, what he could remember of it.

At the end of the meeting, instead of telling him that he was at the wrong place and send him to where ever scum was hold at this place, Stan tells him that he should forget about work for now.

That he needs to focus his health, and to learn as much as possible about all the stuff he doesnt understand.

Enhanced people like alphas and omegas, about this sanctuary and the world outside, about how his body work and the hierarchy here.

And about how he should behave, what he should do, to make the alphas want him.

His head was spinning!

He was also given a note to give to his doctor at his appointment later.

Just to make sure he didnt miss that appointment, he asked for directions and went straight there.

 

The doctor, an old man, looked at the note and gave him a strange look.

"lets check you out, son."�

He was measuring his height and weight, looking in his ear, eyes and mouth.

Pinching his skin at his waist and arm and drawing blood.

Questioning him about his eating habits, his hygiene habits and how he slept at night.

And all this with soft touches and quiet murmuring trying to soothe him.

Fingertips brush over his chin, resting over his neck, a hand to his lower back guiding him in the direction the doctor wanted him.

The doctor called him good, and pretty, and other nice words making him blush.

He felt lightheaded, calmer that he ever could remember, and couldnt stop smiling.

Strange, but heavenly.

Its like he can share his innermost thoughts with the doctor, that whatever he says, it is okay.

He was then told he had to gain weight, (no, there is not a test, eat as much as you can!) get a lot of rest, (no, the bed is not there to test you either, use it!) and to come back the next week. 

 

The following days he tries to do what the doctor said, but it isnt easy.

Even when he discovers lunch, a meal between breakfast and dinner, he still struggles with the amount of food everybody said he needs.

His body achs because he spends so much time in bed.

And, how is he supposed to learn anything, when he cant read all the books and pamphlets people is offering him!

Everybody is busy working, working out or having fun.

The first Friday, when everybody is out at the party, he ends up sitting on the stairs outside looking at the stars.

It had only been a couple of weeks since he left the village, but that life seems so far away.

He is sitting there grumbling for hours, not even noticing when people starts to come back home.

The silence is so nice, another thing he misses from the village.

He sits there until the sun comes peeking over the wall and heats up his face.

Guilty he jumps up, hoping nobody catches him in staying up all night.

Just as he opens the door to go in, a couple of arms comes around him from behind, Miras laughter filling his ears.

Dragging him inside, she starts to whisper about this great alpha that picked her up at the party.

He had taken her to his room, kissed her silly and then continued to devour her for the rest of the night.

What ever that meant.

He doesnt thing being devoured sounds nice, but she is so giddy and happy, so it probably is.

He is so fed up by not understanding, not knowing and feeling dumb.

Sighing he goes to bed, trying to get some sleep before the dreaded breakfast.

 

_He is sitting in the meadow, looking around._

_The wind is blowing hard, the sky is dark, and the rain is soaking him._

_Everything around him is in chaos, everything inside him is in chaos._

_Suddenly it feels like somebody is holding him, strong arms cradling him to a firm chest._

_But when he turns around there is nobody there, although the calming presence linger._

_Laying down, he watches the clouds drift across the sky, wondering why this storm doesnt bother him like it should do._

_He is cold and wet, a little jittery about the thunder, not liking being outside in this, but ..._

_He feels at peace, like this storm is passing and the sun soon coming out from behind the clouds._

_Satisfied he closes his eyes..._

The next Friday, he enjoys the silence sitting in the windowsill in his room, ones again contemplating his life.

The doctor had told him at his weekly appointment, that he could start exercising lightly, so he wanted to ask Mira about how to do that.

Mira was the only person he really could talk to, the only one he could hold on to with so many new peoples around.

People was nice to him, the ones he lives with always gave him a smile and said hello when they saw him, and the people he ate with tried to ask him how his day was and stuff.

But that just made it harder for him, why on earth was they nice to him!

It was much easier in the village, when nobody even looked at him if they didnt have to.

Mira just started to talk to him, and never let go.

But it was difficult to ask Mira about the exercising, or anything else for that matter, this week.

She behaved strange, giddy and happy one moment, sad and angry the next.

Her heat was coming this weekend, and that was all she could think about.

One moment she rambled about the alpha from last weekend, how wonderful it was going to be with him under her heat, the next moment she was terrified that nobody would want her.

As he understood, she would be offered to the alphas at the party on Friday, to see if any alpha found her good enough to spend her heat with her.

Then she would come home as normal, and on Sunday morning, she would leave for a heat-room to get ready for the alpha that would show up some time later.

The way she explained it, or rather babbled about it, it almost sounded like an auction.

Except that the alphas wouldnt pay anything, they just had to stay with here to her heat was over, and then walk away.

 

The heat was the only thing he had learned more about, picking up bits and pieces from Miras hurricane brain.

Omegas have heats 2-4 times a year, it lasts 4-8 days, and is heaven with an alpha, and a nightmare without.

When in heat, the chances for getting pregnant is very high.

And, since pregnancies is the reason omegas exists, he now understood the importance of getting an alpha to choose you. 

No babies without an alpha!

But there is still a lot about heat he think is confusing.

There was something about the omegas body that was different when in heat, but Mira obviously thought he knew what she talked about, so he didnt understand anything at all.

Nothing new, there.

Looking at the stars, he felt a heavy lump in his stomach.

If every omega had heats, why didnt he have them?

And, what if he never got them?

What use would a breeder who couldnt breed have?

None...

Stupid lazy scum, no use of him, even in this new world.


	6. Chapter 6

 

He falls asleep there in the windowsill, waking up the next morning to a stiff neck and knocking on the door.

Stretching his sore body, he opens the door to see Mira standing there with wild eyes.

She is shaking, biting her lower lip, before trowing herself at him.

"he didnt want me!! The alpha didnt want me!! What should I do!!!!â€�

Awkward he puts his arms around her, just standing there waiting for her to stop crying.

She tries to continue to tell him something, but she is crying so hard it is impossible.

He understands this is about the alpha from last Friday, and after a week listening to her talking about her heat, he thinks he understand why she is so upset.

But why she came to him, he has no clue.

After a while, she finally manages to calm down some, so he lets her go hoping she will leave him alone now.

But she just walks past him and sits down on his bed, looking at the floor.

He has never seen her like this, it feels wrong somehow.

Mira is always smiling big, laughing loud and dancing along life.

This is so out of her character.

So, he closes the door and sits down beside her.

It turns out the alpha was at the party, they had even talked for a while, and he looked really pleased when she said she was going in to heat.

But when she was introduced as one of two omegas going in to heat this week, he was nowhere to be seen.

When the matchmaker, the woman in charge of matching pairs for heats, had asked if anybody wanted to join her for the second time, an alpha said she was not theirs to choose.

Someone murmured in the crowd, but several big alphas at the front crossed their arms and looked around with steel in their eyes.

The matchmaker had looked disappointed, making Mira feel she had done something wrong.

Mira said she obviously had done something wrong, since nobody wanted her, she wasnt good enough.

He finds himself actually caring about Mira and her situation.

So, he asks if there is another way she still can end up with an alpha for her heat, and how she would feel if that happened.

He also asks about what she is going to do now.

It turns out she would just have to go to the heat room as normal, every omega in heat had to go there with or without a heat partner.

Unless an alpha comes to the matchmaker and asks specifically for her within the first day of her heat, she will have to manage alone.

And since nobody wanted to come forward at the party, she is sure her next week will be a nightmare.

Not to talk about a wasted opportunity.

No alpha, no baby.

That make her cry some more.

After finally calming down again, she packs her bag, and leave the house.

 

The week Mira is gone, he feels lonely.

He keeps to himself, avoids small talk in the cafeteria, and spends hours looking at the stars.

It takes him a couple of days before he realizes that that feeling he has is loneliness, not remembering ever feeling that way before.

He gets more and frustrated, drawn between longing for the simple life he had in the village, and the happy life he sees people around him have her.

The life he had in the village is forever gone, he knows that, and to get this new life to work, he needs to get healthy and educated.

But learning is difficult, everybody thinks he know as much as they do, when he knows almost nothing.

As usual, he goes to bed feeling sad and confused and frustrated and all kind of feelings.

Feelings he never had in the village.

Feelings making his life hard, but a different kind of hard then his life at the village used to be.

 

_The meadow is quiet, not even a little breeze playing in the threes._

_The sun is settling, the sky slowly turning pink and orange._

_He can feel something warm inside his chest, making him smile._

_Suddenly he is inside a dark room filled with whispers he doesnt quite hear._

_the warmth in his chest goes cold and sinks to his stomach, heavy and dull._

_He feels sad._

_Then he is lying on a cloud, soft furs all around and a warm body pressed close._

_The heavy lump in his stomach sinks lower, gets warmer and warmer until his groin is hot and...."_

 

Gasping he sits up in his bed, feeling gross between his tights and with a throbbing penis.

Wonderful.

Is he getting sick again?

It doesnt feel quite the same as last time, but why else would he leak like this?

Sitting in bed for some time, he feels himself cooling down, and after a shower he feels like normal.

His penis is acting strange, refusing to go back to normal, making it difficult to relive himself.

This only frustrates him more, one more thing he doesnt understand!!

 

At the doctors appointment later that day, when the doctor asks how the exercising is going, and if he understands more about his own kind now, he breaks down.

All the frustration just pours out of him.

How impossible it is for him to learn anything without help, how helpless he feels when he doesnt know the most basic things like how to exercise, what kind of food he needs and how to eat enough of it without throwing it all up again.

He knows he is stupid, but even he should now about the difference between soap for body and soap for hair!

That he had been in the sanctuary for almost two weeks before he found out there was hot water in the showers!

He even spits out about this mornings problem, almost crying in frustration.

After he gets everything out, the doctor looks at him with an open mouth for several minutes, before he catches himself...

Carefully, the doctor talks about something called masturbation, making him blush terribly.

The doctor coos at him and tell him to think about it.

After the usual tests, he goes home with slightly lighter steps.

The next day, he has a meeting with Stan the administrator, a man that worked as a teacher at the sanctuary, and a woman in charge of the physical health of the omegas.

Stan and the doctor had thought that the other had signed him up for meeting with these two, obviously no one of them had.

So, now he is supposed to have lessons about all the knowledge he must learn three times a week, between breakfast and lunch.

And, the two other days, he had exercise at the gym between lunch and dinner.

 

But before he even has his first lesson, Mira comes home.

She looks very very tired, and very very happy.

It turns out the alphas brother had gotten acutely ill and had to leave the party to get him home, but he really wanted to be with Mira through her heat.

Actually, he wanted to be with Mira outside of her heat to!

The alpha, called Todd, is a powerful alpha in the sanctuary.

He is strong but fare, fights for his believes, but never hurt anybody without needing to.

A lot of the other alphas looks up to him, and he have a lot of friends.

So, when he told his friends that he wanted Mira, nobody else dared to pick her at the party.

Well, somebody would probably picked her, if not for his friends shutting them down with their eyes.

Todd had come running to her late Sunday night, and her heat had been heaven.

A lot of devouring, a lot of talking, a little food and sleep, and more devouring again.

Or something like that.

Mira is back to her giddily self, a big smile constantly on her face.

The only thing that puts a shadow in here eyes, is when she whispers about the future.

Couples had to, for the most part, live in the shadows.

The alphas and omegas in the sanctuary lives separately, the only contact being the Friday party and other nighttime activities organized that evening.

Alphas can ask for playtime whenever, but a walk in the moonlight is a big no-no.

The thought behind this is that when an alpha is in a relationship with an omega, the alpha can just make that omega pregnant.

But outside of a relationship, an alpha can get several omegas pregnant each year.

Obviously, people fall in love, but it is only two ways for couples to live together.

Most of them sneaks around in the night.

Some alphas say that when an omega is pregnant with their baby, their instinct forbids them to leave the omegas out of their sight.

If the alpha claims that, the couple lives together during the pregnancy.

But after the baby is born, the omegas and babies are moved to the nursery homes.

The only other option, and the only permanent one, is mating.

If the alpha is powerful enough, he could mate an omega.

But a mate is for life, and ones you mate, you cannot be with someone else ever again.

Not a lot of alphas wants to be burdened with one omega for the rest of their life, when they can just play with a new one every week.

 

So, just because Mira is in love with her alpha Todd, she never dreams of ever after.

Mira dreams about a baby.

Of little girls in pink dresses, boys running around with their friends.

Slow walks in the sun with the stroller pushed in front of her.

She talks about pregnancys almost as much as she talks about Todd, with dreamy eyes and a hand on her stomach.

Swollen bellies, strong hands giving backrubs and big breasts filled with milk.

Omegas could be tested ten days after their heat, and if the alpha had made a request, they would get to know if the omega is indeed pregnant.

Listening to her talking about babies all the time makes him wonder what it would be to have his own baby, a little girl or boy to care for.

He tries to imagine himself with a big belly, breasts, a baby in his arms.

But it still feels wrong, not anything for him.

He focuses on his exercising and studying, learning more about alphas and how important they are, and taking long walks every morning before breakfast.

Mealtime slowly became easier, if it is the walks or the studying he dont know, but he manages to eat more food and keeping it down.

The thought of an alpha still scares him, knowing that they can do whatever they want with him irked him somehow.

He cant imagine a life where he would daydream of "his" alpha, looking forward to their next meeting.

But he is happy for Mira, hoping with her that the test will be positive and smiling when she ones again begins to rant about her dear Todd.

It is only when Mira begins packing the day before her appointment, that he realizes that she will leave if she really is pregnant.

That night he cant sleep, wanting her to be pregnant and get some months in heaven, wanting her to not be pregnant so that she wouldnt leave him.

And when did he start to care if she was around or not?

He had been alone his whole life, he certainly doesnt need anyone in his life now either!

Huffing he lays on his stomach, forcing himself to close his eyes.

 

_He is in his meadow._

_Its a sunny day, blue sky all around._

_Beautiful flowers of many colors dancing in the breeze._

_Tiny feets wiggling their toes, tiny fingers holding on to his.._

_Wait.._

_What??_

 

The next morning Mira leaves for her appointment after breakfast, and that is the last time for a long time he sees her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know what you think of my story!  
> is it to slow, can you follow my line of thoughts, is my grammar to bad, do you think its boring?  
> well, if your answer to the last question is yes, I`m not sure why you continue to read.  
> but, maybe you think some parts og the story is boring?
> 
> please let me know!
> 
> edit:  
> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain mastrubation


	7. Chapter 7

 

He is happy for Mira.

He really is.

But.

Its just so lonely her without her..

The days goes by, lessons of alphas and omegas anatomy blurring together with long walks and light weightlifting in the gym.

Without Mira, its so quiet around him.

He starts walking in the evening as well, long slow walks in the dark.

Sleeping is getting more and more difficult, he just cant stop thinking!

Thinking about how Mira is, how he ended up so close to her, why he ended up so close to her.

Wondering if she is happy now, together with her Todd.

He is also thinking about himself.

About his own life, his own future, and if he will end up pregnant and with the alpha of his life.

Wondering about his heat, when it will come, if it will come, how it will feel, would any alpha want him, did he want an alpha to want him?

The only times his brain goes quiet, is when he has lessons, and at mealtime.

 

Its hard to remember all the stuff he learns, but he marvels over everything he understands.

The way alphas instincts make them take care of the omegas, protect them from dangers without even knowing, making sure their every need is looked after even before the omega itself know about that need.

How the alphas feed them, breeds them and corrects them.

And not only are alphas brains amazing, their body is made to save the world in so many ways!

They are healthier than normal people, they live longer, are faster, can hear and see better.

Alphas ca smell so much better then normal people to, and not only tell whose alphas and whose omega.

No, they can recognize every single person by their smell only, they can even tell peoples emotions, or if someone is in heat.

They can even smell if an omega is pregnant, but just after 3-4 weeks.

And, they are much much stronger.

Big arms, heavy muscled torsos, strong lean thighs...

They are bigger, better and at the top of the world.

 

On the other hand, he really thinks omegas are great to!

As alphas, they too live longer and are healthier.

And obviously, the can get pregnant much easier than normal women, both male and female omegas.

They can also see better and hear better than normal people, but not quite as good as alphas.

Their sense of smell is even better then the alphas thou.

In addition to what the alphas can smell, omegas can smell sickness, and if they sniff at a baby, they can smell who their parents are.

And, when they are pregnant or have small babies, omegas are known to be even stronger then alphas when the babies are in danger.

But the teacher teaches him the last part with a scowl on his face, because only weak omegas ends up in a dangerous situation without an alpha to look out for them.

An omegas place is behind their alpha.

Or, in this case, omegas belong in the sanctuary taking care of themselves and the babies.

Alphas guard the wall that protects them making sure nobody gets in, or out, without going through registration.

The big and strong, taking care of the weak and fragile.

This differences between alphas and omegas are fascinating, but that the one is more important than the other, doesnt quite make sense to him.

Another thing his brain can spin and spin around about when he is supposed to sleep.

 

The only time when he really enjoys himself now, is mealtime.

Since he spends so much time walking around, his appetite is growing, and his portions grows with it.

Almost every day, he discovers some new food he never has tasted before, and almost every time he likes it.

Its not like the stews he made back in the village, here the vegetables are fresher, the meat softer and the seasoning more diverse.

He even gets some new friends.

Keith, the man that helped him that first night in the sanctuary, starts talking to him at breakfast about a week after Mira disappeared.

Keith is kind of nice.

He asks questions without acting nosy, and really listens when he answers.

Keiths friend Hans is kind of strange, and he doesnt like their friend Paige at all.

Her eyes are cold, its like she looks right through you.

He never sees her talking to anybody but Hans and Keith, most people look the other way when she comes.

Keith and he makes a habit of staying behind in the cafeteria after dinner some nights, just talking and hanging out.

One night, Keith tells him that nobody wants to have anything to do with Paige, because she has been here for more than a year, and still havent had a single heat.

"its like people thinks its contagious or something" Keith says shaking his head.

Both Keith and Hans have been through two heats without getting pregnant, something thats quite normal since they are of the older omegas here, but Paige is young.

 

He feels sorry for Paige.

Not having heats means no babies.

That makes him think about his own missing heats, fueling his brain for another sleepless night.

Will he ever have a heat?

If not, what will happen to him then?

He doesnt care about what the other omegas say about him, but what will his life be like, living here forever without heats.

 

Luckily, the next day, he has a doctors appointment.

So, after he is weighted, his temperature is measured, and his blood taken, he asks the doctor about it.

"your weight is still too low, so you should not think too much about your heat yet."� The doctor says, with a smile on his face and a comforting hand on his arm.

"when you gain another fifteen pounds, and your bloodwork looks good otherwise, then we can talk about heats.

For now, I still want you to focus on your health, eating and working out.

You have started to gain some weight now, although slow, so you are on the right track!"�

The doctor then asks about his eating and sleeping habits, only to orders him to eat even more, and to try to sleep a couple of hours more a night.

He is even a little disappointed, like its so easy.

The doctor doesnt understand how difficult this is!

All his life, he has eaten as little as possible, to make sur Father had enough and to not make Father angry.

Just enough to survive, exactly what he deserves.

And now, the doctor looks at him like he doesnt even try!

This new life is difficult to cope with.

Thinking about his health, focusing on himself, it goes against everything he has learned.

It takes more than a couple of months to change his way of thinking upside down.

He knows he is lucky to be here at the sanctuary, but non the less, he never asked to come here.

Curling under his sheets that night, all he wants is some hours with dreamless sleep.

Maybe the next day will be better.

 

_The meadow is calm, birds singing and flowers basking in the sun._

_He is on his back, eyes closed, trying to calm his breathing._

_Soft fingers caress his face, tracing his jawline, brushing his chin, his eyes, his lips..._

_Without opening his eyes, he knows nobodys there_

_But thats okay._

_He knows, that someday, not to fare away, there will be someone there._

_Real fingers, real body, real blue eyes.._

_Sparkling blue eyes seeing deep in to his soul._

 

The next day doesnt feel any better.

Or the next week.

 

Todays lesson is about heat, and he has been looking forward to it for some time now. 

And what a lesson it turns out to be.

The teacher tells him about how vulnerable omegas are when in heat, that all they think of is getting an alpha in bed, and how their smell keeps luring the alphas in.

How desperate and needy omegas are, and how nice alphas are taking care of them.

Like the alphas doesnt want to bed the omegas.

Of course, the teacher doesnt use these words, but he understands that that it what the teacher means.

It really irks him that omegas are weak and that alphas comes in and save them.

Every time.

At least, that is what the teacher tells him, praising the alphas and making them flawless!

Like these wonderful alphas would bed some pathetic omega without wanting it.

Not that he knows much about sex, but the way Mira talked about it, and the bits and pieces he has heard around the cafeteria, alphas and omegas both likes spending heats together.

But the worst part, that makes him almost loose his mind, is that throughout this whole lesson, that was supposed to teach him about heats, the teacher didnt tell him anything useful!

He still doesnt know about what happens to the omega bodies that Mira had hinted about.

He has no idea how it would feel like, what he should expect when he first gets his heat, or even what he should expect from an alpha if joined by one!

What was heat about, in addition to breeding.

The desperate need to understand this confuses him, making him even more frustrated.

Its like something is lurking in the back of his mind, just out of reach.

Falling face first in his bed, he feels like screaming.

He just stays there, face down, wishing for sleep to come.

_He isnt in his meadow, but in a big soft bed._

_The pillows and sheets are made of what feels like skies, caressing his skin when he moves around._

_Warm and relaxed he let out a little satisfied moan._

_I_ _ts like someone embraces his whole body, pushing him down, grounding against him._

_A kind of familiar warmth fills his lower stomach, he wants to grind back at the one on top, he wants to grind down into the sheets._

_A whine slips over his lips..._

 

He wakes up panting, grinding down in his bed.

Shit!

Grinding down a couple of times more he finally opens his eyes and stop.

Turning to his back, he tries to catch his breath.

What was that?

Looking out the window, he can see that it is still night outside, but he doesnt think he can get more sleep tonight.

He is soaking wet between his thighs, and his penis is throbbing so hard it hurts.

Remembering what the doctor said last time this happened, he carefully puts a hand over his crotch.

His eyes close tightly, his mouth falls open.

Pushing down a little, he feels his whole body tremble.

Sneaking his hand down his trousers and curling his hand around his member, he knows theres no stopping now.

Slowly he drags his hand along the length, experimenting and trying to find out what he likes the most.

But it doesnt take long before a long whine leaves his lips, his hips shot up, and his penis explodes.

Oh!

Sticky stuff!

That seams familiar.

He cant seem to stop, dragging his hand up and down his length, now wet with the sticky stuff.

This feels so good!

He feels dizzy, a sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

Faster and faster, the warmth burns higher and higher, his breath coming out in small puffs.

His hips shots up in the air, again and again, until his body goes stiff and his trousers get even wetter.

Still not satisfied, he pulls down his trousers, looking down at his long hard penis and the hand that strokes it.

Its like something is missing.

His brain shuts down, and instincts takes over.

Slowly his other hand moves down, beneath the penis, his balls, to the other opening back there.

It feels like something like this has happened before, but he cat remember...

Pushing one finger inside, his eyes rolls back, and he keens.

Soon one finger turns to two, then three.

Both hands working, in and out, up and down.

This time the warmth in his stomach just builds up and up and up, until it finally snaps, and he screams.

Trembling he calms down, drying his hands on his sheets, his brain starting functioning a bit.

But its not running around like he is used to now, rather calming down, and before he knows it he drifts back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some problems with this chapter.  
> It turned out longer than I wanted it to be, and I couldnt quite get it to flow like I wanted it to.  
> But I think I got it right now, and the bonus is that the next chapter is halfway done all ready!
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> edit:  
> WARNING:
> 
> the next chapter will contain violens, non-con/rape and talk about sex


	8. Chapter 8

 

When he wakes up the next day, he stays in bed for a long time just thinking.

Thinking about the time with the sheriff.

Thinking about what he has learned here, about heats, about alpha and omega dynamic.

Thinking that the sickness back in the village probably was a heat.

But that just brings up a new set of questions.

If that was a heat, how come he only have had two!

At his age, he should have had heats regularly for at least two years.

He has only had two, and if he remembers correctly, is was more than a year between the two times he was "sick".

And the last two questions are about Father and the sheriff.

Father obviously knew he is an omega, did he know about heats?

The sheriff helped him with his heat, was he an alpha?

Knowing he wont get any answer lying in bed, he drags himself out of it and in to the shower.

He is gross, dried semen (that was the name of the sticky stuff! Now he remembers...) and other fluids all over his body.

After the shower, he looks at his bed, and freezes.

Cleaning.

The sheets look terrible, when was the last time he cleaned them?

Or his room?

Panicked, he rips off the sheets before remembering that he has no idea where to clean them.

Throwing them in a corner, he stumbles out of his room locking for someone to ask about that.

But nobody is there, everybody is out eating breakfast he guesses.

Looking around, he decides to clean the common area while waiting, and soon he loses track of time.

When one of the guys he lives with comes back, the kitchen and living room is as pristine as it ever has been before.

It turns out that it is a machine in a room behind a door he has never noticed, that cleans the sheets.

And clothes, the guy says.

Hm...

Hes been using the sink in the bathroom for cleaning his clothes.

So, while he waits for the machine to be done with the sheets, he cleans his room and the bathroom.

He is embarrass about how dirty everything is and decides to clean everything at least twice times a week from now on.

 

When the sheets are hanging at the line between their house and the next, he suddenly remembers he is supposed to have a session about hierarchy today, so he runs to the teachers house.

He is late, the teacher is not pleased, and the session is boring and long.

How is he supposed to understand all this?

The teacher certainly expects him to both understand and remember everything he learns.

Just another remainder about how stupid he is.

 

At dinner that night, he asks Keith if they can talk afterwards, wanting to ask him about heats.

Keith says yes, so the stay behind when the rest leave.

When he stutters out that he wants to know more about heats, Keith just smiles and ask him what specifically he is unsure of.

"I just.. what is heat really?

The teacher talks about omegas in heat like they are animals out of control begging for any alpha to bed them, and alphas just being good alphas helping them through it.

But the way Mira talked about her last heat, it sounded like both parties enjoyed themselves, about caressing and talking and laughter and not just mindless bedding..."�

Keith gives him a little smile, before he answers.

"an omega in heat is not a crazy animal.

We can get a little desperate, our instincts telling us to breed, but we dont totally lose control.

The instincts tell us to find an alpha to breed us, but an alpha worthy of breeding with.

We want an alpha that can tend to all our needs, comfort us, feed us, capable of looking after not just us but our offspring too.

Yes, we crave an alpha, but its not like we want any alpha there is!

I have never heard of it, but a heat spent with an alpha you detest sounds horrible.

Yeah, you crave release like your life depends on it, but you dont need an alpha to get that.

The alphas just make it better...

I mean, a heat with an alpha you dont dislike, is so much better then a heat without an alpha.

And with an alpha we trust, one we feel safe with, its heaven.

Every touch makes you shiver, every word said is magic, their sheer presence calms us down.

The world zooms in, all that matter is the two of you, there, together.

Days and nights blend together, time doesnt matter, just the feeling of skin to skin, caresses and murmured sweet nothings.

Roaming hands, soft lips and fireworks exploding again and again..."�

Keiths eyes are lost in another world.

Or, more likely, a memory.

Heat really sounds nice, but there are still things he feels he need to know.

"but, Mira mentioned some changes happening with our body, what changes?"�

He blushes and whispers "and those releases... I... I think I know what you mean.."�

Blushing even more, he tells about the "sickness"� back in the village, and the help the sheriff had given him. 

Keiths mouth hangs open now, eyes huge.

"yeah... I think maybe you have had a heat"

But you have to talk to the doctor about that."�

It looks like Keith wants to say something more, but Hans comes running, telling them that Stan is looking for Paige.

Paling, Keith jumps up and runs out with Hans.

 

The next day Keith have a blank expression on his face, Hans wont even look at him, and Paige is nowhere to be seen.

He really wants to ask whats going on, but they ignore everything around them, and leave as soon as they are done eating.

Something doesnt feel right, a heavy lump building up in his stomach.

But he doesnt have time to think too much about it, because he has a doctors appointment right after breakfast.

For some reason, he is nervous before going in to the doctor.

After the normal checkups is done, he tells the doctor about his suspicion that he had a heat before he came here.

For some reason, the doctor doesnt like what he says.

The doctor gets really irritated, asking again and again why ha havent told him this before.

He tries to tell him that he didnt remember, but the doctor shakes his head and tells him to go home.

Curled up in his favorite windowsill, looking at the stars, he ones again thinks about his life.

He knew this was too good to be true, scum like him doesnt deserve to live in this sanctuary.

They were probably sending him away tomorrow.

Maybe back to the auction house. 

He made a fool of himself, who forgets about having a heat?

Well, he did.

A single tear runs down his chin, despair written on his face.

He doesnt deserve sleeping in the bed, so he just lets his eyes close where he sits.

 

_The familiar meadow surrounds him, but he isnt sitting down enjoying the scenery._

_He stands under a tree, hiding, looking around for some unseen danger._

_A hand lands on his shoulder, turning around he sees the sheriff standing there._

_"_ _come on beautiful little boy, its time to go."�_

_They are in the bed, his face is pushed down, the sheriff pushing in fast and hard._

_It hurts._

_He cries, tells the sheriff to stop, and get a slap on his head for it._

_Father is yelling, hitting him everywhere, kicking him down, calling him scum and worthless and stupid and worthless and a wasted space._

_He can hear bones cracking, blood splashing on the walls._

_Nauseas hits him hard, makes him vomit again and again before everything turns black._

 

A sound of something hitting the floor wakes him up with a jolt.

It takes a few seconds before he understands that the something that hit the floor is him.

He fell of the windowsill!

Shaking his head, he stands up, feeling the bump in the back of his head.

Its nothing.

His hands are trembling, but he tidies his room and packs his thing, before taking a shower.

Not knowing what to do next, he decides to get some breakfast.

Its no telling when he will get his next meal, so...

 

When Stan comes to pick him up at the cafeteria, its no surprise to him.

Hanging his head, he follows without a word.

They end up in Stans office, but Stan doesnt ask him to sit down, so he stands.

"well...

So, the doctor tells me you have already had a heat before you came her...

This changes a few things.

Since is seems like your body is fit enough to have heats, despite of how skinny you are, there is time for you to start contributing around here.

So, from today on, you are going to work with the cleaning crew.

I expect you to work hard, double shifts, you have been sitting on your arse long enough."�

Stan looks at him with steel in his eyes, obviously believing it was on purpose that he didnt tell them about his heat.

"you are not sending me away"� he said, glancing at the administrator.

"why would we send away a perfectly fine omega?

Since you already have had a heat, and you have been here for about three months, you will soon be having a new one.

Im pretty sure some alpha will like your skinny arse well enough to get you pregnant, dont you?

You have learned enough to know how to lure the alphas in, havent you?"�

An ugly smile crosses Stans face, before he turns around.

"the cleaning crews base is in the basement in this building, Im sure you can get there by yourself just fine."

 

He quickly gets in the new routine.

Waking up early, tidying his room and the common areas, grabbing a quick breakfast, then cleaning offices and other common areas alongside the rest of the morning crew.

He then takes a short break, waiting for the afternoon crew, and then continues working until dinner.

After dinner, he goes for a long walk trying to calm down his brain, before falling in bed.

Well, not the bed, because scum like him doesnt deserve beds.

He curls up in a corner, away from the door, trying to force himself to sleep.

 

Forcing himself doesnt work, long walks doesnt work, even longer walks doesnt work, skipping walks doesnt work.

Sleep is hard.

Not eating lunch makes him nauseous, making him eat less dinner, making him eat less breakfast.

Soon he looks as skinny and sick as he did when he got here, but he doesnt care.

The doctor tells him to get a grip, that he never will get an alpha to spend his heat with him looking like a dead man walking.

But the bloodwork shows no signs of an upcoming heat, so he really cant be bothered.

He doesnt deserves an alpha when in heat anyway.

 

Keith tries to talk to him, to get him to tell him whats wrong, but he doesnt want Keith to know.

Then he will lose his only friend, his only light in this world.

Not that he deserves a friend, but he has gotten used to talk to other people, so he wants to keep Keith for as long as possible.

When Keith comments on him loosing weight, he tries to eat more when Keith is around.

He forces himself to eat more than he should and ends up vomiting it all up later.

This can only work for so long, and one night he faints when trying to leave the cafeteria after dinner.

Keith and Hans bring him to his room, places him on his bed, and makes him promise to tell everything the next day.

 

_The meadow is dark._

_Its in the middle of the night, moon and stars hidden behind dark clouds._

_The earth spins fast, so he sits down._

_His whole body shakes, pain running up his spine._

_Wining he closes his eyes._

"I _m here... just relax, I will look after you..."�_

_The shaking stops, the earth slows down._

_But the pain stays, spreading throw-out his body._

_Somehow thats okay, he just lays there calmly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before I wrote this chapter, I read trough this story from the start.  
> and I found quite a lot of grammar error..  
> some, because the program on my pc isnt working perfectly with this program, but some of them are simple mistakes I overlooked before posting.  
> so, I am going to go through every chapter to try to fix as much as possible.  
> but, since I wont change anything about the story, Im just going to make a quick not at each chapter that I have edited and why.  
> i would love comments, though! 
> 
> edit:  
> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain violens and non-con/rape and mastrubation  
> edit:  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

9

 

Waking up the next day is hard.

Despite spending the night in bed, and sleeping almost twice as much as normally, he feels like a wreck.

He takes a shower trying to wake up, but his eyelids are still heavy when he enters the cafeteria tent.

Sitting down beside Keith and Hans, he grumbles another thank you for last nights help, and focuses on his food.

Eating it fast, since he is running late.

And before they can ask him anything, he is out the door and on his way to work.

He pushes himself to work as fast and hard as he does every day, ignoring the dizziness and cold sweat breaking out.

After the double shift, he nearly stumbles inn to the cafeteria, knowing he will have to talk to Keith afterwards.

There is no way he can get out of that promise, and a part of him is glad that its over soon.

He will be alone and will not have to pretend to be normal around his friends anymore.

So, after their meal is finished, he tells them everything.

"I...  after I talked to you, Keith, I told the same thing to the doctor.

About the sickness I had in the village before I came here, and he agreed that it was a heat.

He got angry with me for not telling him before, almost yelled at me, and then the administrator, Stan, told me that I had to work double shifts to make up for the time I was lazing around.

Since my body could go in to heat, I was healthy enough to work."

Hans looks furious.

"how on earth is it fair that you have to work double shifts!

That is just so stupid, as if you begged to be released from work in the first place...

And your body may produce heats, but that doesnt make you healthy!

No offense, but you dont exactly look good..."�

He tries to explain to Hans why he doesnt deserve better.

That nobody forgets about their heats, about how stupid he is that he didnt even understand he had a heat in the first place.

But Hans just shakes his head, mumbling about having a serous conversation with somebody, and that scares him.

What if Hans goes to talk to them, then they certainly will send him away, and he doesnt want that!

So, he begs Hans not to tell anyone, begs him to let it be, promising him to eat more and sleep more and then everything will be okay.

Hans just looks at him, refusing to answer.

 

Through it all, Keith just sits there, looking at nothing.

"Stan... Stan wouldnt say that... he wouldnt do something like that, would he??"�

Keith looks at him, then at Hans, and then back at him again.

"he... he must have misunderstood! The doctor must have lied to him, said that you hided it on purpose... he would never... " �

With wild eyes, Keith suddenly jumps to his feet and runs out of the cafeteria.

Shaking his head, Hans tells him that Keith have a crush on Stan and refuses to see the guy like he really is.

When he asks what he means about how Stan really is, he shakes his head again and says it is for the best that he dont know.

Ones again confused, he goes to bed with his head full of thoughts.

Then he jumps up, remembering his place, and curls up in his usual corner.

 

Nothing really changes after the conversation with Keith and Hans.

The routine continues, but not having to hide how tired he is or how difficult it is to eat enough, makes it easier.

Keith even tries to help him with the food, picking out his food for him and bringing it to him at the table.

So, all he has to do, is to try to eat what is put in front of him.

As his body ones again gets used to this amount of work, he feels a kind of relief.

Cleaning is easy, he doesnt have to think to do it.

Eating is easier, eating what Keith tells him to eat.

Sleep isnt easier, but he never expects it to be.

No need to learn new stuff, no need to contemplate said new stuff, no new ideas taking his sleep at night.

Just waking up, doing the same stuff as yesterday, and go to bed.

And repeat.

 

Weeks goes by like this, the only breaks in his routine the trips to the doctor.

He used to like his trips to the doctor, his kind words and gentile touch soothing.

But now, the doctor barely talks to him.

Just takes his tests, looks at him with disgust and orders him around.

He just takes it, he knows the doctor is right.

Not telling about his heat, letting them down.

And then losing his hard-earned weight again, making no alpha wanting him.

Not that the blood works show any sign of an oncoming heat.

At the last appointment, the doctor said he had to gain weight again, or his body would break down.

That his body showed signs of severe stress, that he had to calm down and rest some, letting his body...

Well, thats not possible when he works double shifts.

But he doesnt tell the doctor that, just goes back to work as usual.

Everything will be fine, he managed for all those years with Father, there is no way his body will give up on him now.

 

_He is back in Fathers house, scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush._

_"_ _you lazy scum"�_

_Father yells and kick him in the stomach._

_"_ _thinking you are better than us, thinking you deserve more than this."�_

_He scrambles up on his knees and hands again, continuing to clean._

" _little boy... pretending to be something he is not..."�_

_The sheriff smiles, ruffling his hair._

_Something is dripping down his face, something wet, something red._

_"_ _look at him, crying like the looser he is! Thinking he is like us, like he really meant something!!"�_

_Hans and Keith barks, laughing so hard they have to hold on to each other to not fall._

_Blood turns the floor slippery, making it difficult to clean, and everybody just laughs of him._

_Looking around, he can see everyone there._

_Laughing faces all around._

_He gives up on the cleaning, curls in on himself, making himself as small as possible._

Blinking awake, he slowly uncurls and looks around.

He is in his normal sleeping place, behind the bed, but he doesnt remember how he got here.

Shaking his head over that strange dream, he starts his day as he normally does.

But the reminder of how he doesnt belong here, that he really isnt good enough to live here, stays in his mind for days.

 

He tries to work even harder, cleaning faster at work, and cleaning the bathroom every morning with a toothbrush.

This shows just how much of a looser he is, because within a week, he moves slower and slower at work.

Without him noticing, the other omegas he works with takes over some of his tasks, he is just surprised when he finally is done for the day.

Eating is dull, everything tastes the same, but he finishes his plates every time.

He cant understand why he was so happy about lifting weights, is so boring and the dumbbells just gets heavier each week.

Taking a shower afterwards feels like just a waste, he will get dirty again tomorrow so why bother.

And since everything takes longer than before, somehow, he doesnt have time for all this grooming all the time!

 

The next day, at dinner, Hans tells them that he is going in to heat in a couple of weeks.

It is strange to se him almost giddy, it reminds him of Mira.

He tries to smile and listen to the conversation between Keith and Hans.

But it is hard to focus on anything, he really misses Mira, and why does Paige look so lost?

For what feels like forever, all Keith and Hans talks about it heats and alphas and babies and it is like Mira all over again.

The differences being that he now knows what they talk about, and that its two boys talking about getting pregnant.

Which still doesnt feel quite right with him.

So instead of staying behind after dinner like he normally does, he goes for a walk before his workout.

Or, more stands outside and look at the stars than walking.

But who cares.

Not him.

Hans leaves for the Friday party like the rest of the omegas, and the next morning Keith tells them that an alpha had picked him out.

So, Hans was set for his heat, hopefully his last one for a long time!

He tries to be as excited as Keith but ends up just smiling at him.

Thats better than what Paige manages, she just leaves the table without a word.

Keith doesnt look hurt about it, in fact he looks sad when he sees her go.

Something is definitely going on there.

But for now, he has a house to clean!

No work doesnt mean no work, just different work!

Or something...

His head hurt so bad.

Maybe he can get some extra sleep this weekend?

 

One morning he sees blood on his toothbrush, and when he looks around there is some droplets of blood in the places he has already cleaned.

Inspecting his hands, he sees that the skin is red and sore, and broken on several places.

They are also trembling.

And he is dizzy.

When was the last time he wasnt dizzy?

He looks in the mirror, sees the hollow eyes, the too long hair falling on his face, the skin covered in a thin layer of sweat.

Taking a deep breath, he realizes he cant continue like this.

No, he doesnt belong here.

Yes, he is a scum, a wasted space, a stupid boy pretending to be something more.

But he is really not good at pretending, when he does this to his body, is he?

Putting the toothbrush away, he cleans up the blood, and takes a long warm shower.

At breakfast, he eats slow, savoring every taste, enjoying the talk around the table.

When he comes in to work, he smiles to the other omegas, and focuses on doing a good job.

He eats his lunch outside in the sun, smiling to the afternoon shift and tries to do a good job for the rest of the day.

At dinner, he listens to Keith and Paige talk about some new alpha or something, before he stumbles to bed as early as possible.

The next day, when he wakes up in the bed, he decides that if he is going all in and pretend that he belongs here, he is using his bed from now on.

 

Its not that everything gets easy after that, not by far, but he doesnt let his thoughts about himself decide his days.

Well, he tries to not let his thoughts decide his days.

Sometimes he even manages, enjoying a big meal, laughing with Keith or listening to Hans talking about "his" alpha...

The alpha that had fed him, cleaned him, murmured filthy words in his ear and hopefully bred him full of babies.

Hans was still giddy, with dreamy eyes and a cute blush whenever he talked about the heat, but he never talked about having anything to do with the alpha in the future.

All he dreamed about was a baby.

The alpha was just a tool to get that baby, a tool to "live his life to the fullest"� as Stan would have said.

 

Other days, like this one, everything goes west.

He didnt get any sleep last night, at breakfast Hans gets suddenly ill and run out of the tent vomiting and making eating impossible for him.

Then he almost forgets about his doctors appointment and have to run there, making him sweaty and cold.

And then the doctor asks him about masturbation for some reason!

He is talking about stress relive, about ways that may help him calm down.

The doctor still complains about his lack of progress, that his body will shut down soon if nothing changes.

It almost feels like the doctor cares but being ordered to go home and masturbate dont feel okay.

So, he is definitely not going to do as the doctor ordered!

 

_Hands stroking all over his body, leaving fire in their wake._

_Up his spine, around his waist, grabbing his tights._

_It feels good, warmth filling his groin._

_Murmuring voices, he cant understand, makes him unsure._

_Multiple hands, more than one person, continues to search his body, holding, pushing, pulling, grabbing..._

_He doesnt like it, but the warmth in his groin doesnt leave._

_Lips on his neck, teeth on the inside of his tights._

_He is trembling, out of lust or fear he doesnt know._

_The warmth continues, somebody touches his member, lips engulfing it._

_Someone pushes inside him, it hurts, it feels so good..._

_He is so confused, shaking his head saying no, pushing back to get more inside him..._

 

Shaking awake, heart pumping hard in his chest.

Uncurling himself, he tries to catch his breath.

Not liking what that dream hinted about, several hands too many involved.

He barely registers that his heart is not the only thing pumping hard, before his hand sneaks inside his pants.

All thoughts of anything leaves his head for a handful of minutes.

With a trembling body he ones again tries to calm his heart, this time with success.

Disgusted with himself and his own reaction, he decides that this was the last time he would give in to these urges.

This cannot possible be normal, nothing good can come out of this kind of behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter have been giving me headaches.  
> Getting from where the last chapter ended, to where I want this story to go in the future, and in the right speed.  
> That turned out to be harder than expected.  
> But I think I made an okay chapter in the end.
> 
> hope you like it!
> 
> edit:  
> WARNINGS:  
> the next chapter will contain mastrubation


	10. Chapter 10

10.

 

But of course, he ends up breaking that resolve quite often.

In the beginning its just when he wakes up with a raging member, an embarrassing thing in the middle of the night.

Then his mind starts wandering in the evening, hands moving without a second thought.

He discovers that the doctor was right, about the stress relive.

A quick release calms him down enough so he can get a good night sleep, and soon its a part of his routine.

Thoughts about him not deserving this is pushed back, his newfound pleasure overriding it.

With the extra hours of sleep, he feels more refreshed in the mornings.

Slowly he starts to feel better.

Eating gets a little easier, giving him more energy at work.

Cleaning is easy.

It reminds him of Father, and his time in the village.

And for the first time, he doesnt long back to that time.

He knows he doesnt belong here where he is, but as long as they let him stay here, he will enjoy it.

That way, he will have some good memories to think of when he is wherever he will be after being kicked out from here.

Listening to the other omegas cleaning around him talking about alphas and their dreams of babies, a small smile spreads on his face.

If he is lucky, maybe he one day will feel his stomach grow...

 

Its early morning the first time he sees Paige coming out from a house close to the gate.

He thinks it is strange, since he was told that house was of limit for omegas, but she hurries away so he cant ask her about it.

And when he tries to ask her at dinner that night, she looks at him with steel in her eyes.

"I was never there, you must have confused me with someone else!"

He knows she is lying, she knows he know she is lying, but he just nods his head.

If she wants to keep it a secret, he will keep it with her.

But as the weeks go bye, he sees her falling apart.

Its no big things, but small details he notices because he looks for them.

She is slowly losing weight.

Her skin goes from healthy looking to almost gray, and her eyes gets hollow.

Keith can also see this, but he refuses to talk about it, so he feels lost.

At the same time, he himself gets better.

Eating more and more for every week that goes by, even bringing himself some food to eat before his morning walks, slowly he gains some weight.

And then the doctor orders him to exercise more.

There is no more nice words or soft touches from him anymore, just short orders or brisk comments.

"you have to work on your body omega, not just eat like a pig, or you will get fat! No alpha wants a fat omega!"

Okay.

So, eat enough to gain weight, then exercise to los it again.

He is used to be confused, so he tries.

But it is hard to find time, with double shifts and his shores at the house.

Its not like he deserves more, they have really been nice to him even if isnt worth it.

But on the other side, he doesnt want to lose sleeping hours or eat less.

He really wants to be able to please an alpha, so he needs to make this work!

Finally, he decides to ask Keith for help.

So, after dinner that night, they set up a plan for him, with work and exercise and bedtime and everything.

It turns out that, although tight, it is possible.

He starts lifting weights in the evenings, instead of going for long walks, and ads in another meal right before he goes to bed.

So, now his days starts with a short walk in high speed, food, work, food, work, food, weightlifting, food, bed.

 

That doesnt leave much time for hanging out with friends, but usually he spends some time with Keith after dinner.

Sometime Paige joins them to.

Hans is gone, moved to housing for pregnant omegas.

Keith is angsty, waiting for his own heat.

Sometimes it seems like he fears it, but usually he puts on a big smile and tells him about the wonders of heat.

Since Keith have had a lot of heats, and even a couple in here, he has a lot of stories to tell.

Alphas to talk about.

Memories to share.

Keith have stars in his eyes, when he talks about the wonders of life, the alphas.

Strong alphas giving strong genes to the next generation.

Beautiful alphas, passionate alphas, powerful alphas.

How to pick the best alpha, to get the best genes for your babies.

Keith even shares some tips with him, on how to get said alpha interested!

And he is listening closely.

Wanting to learn about this new world, the world of selecting and seducing.

Making strong and healthy babies.

 

On the nights Paige joins them, heats and alphas are never mentioned.

They talk about food, and workouts, and other omegas, but never heats.

He can understand that, Paige have yet to have a heat in the sanctuary, and she have been here for about one and a half year now.

And that again makes him think about his own missing heat.

It has been about 6 months since he came here, and there are no signs of a heat coming.

These nights, he leaves for his workout earlier, itching to get away from that feeling.

He understands now, why people feels uneasy around Paige, but at the same time he feels bad for her.

Sometimes when she comes out from that house in the mornings, that house she never has been in, there are other omegas with her.

Broken down omegas with no life in their eyes.

And for each week that goes by, Paige looks more and more like them.

 

The doctor tells him that the tests are good enough, and that he is cleared to go to this weeks mingle party!

This time, it is him that are giddy.

He can barely sit still while they eat dinner, wanting to do everything he can to be prepared for this Friday.

Keith just laughs at him, but he just laughs with him.

First thing first, appearance.

He needs to cut his hair, get new clothes, scrub his skin, brush his teeth, -wait.

Calm down.

So.

The next day, the day before the big day, Keith brings him to a guy that fixes his hair to perfection.

Or so Keith says.

Then, they get him some new clothes, some products for his new hairdo and face, and even a stick to use under his arms, so he smells good.

At the day of the party, its difficult to eat.

He is rushing home after work, taking a warm shower and using his new products.

Pulling his clothes on, and almost falling down the stairs on his way out. 

Nervously, he makes his way to the party alongside Keith, who looks even more nervous himself.

He wants to harass Keith with all kinds of questions, about what to do and what the alphas are gone do and all kinds of things he already knows the answer to.

But Keith will start his heat in the next couple of days, and he looks terrified.

Last night Keith had admitted that he was in love with Stan.

Stan is an alpha, but a low power alpha, and not an option for Keith.

Low power alphas are not allowed to come to the mingle party, so even if Keith wanted to make a baby with Stan, he cant.

Keith will have to seduce another alpha to share the heat with him, shoving his feelings to the back of his mind for a week.

 

When they enter the party room, his head spins.

There is so many smells.

So strong smells.

Some bad smells, some wonderful smells.

Alphas.

Looking around, alphas and omegas everywhere.

Some are sitting around low tables talking, some are walking around, some hang at the bar, and a few omegas are dancing.

He follows Keith to the bar, wanting something to hold on to.

Keith hands him a beer, winks at him, and then he is gone.

But he is not alone for long.

A smell of woodland and rain surrounds him, making him close his eyes and breath in deep.

Rumbling laughter makes him jump and turn around, and there he is.

He is tall, with broad shoulders, blond hair and green eyes.

"hey there, Im Brad!"�

The alpha smiles at him.

"I...Im Quinn?� he whispers back.

Laughter ones again rumbles through the alpha, and he relaxes a little.

The rest of the night he spends talking to Brad.

Brad is 24, he works at the wall as a guard, and he likes to read.

And Brad laughs a lot.

And loud.

And long.

When its time for this weeks omegas going in to heat to be presented, he almost misses it.

He is so engrossed in Brad, so he jumps when the matchmaker starts speaking.

All the alphas go in to the next room, and when Brad leaves him he feels alone.

Shaking his head, breathing in air that is not Brads own smell, he has to smile at himself.

Mooning over the first alpha that talks to him, like a totally innocent omega.

Wait.

Well, its not like he have to act innocent just because he is, is it?

Before he can think any longer about this, an arm sneaks around his waist.

Alpha Brad and his nice smell are back.

Before the party is over, Brad has sniffed his neck making him moan, and pushed him against a wall thoroughly making out with him.

They are outside sharing small kisses, when Keith finally turns up shaking and almost in tears.

He gives a quick kiss goodbye to Brad and drags Keith along towards their part of the sanctuary.

 

Keith caught himself a really nice alpha, a little older one with bright eyes and a calm presence around him.

He is at least as big as the younger alphas, but not as broody.

They had been talking a while before the selection, and he had wanted to hold Keiths hand afterwards.

It sounds like the perfect alpha for Keith, and he probably is, in all the aspects except love.

They end up talking the rest of the night, but somehow, they never get around to talk about Brad.

After breakfast, Keith packs up and goes to his heat room, and leave him alone.

Or, almost alone.

Paige turns up, just to sit there quiet beside him.

Keiths heat week goes bye fast, and really slow.

The days runs away, him lost in dreams of Brad while he is working.

But at night, when he should sleep and have nice dreams about Brad, his mind wont turn of.

For all the time he and Keith have spent talking about alphas, what to look for and how to seduce them, he still knows its not up to him.

What the alpha says, alpha gets.

If the alpha doesnt want an omega, there is nothing the omega can do about that.

But if the alpha wants, there is nothing the omega can do about that either.

So...

After meeting Brad, and liking the evening they spent together, things becomes more real.

Will he be ready next Friday?

If Brad want him?

If Brad doesnt want him?

If some other alpha wants him?

He knows he have to say yes, but will he be ready?

So, he spent a lot of time he should be sleeping, contemplating and not crying and sometimes giggling.

After work on Thursday, he skips his workout an goes to bed right after dinner.

Touching himself, he thinks about the things he likes about Brad.

That nice smell, he can sniff it all night long.

And that warm laughter, he could listen to it all night.

Those green eyes... no wait blue eyes... no wait green eyes

Huffing he removes his hand, turn around and scream in to his pillow.

 

_Ones again, he is back in the meadow._

_Everything is calm._

_The sun is shining, the sky pale blue._

_He is laying down, but not in the grass._

_He is laying against something firm but soft._

_Something warm, smelling intoxicating._

_He turns around to push his nose closer to this smell, wanting more and more._

_The something he is laying against rumbles in laughter, strong arms coming around him holding him close._

_Alpha..._

_Looking up, he sees deep blue eyes looking back at him._

_Calmly he puts his head back down on his alphas chest, closing his eyes and flowing away..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain non-con /rape


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been without internett for some time, so I have not been able to post any new chapters.  
> but, at the same time, I have had plenty of time to write, so there will be some chapters coming fast now!
> 
> edit:  
> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will be full of sex

11

 

He is not so nervous this Friday, but he is alone, since Keith is recovering from his heat.

Entering the party location, he is ones again bombarded with smells.

Looking around, he can't see anybody he knows, or if he is being honest with himself, he can't see Brad.

He takes a seat at the bar, asking for a beer, looking around at everything that happens.

A broody looking alpha eyes him up and down, making him fell uneasy.

Soon enough, the alpha comes up to him, and without a word he grabs his neck.

A nose dives down, sniffing him greedy.

This feels nothing like when Brad did the same thing last week, but he stays still and let him.

What alpha wants, alpha gets.

Its for the survival of the human race.

The hand on his neck moves down to his lower back, and he is pushed of the barstool.

Still without a word, he is guided towards a corner booth, where two more alphas already sit.

"wow! Look what Danny found! He is new, isn't he?"�

One of the guys says.

The alpha only nod, one of the other barks a laugh.

He soon finds himself between the wall and the alpha, said alpha not even looking at him anymore.

The guys talk among themselves, laughing and drinking beer at a disturbing speed.

None of them looks his way, none of the talks to him.

Or about him.

He feels so small.

But, as the good omega that he is, he just sits there.

A couple of hours later, he catches the eyes of Brad.

Brad looks kind of disappointed, then turns around and walks away.

Soon after that, he is lifted and placed across a lap, and hands starts to roam his body.

The two other guys sitting with then just continues to talk, while the alpha leans down to his neck and sniff.

Suddenly he can feel teeth, and the alpha bites down making him jump.

It hurts.

One hand is now under his shirt, the other down his pant grouping his as.

He can feel the alpha's member sticking in his thighs, and when the alpha manhandles him, so he sits with he back against the alphas chest, he gets kind of scared.

Is he going to take him here and now, right in front of his friends and everybody else?

Humping up against him repeatedly, the alpha grunts, and switches between sniffing and biting at his shoulder and neck.

One hand around his waist keeps him firmly in place, the other starts to open his pants.

"I can't wait until you get your heat, I bet your pretty little ass will look so good around my dick."�

A hand goes down in his underwear, groping his member.

To his surprise, he can feel himself grow hard.

He is blushing, trying to not look around, hoping nobody catches what's going on.

With a little adjusting, the alphas member glides in his crack, only the two pants between them.

The alpha is grunting with every thrust now, and uses more force making him almost tumbling of.

Panting in his ear, whispering dirty words and growling, the alpha gets more frantic in his moves.

He can feel his own breath speeding up, warmth building in his stomach. 

The hand in his underwear moves in sync with the trusts, making him dizzy, and he forgets where they are.

Suddenly the alpha stops and removes his hand from his member, only to open his own pants and grab a hold of his own member.

His grunts get higher, the alpha obviously pumping himself, and before long the alpha stills and he can feel his shirt getting wet.

 

He is so embarrass.

Not only did he get humped in the middle of the party, for everybody to see.

But he was obviously not enough for the alpha, since the man finished himself off like that.

He couldn't even satisfy an alpha, that is how lousy of an omega he is.

The alpha more or less throws him out of the booth, and he hurries to the bathroom.

He tries not to cry, grabbing some paper towels to try and remove some of the semen.

Afterwards, he sneaks out and goes home.

 

The morning after, he spends a long time in the shower.

But no amount of scrubbing makes him feel clean.

Looking at his neck in the mirror, he can see tooth marks and purple bruising almost covering the whole area.

He feels used, and then embarrassed about that feeling since he is born just to please alphas.

So, there is really no reason to feel dirty or used, just embarrassed.

He really is lowest of the low, not even enough for a simple thing like that.

 

After a quick breakfast, he almost runs away when Keith looks his way.

He doesn't want to spend time with his friend now, he needs time to sort out his thoughts and feelings.

So, he spends the morning cleaning everywhere in the house, trying to keep all thoughts away.

Witch means he ends up just as confused at lunch time...

But Keith pops down beside him with his own food, so this time he doesn't have the opportunity to run away.

After talking about Keith's heat for some time, the guy turns towards him and say just one word.

"spill..."�

So, he does that.

He starts off with telling him about Brad and his feelings after that first party, about the fact that alphas can do whatever they want, despite all the work omegas lay down to get what they want.

"that's the difficult thing about this alpha omega hierarchy.

Omegas want to get the best possible alpha to breed them, it's their instinct.

Alphas doesn't have that instinct.

So logically, it seems like the omegas should choose who they want.

But, the alphas instincts are to breed as many omegas as possible, so in theory the can settle for any omega available.

Or even regular people, they can even have their own kids with a normal woman!

Therefore, it's important to keep the alphas interested, to give them all that they want.

After all, without them, there will be no babies!�

Keith looks at me with a bittersweet smile on his lips.

"Besides, all though we omegas are independent and can life a good life without an alpha, there is no denial that we thrive and are happier with an alpha to take care of us.

Not to overlook their amazingness and powerfulness and total superiority."�

There is a big grin on Keith's face now, his eyes sparkling.

"who in their right mind would stay satisfied without their guardian, their protector and savior!

It's not their strong arms or enhanced senses that make them at the top of the hierarchy, but their brains and power.

They should run the world, they certainly are more suitable to the job that normal people, and I am sure that one day they will rise to the power and make the world a better place."

He laughs a bit and shakes his head good heartily over Keith's wooing.

They just sit there for some time, thinking of alphas and all their gloriousness...

Shy smiles fill their faces.

Then he tells Keith about last night, about the humping in the middle of the party, about his lack of ability the finish the alpha. 

Keith's smile turns to a growl.

"Danny, was it? The alphas are not allowed to do sexual things at the party, but bring the omegas to their home, or make an appointment for some other time.

But this Danny guy are notorious like that.

He does that to a lot of the new omegas, and says it is to make them remember their place.

Humiliating the omegas to make sure they know that the alphas call the shots.

It's the first time I have heard of him finishing, normally he just stops after a while at tells the omega that they weren't good enough.

Alphas are usually amazing, but sometimes you get these lousy alphas that just misuses their power to feel better with them self.

Please understand that this is not how alphas normally behaves..."�

Keith looks at him with a pleading face.

With a small smile, he nods that he understands.

They don't stay long in the cafeteria after that, not wanting to dwell at that topic.

Instead, they go to the gym together, lifting weights and feeling powerful.

Well, a little more powerful at least!

 

As the days goes, Keith grows quiet.

Looking at nothing, barely eating and dropping out of conversations as if he forgets that they are talking.

He doesn't say anything, understanding that Keith is worried about the outcome of his heat.

Keith's biggest dream is to have babies.

He used to talk and talk about the wonders of pregnancies and children.

But, not only have Keith had two heats without conceiving, making him nervous if he can get pregnant at all.

Keith will also have a baby with another alpha then the one he loves, not making his own feelings easier to cope with.

He knows Keith have a secret dream of a future life with Stan, no matter how unlikely that is.

So, Keith's two biggest dreams, babies and love, are excluding each other.

Not that he really has a choice between them, destiny and responsibility and such.

Keith just have to make the best out of what he has.

 

They don't talk more of what happened to him at the party last Friday, and he tries not to think about it too much himself.

But like always, if you try to not think about something, you think about it a lot.

During the days he can put the thoughts aside, focusing on his work and on sheering up Keith, the problems comes at night.

Lying in bed, willing sleep to come, all he can think about is Danny and his friends.

It is so confusing, the mixed feelings of hating to be used, and the need for an alpha to do as he pleases.

The need to please an alpha is surfacing for the first time ever, and only makes him more confused.

Not that mixed feeling is new to him anymore, but its been a while since he felt this confused, and it makes him cranky.

He is tossing and turning, sleep not finding him until early morning.

The newfound pleasure he has used to wind down is absent, making him even more irritated.

Every time he tries to stroke himself, all he can se behind closed eyes are Danny, his hand reminding him of the alphas hand.

All thoughts of pleasure are gone from his mind after that.

So, when Friday comes around, there are two kind of gloomy omegas that enters the party.

They don't even make it to the bar, before Keith's heat partner show up with a smile.

Keith manages a small smile himself, looking both resigned and content at the same time.

They walk away, and he goes for the bar like last Friday.

Anxious he looks around, but Danny is not in sight, and no other alpha looks at him for now.

Calming down a little, he enjoys his beer in peace.

Soon after, Brad shows up with an unsure smile and soft eyes.

He smiles back, and before he knows it, he has a nose under his ears sniffing happily. 

Brad's nice smell surrounds him, and the last of his nerves disappear.

They spent this party talking, like last time, but there is something different about Brad.

The alpha doesn't laugh as much, his eyes darts around like he is looking for something, and he is always touching him in some way.

A hand on his lower back, an arm around his shoulder, fingers intervened.

He doesn't mind Brad doing this, in fact he quite like it. 

The thought of a possessive alpha makes his stomach flutter.

Being hold close in strong arms.

His alpha growling to other alphas coming too close, even if said alphas doesn't look his way.

That really shouldn't sound so hot!

 

Another thing that is different then last time, is that Brad drinks a lot of beer.

It turns out that a drunk Brad is even more clingy, emotional unstable and it becomes almost impossible to understand what he says.

Yelling at an omega passing them, Brad feel, too close.

Almost crying in his neck mumbling about the unjust in life.

Grabby hands trying to hold him close but loosing grip or only getting hold of his shirt.

This kind of alpha is not hot, at least he doesn't think so.

Luckily, Brad himself realize that he is too drunk to bring him home.

So instead they make an appointment for him to meet Brad the next evening.

Keith is nowhere to bee seen, so he walks home alone.

Thinking about what Brad would want to do the next


	12. Chapter 12

 12

 

_Soft hands slide under his shirt, skimming his stomach and chest._

_Kisses on his shoulder, his neck, behind his ear, along the jawline._

_Full lips brushing his own, slowly, again and again._

_A body leaning over him, closing him in, gently pushing him down in the mattress._

_Skin meets skin, fluid motions all over his body, making him shudder._

_They are rolling around in the bed, tasting, touching, smelling, giggling._

_His whole body tingles, his toes curls and he float away..._

 

He wakes up feeling wonderful.

A stomach full of butterflies, a head full of dreams and memories from the time with the sheriff.

Why is he thinking of the sheriff now?

Brad is nothing like the sheriff, and he is not in heat.

Heat!

He wonders how it would feel to spend his heat with Brad.

Maybe he would find that out one day?

Brad could give him the perfect genes for his babies...

Little Brads with his eyes running around...

Giggling in the shower, he shakes his head.

Silly little dreams for silly little omegas.

He is not a silly little omega, so he will have to get himself together!

 

But his smile is still huge when he enters the cafeteria for breakfast.

Keith is there, tired but content.

The alpha from Keith's heat had brought him home and kept him awake all night and now Keith was just grabbing some food before he was going to bed.

It had been a nice night, calmer than under his heat, but also softer and slower.

Keith is glad he was able to satisfy the alpha ones again and had enjoyed his night.

 

He himself feels even more restless after that conversation, excited and a little bit nervous before the night a head.

So, he spends a long time at the gym, trying to burn of some steam.

After a couple of hours, he is soaking wet in sweat, and his muscles burns delicious.

He tries to take a nap before getting ready for his meeting but fails big time.

So, after a long warm shower, and a far too long time fretting about his look, he has nothing more to do than wait.

Finally, it's time for him to leave.

He is meeting with Brad outside the party location, since that is as close as he has ever been to the alpha quarters.

The alpha part of the sanctuary is closed off for omegas, no real omega would wander around in there alone.

Brad smiles when he sees him, kissing him on the chin.

Taking his hand, Brad draggs him along to a little garden hidden close to the small gate between the alpha and omega side.

Under a big old tree, they sit down on a bench, looking each other in the eyes.

Slowly Brad leans inn, kissing him sweetly.

"sorry for last night, I didn't mean to drink that much."�

Brad looks a little embarrassed.

He just smiles at him and leaning in for some more kisses.

After a while, Brad pulls him in to his lap, so he has one knee on each side of Brad's own.

The kisses get more heated, small moans coming from them both.

Tightening his arms around him, Brad begins to kiss him down his jaw and to his neck.

"let's go to my place"�

Brad whispers in his ear, and slowly they make their way there.

As soon as they get inside Brads room, he is pressed up against the door, Brads warm body against him making him moan.

Clothes is pulled of and thrown around, hands roaming wild.

Brad grabs his ass and lifts him up, making him throw his legs around the alpha's waist.

Both their members are hard, and gliding beside each other when they move their hips.

One of Brads hands moves down to his crack, and the alpha groans high.

"good, you are so wet for me!

It's like you're in heat." 

Brad buries his nose in his neck, sniffing and puffing and whining.

"you smell so good! But you don't smell like heat.

Maybe you are in the early stages of preheat?"�

A finger is busy working him open, making his head spin wildly.

"I can't wait to you get in your heat for real, you are gone be so wet...

So good for me..."�

Grunting, Brad presses two fingers inside him, and it burns a little.

But the alpha doesn't slow down, pushing them in fast and scissoring him to make room for himself.

"good, I got to have you...

I can't wait any longer!"�

The fingers leave, and Brads member push inside.

It hurts.

Brad is so big, so long, and he just continues to push.

Finally, Brad is fully inside, and stills so he can get used to the fullness.

Soon the alpha withdraws a little, before pushing in again.

After some minutes with slow movements, the pain is totally gone, and it feels good.

Really good...

He dives in kissing Brad hard.

The alpha deepens his thrusts, pulling up until only the head is inside, before slamming back in hard.

He moans, throwing his head back with closed eyes.

Brad grunts and moves faster and faster, desperate to find his release.

He can feel his own release approach, his hands grabbing hard at the alphas shoulders.

Then he feels something grow at the root of Brads member, growing wider and wider, before it gets so wide that the alpha can't pull out anymore.

With a low growl, and a last hard push, he can feel the alphas semen fill him up.

That is enough for himself to release, making him whine and shake, eyes rolling in his head.

After they calms down some, Brad puts his head on his shoulder and laughs a little.

"that was maybe not the cleverest thing I have done.

Knotting you up against the wall...

Now we are stuck here, there is no way I can carry you to my bed with these jelly legs!"�

He wonders what the alpha means, but soon learn that the part of Brad that grow and locked them together is still so big that the alpha can't get loose.

Knotting was probably what that was, he would have to ask Keith about that.

The alpha carefully lowers them to the floor, holding him as close as possible to try and not hurt him more than necessary.

It still hurts some, stretching his hole even more.

But when they are sitting down, Brad holding him close and nuzzling his neck again, everything feels fine.

 

He is almost asleep, when he can feel the alpha's member glide out of him.

Brad then make him stand up, before he follows himself, and then lead him to the bed.

He can feel the soreness in his bottom, and sleep wants to drag him down.

But Brad obviously have other plans, laying him on his back, and carefully climbing on top.

Kissing Brad still feels good, and when the alpha's lips leaves his to leave little kisses down to his neck, he all but melts.

The alpha continues down his chest and stomach, tasting him and making him shiver, before he settles himself between his legs.

"spread your legs up, I want to see you."�

Brad grabs a pillow and places it under his butt, before helping him to place his heels in the mattress, spreading his legs wide.

He blushes, feeling exposed, but the alpha just smiles at him.

"you are so beautiful.

And so, so wet.

My beautiful omega, soaking wet for me..." �

He is blushing even more now, but at the same time he feels so proud of his good omega body.

Looking at Brad is too much, so he closes his eyes and waits.

Suddenly there is something down there, a tongue his brain tells him, and all his breath leaves him.

Stars dances before his eyes, the alpha lapping at his hole and groaning.

"you taste so good, I can stay here all night just tasting!"�

One hand grabs his thigh, and the tongue pushes inside making him whine.

He had never thought putting your mouth down there would be nothing but disgusting.

But with the sounds Brad is making, moaning and groaning, the alpha obviously likes what he is doing.

And he himself definitely likes it, writhing around unable to lay still.

Then a finger joins the tongue, and he shouts!

His heart goes wild, his stomach is painted with his own semen.

Before he manages to catch his breath, Brad pushes in to him.

The alpha sets a brutal pace, hard and fast and everything he wants.

Not long after, the swelling of Brad's member starts again, the alpha grunts and slams in one more time before he fills him up ones again.

And this time, there is nothing that can stop him from falling asleep.

 

Some time later, he wakes up in the alphas arms.

One hand is carefully caressing his stomach, making a random pattern.

Brad's nose is buried deep in his neck, not sniffing but just bathing slow.

"filling you up with babies...

You will look so good with a swollen tummy, carrying my babies...

My beautiful omega�..."

Blushing again, a little whine slips over his lips, making the alpha aware that he is awake.

"hey...

How are you feeling?

Are you okay?"�

Turning around in the alpha's arms, he looks in to green eyes and smiles.

A small nod is all he manages to do, words having left him somehow.

Brad smiles back, before giving him a small kiss on his nose.

"go back to sleep."�

So, he does.

 

The next time he wakes up, it is to kisses behind his ear and a hard member against his lower back.

He feels sore, but he also feels a need for his alpha's member inside again, so he wiggles his bottom a little.

Groaning, the alpha pushes back, slow movements and soft noises filling the room.

In a long slow push, he is ones again filled up in that wonderful way, melting together like they have always been like this.

This time, there is no hurry.

No desperate need, just a gentle burning growing warmer and warmer.

They stay like this for a long time, bodies flushed together, grinding.

After what feels like hours, Brad growls while his member grow that wonderful lump, and locks in place.

Keening, he joins the alpha, shivering for what feels like forever.

 

They stay in bed, talking and coupling, almost all day.

Kissing and laughing, Brad telling him about his dream of one day being the chief of the guards.

Late afternoon, and they have finally made it out of bed and in to the shower.

The alpha steadying him, just standing is difficult now.

He is incredible sore, his legs wobbly, and he have never felt better.

Brad cleans him carefully, soaping him in and rinsing it off.

When they are both clean, the alpha dries him tenderly, before he puts his clothes on.

Their good byes take time, the alpha wanting just one more kiss and then one more.

But finally, they manage to go their separate ways, and he goes straight to the cafeteria, starving.

He hadn't thought about food all day, but now he feels like he can eat half a horse on his own.

With a big smile, he enters the tent, seeing Keith at their regular place.

His friend gives him s big smile back, seeing how happy he looks.

And this night, it's not difficult to tell his friend everything.

Well, maybe not everything, but a lot.

He finds out that the thing growing on the alphas member is called a knot, and when an alpha gets stuck in an omega it's called knotting.

The whole purpose of this knot, is to keep the semen inside, increasing the chances of pregnancies.

Male omegas can't get pregnant outside of heats, but alphas knot every time they release inside someone.

Or, as Keith says, every time they comes when they have sex.

He is learning new things all the time now, even small things like what stuff is called.

Finally, he doesn't feel stupid, or at least not as stupid as before.

So, he goes to bed full of new impressions, but not confused...

That's new too...

 

That night he dreams about little babies with green eyes running around, their smiling father looking out for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain mastrubation and violens


	13. Chapter 13

 13

 

The next week, all he can think about is Brad.

His smile...

His smell...

His laugh...

The broad shoulders and thick tights the alpha have, the green eyes looking deep into his soul.

And all the things they did together.

How wonderful the alpha had been, the power he had, and how Brad had taking control over him.

Taking him apart and putting him back together.

Devouring him, like Mira had said all that time ago.

He just laid back and took what the alpha gave.

Wait...

That's not how it should be.

He is the omega, he should take care of the alpha.

That would have to change, he would have to ask Keith about what to do.

Alphas are the strong protectors, there to take care of their omega.

They make sure the omega has everything they need, make sure the omega lives the life they should, and helps them make the right decisions.

An alpha is superior to omegas when it comes to the more difficult things in this world.

An omegas primary job, beside producing and taking care babies, is to make sure the alpha is pleased and satisfied.

To let the alpha take care of them and focusing on giving the alpha whatever they want.

Leave the heavy thinking and the heavy work to the alphas.

Besides, taking care of a home and children is more important for any omega than anything else.

Children...

Babies...

Ones again, he is daydreaming about little Brads running around.

He bet the alpha will be a perfect father!

Brad would play with them, help them learn the important stuff in life and generally take care of them.

He would be nothing like Father, he would make sure that the children would behave correct and not upsetting their father at all!

Father would never be satisfied with him, he knows that now, but Brad would never be like that.

The alpha would be careful and kind, like he always is.

Smiling when lying in bed that night, his thoughts stray from Brad the father, to Brad the lover.

The alpha did wonderful things to his body, making him shiver and gasp, or melting in to the mattress.

After that night spent with the alpha, he just can't get enough of pleasuring himself.

It's like something is turned on inside him, his member grows without context several times a day.

Often that is very embarrassing, but at night he has a really good time...

This night is no different, where he lays spent and panting with a big smile on his face.

Heavy eyes closes, the breathing evens out and he falls asleep.

 

_He is back in his meadow, laying in the grass._

_A smile lingers on his face, he feels good._

_Someone suddenly blocks out the sun, leaving him in the shadow._

_"_ _so, this is where you hide..._

_Lazing around like the scum you are..."�_

_Father looks at him with a nasty grin on his face, before kicking him in the stomach._

_He curls in on himself, not used to this kind of pain anymore._

" _get up, my dinner is late!"�_

_They are in the kitchen, Father is sitting in his chair with a beer._

_"_ _you lousy piece of shit, thinking you could get out of here._

_Like you are better than this."�_

_The stew looks done, so he turns around to grab a bowl for it._

_The noise of Father taking of his belt, makes him freeze._

_"_ _get over here..._

_I need to give you a lesson..."�_

_Blow after blow hits his body, he can feel skin breaking and he falls to his knee._

_"_ _get up, take what you have earned!"�_

_While he slowly gets his footing, Father turns his belt around, so when the next blow hits it's the buckle that hits him._

_"_ _trying to get away from me, from this village that has taken care of you for so long!"�_

_He can feel blood running down his back now, black dots dances in his eyes._

_Fear makes him whimper, Father have never been like this before._

" _even leaving the good sheriff, after all that he did for you."�_

_He is curled up in a small ball, hands covering his head, but its like Father is possessed._

_The buckle hits him in the ear, and the pain makes him scream._

_This is it, he is going to die._

_"_ _you wasted space, get the hell out of here..._

_You are ruining my floors!"�_

_Father kicks him in the head, and everything goes black._

 

He wakes up with a silent scream, thrashing around until he falls out of bed.

Blinking, he looks around trying to remember where he is.

A shaking hand drags over his face, trying to get rid of the sweat in his eyes.

Slowly he gets his breathing under control, and he sits up.

His sheets are ruined, but he can't really bother to change them.

Shivering, he stumbles to the bathroom, taking a shower.

Its in the middle of the night, but he just doesn't care if he wakes somebody up.

Why on earth did he dream about Father now?

There're months since last time he dreamed of his old life like this.

He feels like something bad is coming...

 

But after a nice breakfast, he manages to shake the feeling somewhat away, focusing on his new favorite daydream.

Brad, the alpha...

Strong arms protecting him, a big bulky body pressing in to the mattress, a laughing Brad with a baby in his lap.

Every night he bugs Keith about how to keep the alpha interested or tells him about how wonderful the alpha is.

He has become even more obsessed about heats and babies than Keith or even Mira.

Sleep have gotten difficult again, and the need for release have disappeared, but he decides that its just because he is missing the alpha so much.

Longing for his touch, for sleeping in his arms...

And its almost weekend again, before he realizes it's time for Keith's appointment to check if he is pregnant.

No wonder Keith had been quiet, here he had talked and talked about heats and babies, all the while Keith was nervously waiting.

He feels ashamed, anxious waiting for his friend to come for dinner.

But Keith never shows up.

Its Friday, so he has to leave for the party.

He can't let Brad down, even if he really wants to wait for his friend.

 

When he arrives at the party, he can't find Brad anywhere.

Then, he sees Danny sitting with his friends, with a wide grin on his face.

He turns around and walks as fast as he can to the toilets.

The alpha gets what the alpha wants, but he can't do this again.

Bile rising to his mouth, he takes deep breaths to calm himself down.

As an omega, he can't deny any alpha anything.

It for the best that he just follows his destiny.

So, after some time he slowly pops his head out to the main room.

Danny is nowhere to be seen, and to his delight Brad is standing at the bar looking around.

Timidly ha walks toward the alpha, suddenly unsure if the alpha wants to see him tonight.

It's not like he has to, just because they talked about it last weekend.

But, as soon as Brad sees him he is engulfed in the strong arms of his dream.

Or, daydreams at least...

The rest of the night he spends with the alpha, kissing and snuggling up to together.

Brad is in a good mood, telling him stories and laughing of himself.

If he is honest with himself, he doesn't think these stories are so funny, but just looking at the happy alpha makes him smile.

Besides, as an omega, it's his job to give the alpha the best time of his life.

So, if that it listening to the alpha talk about himself, that's not hard.

And after the party is finished, they go back to Brad's room arm in arm.

Later that night, he shows the alpha that he can take care of the alpha, and not just the other way.

What he lacks in experience, he gives back in enthusiasm, and soon he has the alpha shivering and grunting under him.

He feels powerful, taking good care of the alpha.

Eager to prove himself, and to learn more, he asks the alpha for what else he want.

Let's just say that they don't sleep that night...

 

This weekend is the beginning of a new routine developing.

He still works double shifts, he goes to the gym, and work hard to eat enough food.

But almost every weekend, he spends the nights with Brad.

Fridays, they meet at the party, and he goes home with Brad.

Saturdays, they normally meet in the early evenings, planning to go for a short walk or sit and talk in the park close to the alpha entrance.

But, every time, they end up making out and making each other come.

He had no idea it was possible to come so many times in one single night, and although it feels amazing, it's exhausting.

Most weekends, he spends all day Saturday and Sunday in bed, sleeping.

Keith teases him about it some time, about the two being singled minded, and reminding him that he can't get pregnant outside of heat.

But they have to be careful, the only reason alphas and omegas should meet is for making babies, or making the alpha pleased enough to stay with them through a heat.

So, although Brad and he meet almost every weekend, and Brad never picks any other omega at the parties, he never considers the alpha to be his.

 

Keith is still around, he didn't get pregnant this time around neither.

That's not something they have talked much about, but three heats without getting pregnant is really breaking Keith apart.

Keith's alpha is still around, holding his hand at the parties, and sometimes holding him tight all night long afterwards...

To be honest, he is kind of relived Keith isn't pregnant, so he can keep his friend for longer.

He has become so used to have someone to talk to, the days where he was satisfied with only himself as company is long gone.

But, he is totally devastated for his friend.

The omegas only purpose is childbearing, and at Keith's age and with three missed changes it doesn't look good.

His friend tries to stay positive, smiling and talking like he use to do.

Its only when he thinks nobody is looking that his face falls and the desperation shows.

He wonders about what he can do to make it easier for Keith, but since there really isn't much to do about the problem, he can't find anything.

So, he just tries to be there for him, giving him time.

He tries to not talk to much about Brad, but its difficult, and it seems like Keith smiles more when he shows how happy he is.

Therefor, he lest himself dream out loud a little, sharing this amazing alpha with Keith.

 

Paige is also still around, although just a shadow of what she was when he first came to the sanctuary.

She is so skinny and looks so bad, that the doctor has refused her to come along to the parties anymore.

Come to think of it, he has never seen Paige at the parties, he just assumed that she was there.

Hans and Keith never mentioned anything, but they seldom talk about the girl when he is there.

It is obvious that there are a lot about Paige he doesn't know.

He doesn't know what to make of that, he is used to not knowing anything, but he kind of thought they were friends now.

It bothers him, to be honest, that he doesn't know everything.

Or at least enough to understand the woman.

But it also bothers him that he feels this strong need to know Paige better, why on earth should he care about her?

Then the memories of Paige coming out of _that_ house haunts him...

 

All in all, his life looks good.

He likes his job, -cleaning is easy.

He has a good friend, and an alpha not-boyfriend.

His stomach is full his clothes are clean, and he have his own bed.

There is not much to complain about.

 

Until his next doctors appointment...


	14. Chapter 14

 14

 

It was a normal doctor's appointment, or at least he thought so.

His weight is much better, almost normal, and have been stable the last couple of months.

Blood tests shows no signs of stress, and he have never looked so healthy in his life.

So, there was no reason for the doctor to look so disappointed with him? 

After the normal tests, the doctor tells him that they have to talk.

"the blood result shows no sign of an upcoming heat, despite you being here for more than 9 months."

Hard eyes stares at him.

"You should have had at least one heat in this time, and although you still are skinny, you are in better shape than you were when you came here."

Heat!

He feels terrible.

In this heaven he has been living, he has totally forgot about his heat...

How on earth is it possible for him to forget about something he daydreams about several times a week??

To dream about spending heat with the alpha, to daydream about little Brads running around...

And at the same time forget that he was supposed to have a heat months ago?

The doctor keeps talking, but there is not possible for him to understand what he says.

All he can think about is Brad.

What will the alpha say?

It's not like he has been hiding his lack of heats, but...

Brad must think he is stupid.

He really is stupid, he knows that, had just forgotten about it for a while.

Wow...

He is so stupid that he can't even remember that he is stupid!

Finally, the doctor lets him go, and with his head low he goes home.

The afternoon shift is about to start, but right now he can muster up the energy to work.

Walking home, his head spins...

He can't remember what he did the rest of that day, just that he woke up in his old place behind the bed.

After a warm shower to wake up and ease his sore muscles, he tries to continue like it's a normal day.

Well, it is a normal day, but he is not.

Or, he is his normal self, it's just that he has forgotten for a while what he is.

A stupid scum.

Shaking his head, he focuses on his work, and the other omegas conversations.

They are talking about alphas as usual, one young girl has caught the interesse from one new alpha, and what an alpha he is.

He almost smiles, when he hears all the tings this alpha is capable of.

At least, what the older omegas are teasing this young girl with!

It seems like he is built like a brick house and hung like a horse.

He is not quite sure about what that last thing is, but he can guess.

A blush spreads across his chin, and he turns around, so nobody can see it.

He thinks about Brad, and if he would be called hung like a horse.

The alpha probably would, at least he thinks so.

But the only other members he has seen is his own and the sheriff's.

After all this time with Brad, he is sure that the sheriff is a normal human and not an alpha.

He is quite sure he would have remembered if the sheriff had a knot!

 

Later, after dinner, he talks with Keith.

He tries to pretend everything is normal, and somehow Keith doesn't say anything.

Keith himself looks a little out of it, so they both pretend that everything is normal, and talk about nothing important.

It feels wrong, not telling his friend about his problems.

The small talk soon fades away, and most of the evening they just sit there, together, lost in their own head.

Its kind of nice, having a friend he can sit there and be quiet with.

He just wishes the thoughts in his head wasn't quite as dark.

 

Then its Friday again.

At work, everything goes slower somehow.

He can't get himself to work at the phase he normally does, as if he moves slow enough the day will never end.

At the same time, the hours flies, and suddenly its dinnertime.

The food probably tasted delicious, as always, but he can't taste anything.

He misses Brad and are looking forward to talk with the alpha.

But at the same time, his is kind of... scared...

After that first night they had together, the alpha had never talked about heats.

But the alpha was obsessed about how wet he gets and spends a lot of time between his legs.

So, what the alpha would do, if he suddenly brings up the missing heats, he really doesn't know.

He isn't sure he wants to know how the alpha would react, but it feels wrong not saying anything after his appointment.

Because his heat is always on his mind.

He has tries to not think about it during his days, focusing on everything else.

But during the night, there is no way around.

He tosses and turns and even cried some at one point.

And he has not slept at all.

Just lying in bed until the sun comes up, before starting his days as normal as he manages.

But now it's party time.

So, despite being tired and unsure, he enters the location looking for Brad.

The alpha is nowhere to be seen, so he grabs a beer, and try to hide in a corner.

Avoiding eye contact and pretending to be occupied with whatever. 

There is no way he can cope with a different alpha tonight...

When he thinks about it, Brad have been a little distracted lately, lost in thought and staring at nothing.

Maybe the alpha is getting bored of him?

 

Before he can think more about that, he can feel someone sit down beside him.

Smiling, he turns to look at the person.

But it's not the alpha he was hoping for, rather one he really hoped he would never see again.

Danny.

The alpha just smiles at him and leans in to sniff at his neck.

He can feel bile raising in his throat, hating the foul smell coming from Danny.

Like mint and sour milk.

Fleetly, he wonders how he never noticed that smell the last time...

"are you sitting here all by yourself?

I thought that brat never left your side..."�

One arm comes around his shoulder, he wants to shrug it off, but he can't.

"you are really something else, you know that?

I have been looking forward to your heat, ready to fight that alpha of your for the right to breed you good..."�

A shiver ran down his spine, the thought of spending his heat with this alpha making him nauseous.

"but, then I realized that you have been around so long, so you really should have had your heat some time ago!

Tell me, how come this brat of yours still hangs around, despite you obviously being a broken omega?

I have a theory, one you can confirm for me..."�

The smile on Danny's face is cruel.

"you must be really good in bed...

I wonder if maybe I should test that theory out?"�

He starts to shake his head, before he remembers that he has no choice.

"that's right.

Remember your place...

But don't fret, I would never lower myself to bed a defect omega..."�

Laughing, Danny walks away.

 

Tears fills his eyes, but he manages to blink them away before they fall down his chin.

He knows he doesn't belong here.

That he stupid and a scum and everything else Father told him.

But he has never thought of himself as broken.

He has had at least one heat, probably two, so how can he be broken?

Danny doesn't know this, though.

And Keith told him Danny likes to put omegas in place, make them remember that they are below the alphas.

Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath and decides that Danny would not make him break down.

Never.

When he opens his eyes again, it is to see Brad coming towards him.

A smile spread across his face, the familiar warmth building in his stomach.

He gets a smile in return, but only a short one, and only for a few seconds.

"so... you and Danny?"�

Brad doesn't look pleased.

"this is the second time I have seen you with him, how come?"�

He tries to say something, but nothing comes out of his mouth.

It not like he have a choice, why are Brad blaming him?

The alpha just looks at him, while finishing his beer.

With a huff, Brad shakes his head and gives him a small smile.

He then finds himself in the alphas lap, strong arms holding him tight.

"I just don't want to share you...

That's all..."�

Brad whispers in his ear, his lips ghosting his jaw before giving him a passionate kiss and his lips.

The rest of the night, the alpha holds him tight.

Kissing him deeply, one hand under his shirt making random patterns on his back.

A nose inhaling deep in his neck.

The alpha making small whining noises and trying to get him even closer.

The possessive alpha from some time ago is all gone, its like Brad is in his own little work where to two of them are the only persons around.

After the party is over, they don't make it all the way home before Brad is pounding in him hard and fast.

Both the alpha and the omega are desperate, ending up with them ones again knotted against a wall... 

He totally forgets about the missing heats, lost in the alphas smell and caresses.

 

_The meadow feels small this time._

_If it is because some of it is gone, or if it's because he is bigger, he can't say._

_He wants to stand up, to see better, but he can't._

_Something heavy holds him down._

_Someone holds him down._

_Pins him to the ground._

_It gets difficult to breath, he tries to wriggle free._

_But a sharp pain makes him stop._

_Looking down, he can see a big hole in his stomach._

_Panicking, he opens his mouth to scream, to ask for help._

_There is something missing, something his body aches for._

_Something that should be where that hole is..._

_"_ _help me..."�_

_He tries to scream, but there is barely any sound at all._

" _hold on... Don't give up..."�_

_The wind whispers in his ear, calming him somewhat._

He wakes up curled up against the alpha.

He tries to go back to sleep, there's only a few hours since they fell asleep.

But he can't.

The thoughts that have bothered him these last days comes crashing down on him and suddenly he shivers.

His breathing goes unregular and tears fills his eyes.

As carefully as he manages, he leaves the bed and hides in the bathroom.

There is no way Brad can see him now, looking like this.

He has to calm down before the alpha wakes up!

But, he has no such luck, as Brad walks in looking half a sleep.

"what is wrong?"

Blinking, the alpha pulls him close.

"are you hurt?

Did something happened?"�

There is no way he can get out of this now.

Focusing on his breathing, he manages to calm himself down eventually.

So, sitting on the bathroom floor, he tells Brad everything.

He tells him about the doctor's appointment, his missing heats, and how Danny had called him broken.

About his fears, the though of never having a heat, never being able to get pregnant, never fulfilling his destiny.

Finally, he tells him about his fear of what the alpha would do now...

Said alpha looks at him for a while.

"come here, let's just go to bed, we can talk more about this after some more sleep..."�

With a kiss to he heads, the alpha gets up and gives him a hand.

Crawling under the sheets and into Brads arms, he feels safe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain violens


	15. Chapter 15

15

 

Waking up again, he looks around confused.

He is in Brad's room, but the alpha is nowhere to be seen.

The sheets beside him are cold, so there is some time since Brad left him.

Why would he leave him?

The he remembers the conversation from last night.

Or, since the alpha never said anything, him emptying his mind to Brad...

Maybe the alpha just needs some time, and soon will be back.

But after waiting for what fells like forever, he takes a short shower and gets dressed.

If the alpha doesn't want to talk to him, he for sure won't force him.

 

Walking in to the cafeteria, he is surprised to see Keith sitting there.

It's too late for breakfast, and too early for lunch, so he thought he would be alone.

His friend looks worn out and exhausted.

So, he grabs a plate of food, and sits down next to him.

Keith looks at him, looks down on his food, and back up at him.

Then he starts to cry.

He hurries to pull his friend in for a hug, holding him tight.

The omega tries to say something but doesn't manage between his sobs.

So, he just hushes him and strokes his hair, telling him to just let it out.

What feels like hours later, Keith finally calms down enough to talk.

"I... I'm so scared...

The doctor has decided that I can't have children, that I'm infertile!"�

Hiccupping, he dries his eyes with his shirt.

"they say I'm too old, that it shouldn't be possible for an omega to go through three heat with an alpha without getting pregnant.

I am a failure!"

Big fat tears fall down the omegas face, but it's like he doesn't notice.

"they say that since I'm broken, I'm only a plaything now.

And that I have to report to Stan on Monday, so he can enroll me in whatever they do with playthings here at the sanctuary!"

The omega is full out wailing now, throwing himself against his chest.

So, they stay like that for a long time, Keith only managing to calm down again when people start to come in for lunch.

He really doesn't know what to say.

Thoughts of Danny's words last night comes to his mind, but he pushes them away to focus on his friend.

He tries to think of something to cheer Keith up some, or to at least console him a little.

But there is really nothing he can say that will make this okay.

 

After a while they tries to eat some of their food, now long since cold, before he asks Brad to go for a walk with him.

Maybe some fresh air will help the pore omega.

Or, the fresh air will probably help them both.

They wander around aimlessly, and after a while Brad starts to talk again.

"for a while now, I have felt like things was falling in place.

I had even realized that Stan is not meant for me, and found peace with Tim, the alpha I spent my heat with.

He is so kind to me, so sweet with his hand holding, and he smells good.

Not that I dream of a life with him, that is not what this place is about, but...

There was even a small hope inside me that I would get pregnant after my next heat...

Maybe even spend my pregnancy with him, have some months of peace.

But there is no way Tim would want to have anything to do with me now..�.

A bitter laugher leaves the omega.

"Not that I would ever meet him, since I'm not allowed to go to the parties anymore.�

Shaking his head, Keith looks at him with despair in his eyes.

"I... I just wish I could say good bye to him...

You know, tell him I'm sorry..."�

He can understand Keith's desperation.

Alphas are not supposed to come to the omega part of the sanctuary.

They would not be in danger of bodily harm, like omegas would at the alpha side.

But omegas tended to react badly to alphas wandering around here.

Some just gets restless, other can feel fear when their safe heaven being disturbed by alphas.

There is still nothing he can say or do for his friend, besides be there for him.

So, he stays close to Keith, listens to everything he says and makes short comments when he can.

After dinner, the are both so worn out that they say their good bye and goes to bed.

 " _Wake up, you bastard!"�_

_Jumping up, he looks around._

_He is in a dark room, so dark that he can't see anything._

_"_ _I told you to stay in your place, but did you do that?"�_

_Something heavy hits his knee and he falls down screaming._

_"_ _so... you can't even take your punishment without making a fool of yourself anymore..._

_Screaming your lungs out, like one tiny hit is something to complain about..."_

_It's the left elbow that get hit this time, and he can hear something breaking._

_"_ _first, you turn out to be an omega..."�_

_The other elbow goes, and he lands on his face._

" _then, you run away..."�_

_Lower back._

_"_ _you play weak and innocent"�_

_Another voice says, with a hit to his tight._

_"_ _then you pretend to be a real omega"�_

_A third voice whispers._

_"_ _playing with us all, thinking that you would get away with it..."�_

_There is no hit this time, just silence._

_No sound, no movements, no nothing._

_The nothing continues, he just lays there unable to move._

_With only the pain to keep him company._

_Laying there, listening after something that never comes._

_Listening to the silence._

_The nothingness consuming him._

_Slowly going mad..._

_"_ _hold on..."�_

_The familiar whispering sooths him, but only for so long..._

_The silence soon drives him to the brink of insanity._

_No one is there, he's all alone._

_Forever alone._

_Lost in the void._

_He starts screaming..._

 

Jumping up, he looks around.

It's dark, but not so dark that he can't se that he is in his room.

Shaking he sits down on his bed, trying to calm his breath.

This is by far the worst nightmare he has ever had.

When he lived with Father in the village, he was used to be alone.

He was also used to be in pain, but he really didn't register the pain.

The pain was always there, a part of him.

After he came to the sanctuary, pain became something else.

Something felt inside, more related to words than to physical wounds.

He could feel the pain now, since it wasn't a constant in his life.

If that was for the better or for the worse, he didn't know.

But now, he was more afraid of being alone, then feeling pain.

 

When the sun finds its way inside his room, he is still sitting there in his bed looking at nothing.

The shivering had stopped some time ago, but he had been uncapable to move.

It is like the sun wakes him up, and blinking he goes to take a warm shower.

After changing his sheets, that still is soaked after his nightmare, his stomach lets him know he needs food.

He is tempted to just go back to bed regardless but ends up going to the cafeteria.

 

There isn't a lot of people in the tent yet, since it is early and a Sunday.

So, he has a quiet breakfast, not tasting the food but eating non the less.

Afterwards he tries to do some weight training, but he can't concentrate so he gives up.

Going for a walk in the sun sounds like a better exercise than nothing, so he walks around in a daze.

He has no idea how long he has been walking, but when he comes out of it, he sees that he is in the little park close where he used to meet Brad.

Sitting down on the bench, he tries to collect his thoughts.

His own missing heat.

His feeling of loss of Brad.

Keith's despair and desperation.

And finally, his dream.

A nightmare leaving him numb.

He doesn't have a problem to understand why he would have a nightmare last night, he often had one when life got extra hard.

But the intensity of this dream, and the impact it had on him, makes him uneasy.

 

He is brought out of his thoughts when somebody sits down beside him.

Surprised, he turns his head and look in to sad green ones.

Brad!

The alpha takes his hand and hold it with both his own.

"I'm so glad I found you.

I have been looking for you all day, asking everybody I met if the knew you and where you were.

But it was only when I gave up that I finally saw you!"�

He holds his breath.

The alpha had been looking for him?

In the omega part of the sanctuary?

"sorry for leaving you in my bed, but I just had to get away to think."

If the alpha went away to think, and now wanted to talk to him, maybe they would be okay?

"Since I was 12 years old, and first heard of this place, my dream was to aid with the cause.

As soon as I was old enough, I came her ready to do my part.

I was a scrawny little thing, not even close to start in the breeding program."

Brad smiles at him, and he can feel a little hope blossom.

"the first year, I did all the odd jobs I could get, and spent the rest of the day eating and lifting weights.

When I first was ready to go to my first mingle party, I was so hyped up!

Finally, I was going to do my part for real.

Of course, I ended up too afraid to even talk to an omega.

But it got better, and within the first year and a half, I spent three heats with different omegas.

None of them became pregnant, I felt like a looser and wondered if I could continue.

Then, when I was at the lowest, I entered the party thinking it would be my last one.

But this wonderful smell made me dizzy, I had to find the source, and it was you."

A deep blush spreads on his face, thinking back to their first encounter makes him smile.

The alpha also smiles, a smile full of fondness.

"I could not get enough of your smell, all thoughts of giving up disappeared.

Since then, I have just waited for your heat, wanting nothing more then to make you pregnant.

Every time we got together, you where so wet, making me believe that your heat was coming soon.

But I know I was just fooling myself.

We have been together so long now, I should have known that..."�

Brad took a deep breath, shaking his head a little.

"That you should have had one by now.�"

He feels horrible.

All Brad dreamed of, was to help the cause.

He wants to do it with him, and now he probably can't.

Tears fills his eyes, all he wants is to hug the alpha, but he is not sure if he is allowed.

"I have been thinking for a while if what we have is the best for the cause, I mean...

We are supposed to breed, and I love to bed you, but...

Since you don't have a heat in the near future.

Maybe... maybe I should spend a heat with another omega..."�

He looks up, and sees that Brad is crying.

Silent tears running down his chin.

"All I want, is to be with you, but I don't know if I can...

Please, can I talk with you at the next party?

And... and...

Maybe we can get together again after I spend a heat with somebody else?

Or maybe you get your heat soon..."�

Brad looks so small, so insecure, so confused.

The alpha is full of emotions, they almost tear him apart.

He himself feels numb.

But he has to comfort the alpha, so he smiles and squishes his hand.

"of course, I understand...

Take your time, and then we talk next Friday."�

The alpha pulls him in for a hug, holding him close for a long time.

 

Â Life isn't easy here in the sanctuary.

Just because it is their purpose to save the human race one baby at the time, it's not like they as single-minded breeding machines...

They have everything they need, plenty of food, doctors, teachers, workout instructors and a room all of their own.

There are plenty of alphas, and plenty of omegas for they to choose from.

Everybody has to work, but just for a few hours a day, so they have plenty of time to have fun and socialize.

So, body and mind are taken care of...

The only thing not regulated and fulfilled in this sanctuary is feelings.

People fall in love, they detest each other, and everything in between.

Love complicate things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain talk of violens, and sex


	16. Chapter 16

16

 

Keith disappears after his meeting that Monday.

He feels so lost.

Since he came here to the sanctuary, he has gotten used to have people around him.

And not just around him, but close to him as dear friends.

When Mira and then Hans disappeared, it was because they got pregnant, at least that's what he hopes.

And although he misses them, he is happy for them

But there is no happiness involved in Keith's disappearance.

He is scared for his friend, not knowing what happened to him, just that it isn't anything good.

Losing his third friend is hard for him.

It's difficult to eat enough, his stomach churning and nausea running through his body.

But he has decided to make the most out of the time he have here, so he refuses to give up.

He spends his days as normal as possible, eating, working and exercising.

Trembling hands makes it difficult to lift weights, so he goes for long walks instead, but he is exercising non the less.

He never ventures close to the park where he and Brad used to meet, staying deep within the omega side of the place.

The thoughts of the alpha hunts him often, but he tries to not use too much energy at the situation.

He will get his answers at the party, no use in tormenting himself all week when that will have no influence on the alphas decision.

At his weekly appointment with the doctor, he finds himself curious about what the doctor had said to him last week.

Or scared, terrified even...

How long will it take before the doctor decides that he too is infertile?

Did the doctor give him a timeframe for when he had to have a heat before he too would be considered a plaything?

He thinks he remembers something like that, something deep in his mind, closed off to protect him at the time.

All he could think of when the doctor brought up his missing heat, was how this would tear his new world apart.

That his dream was ending, that this time they would definitely send him to the place where he belongs.

And have been belonging all this time.

Where playthings lived, apparently.

But before he can open his mouth to ask, the doctor sends him home.

He decides to ask next week.

 

At dinner that night, he takes a seat next to Paige, and tries to talk to her.

She looks haunted but smiles at him.

He has to force his mouth shut at that, it is the very first time he has seen the woman smile.

They don't talk much but spends some time together after they are done eating.

It should maybe feel awkward, like they try to replace they friend Keith with the other.

But it doesn't feel that way.

It feels more like they now have something in common, two single souls lost and alone in the middle of other omegas.

 

When the afternoon crew shows up the next afternoon, they are chatting furiously about something.

He tries to concentrate about his work, but soon the chatting turns out to shouting and then he ends up trying to separate two female omegas kicking and throwing punches at each other.

He gets a kick to his groin for the trouble, and suddenly everybody quiets down.

After some time trying to breath trough the pain, he is told the story behind this mess.

The young girl that had caught the attention of the big alpha hung like a horse as they said a couple of weeks ago, silently cries.

It turns out that said alpha had brought her home last Friday and used her violently.

The little omega had never been with anybody else, and the alpha had just thrown her on the bed and mounted her.

No preparation, no caresses, just pounding her until he got his own release.

The alpha then told her to leave, before falling asleep.

She had limped home as fast as she was capable of, blood and semen running down her tights.

At her next doctors appointment, she was told she had a rupture in her nether parts that needed to heal.

The doctor also told her that as an omega, that should not have happened.

Basically, it was her own fault that her body couldn't handle the alpha.

But since she was so young, the doctor said he would let her decide herself if she was capable go to the next party or not. 

The fight is between a woman saying that she should have a couple of weeks to heal, and an older woman that means the doctor was too kind to her.

As an omega, her body is made to please the alphas, so she must have done something wrong to end up hurt, she says.

It's a difficult situation.

The poor girl is hurting, and terrified of the alpha.

She is shaking, and in so much pain that it is hard for her to stand up straight.

He wants nothing more than to protect her, make sure nobody hurt her ever again, but..."

The alpha was in his right to do what he did and is free to do it again if he wants to.

What alpha wants, alpha gets.

 

When he goes to bed that night, the sad eyes of that girl linger in his mind.

He can understand her pain and fear, but the fact is that the alphas rules for a reason.

And that in the bigger picture, a hurt omega is nothing if this place can save the human race.

Maybe this alpha will be nicer to her the next time, or maybe he will leave her alone.

Maybe another alpha will treat her better another time...

 

_Everything is dark, so dark._

_He's alone in the meadow, it's nighttime._

_But he has never seen this place so dark before._

_No stars, no moon._

_Like the sky is replaced with a black cloth._

_The threes replaced by black walls._

_He feels trapped._

_"_ _so close..._

_Come to me..."�_

The next morning, there is something totally different that occupies him.

It's Friday, and he will meet Brad again tonight.

What that meeting will result in, he really doesn't know.

He is somewhat scared, but he has resigned to the thought that Brad will leave this night with someone else.

Maybe he even should tell the alpha to spend a heat with another omega, hopefully resulting in another important baby.

But merely the thought makes his stomach turn.

At work this day, that young omega is missing.

Nobody talks about it, but he can see the fear in their eyes.

He has a bad feeling himself, there is really no reason for her not to come to work.

But after his work is done and dinner is eaten, he focuses on the party.

Walking inside the location, the now familiar boost of smells hits his nose.

Somehow it feels like the smells intensifies each week, the mix making him sneeze.

He can smell the omegas too, now.

Musky and sweet smells mingling around him.

Brad is sitting at the bar, so he goes up to him and says hi.

The alpha gives him a big smile, and a firm hug.

"I've been missing you..."�

They walk over to a corner where they can talk in peace.

"I have come to the conclusion that what we have been doing isn't for the best for the cause.

But, there is no way I will let you go!"�

Brad looks at him with pleading eyes.

"I... I have to spend heats with other omegas, at least until you get yours."�

This is it.

He knew this was too good to be true.

Well, he has had some good times these last weeks, and just because it is over now, the memories remain.

With a small smile, he tells the alpha exactly that.

Brad just give him a tiny smile.

"I have feelings for you, you know that.

I'm not sorry for the time we have spent together, but we shouldn't have done it!

A couple of omegas could have been pregnant now, but instead spent their heat alone.

I will never forgive myself for this..."�

Tears falls from the alphas eyes, and all he can do is to dry his chins with his thumbs and try to comfort him.

"we got a little lost in each other, but we are doing the right thing now.

Don't be to hard on yourself, Brad."�

His heart aches for the alpha, and guilt fills him too.

How could they have done this?

Alpha want alpha gets, yes.

But the ultimate cause is to make babies.

If only he had remembered his heat.

But as usual, he managed to forget one of the most important things in his life.

Actually, he forgot the most important thing, the only reason he is alive.

He gives the alpha a small smile and tells him good luck.

Brad squishes his hand before he lets go of it, stands up, and with a last smile he leaves him.

Luckily, he is left alone with his thoughts the rest of the night.

He feels nothing.

Shouldn't he feel something?

The alpha was perfect for him, how come he feels so calm?

Like this is okay?

He is still sitting and pondering over this when somebody sits down beside him.

Looking up, he can see that it's Brad.

"I... I didn't get one of the heat omegas... there was only three, and they all had some big bulky alphas lined up wanting them...

So... one last night?"�

Looking at this big handsome alpha, he can't believe there was better alphas for these omegas.

But, the butterflies in his stomach tells him that he is really not sad for this outcome!

The thought of spending one last night with Brad makes him smile.

Nodding, he almost climbs the alpha's lap to get close enough.

And, although they manage to get all the way to Brad's room before he is knotted, the night is passionate.

Different that before maybe, more caresses and silent moments and less desperation.

But filled with passion.

And when he leaves in the morning, it is with tears in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

 

The numbness comes back when he enters the cafeteria to get some food.

His whole body feels heavy, his chest hurts, and his thoughts is slow.

When he is finished eating, he stumbles to bed and curls in on himself.

Making himself as small as he can, staring at nothing.

 

He slowly blinks his eyes open again, somehow, he must have fallen asleep, it's time for dinner.

Eating his dinner alone, he tries to shake this feeling of numbness off.

He should not be so surprised about what happened, he knew he doesn't belong here.

Lost in thought, he nearly jumps when Paige sits down beside him. 

The omega looks worse than he has ever seen her before.

Her eyes filled with something he doesn't understand, something wild, something wrong.

She asks him if they can go for a walk.

The omega looks desperate, so he smiles and nods.

It's the least he can do for the only friend ha has left.

She is a friend, isn't she?

He decides that she is.

They walk for a while, before she starts to talk.

"you know the house?"

She looks at him, to make sure he understands witch house she is talking about.

"I haven't had a heat since I got here, you know.

The doctor doesn't understand it, all the tests are fine, the heat just doesn't come...�

She is whispering, looking around to make sure no one sees them.

"I know you have been here for close to a year without a heat, and I don't want to scare you, but you should know that there is no such thing as a free pass at this place...�

Shivering, she grabs his hand.

"please, stay safe, don't end up like me!

Oh... What am I saying... there is nothing you can do..."�

Suddenly she is gone, leaving his head spinning.

That made absolutely no sense at all...

Giving up on this strange day, he goes to bed hoping for a good night sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain death of minor caracter


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a couple of slow chapters, I'm finally going forward with this story.  
> Maybe reading harlequin inspired stories in between writing what was going to be some really dark chapters in this story wasn't the cleverest.  
> Well..  
> Back on track now, I hope...

 

17

 

At dinner the next day, Keith suddenly sits down next to him.

He jumps, his heart beating so hard.

Seeing his friend again is a surprise to him, something he never thought would happened.

His friend looks different since the last time he saw him.

The smile on his face is the biggest smile he has ever seen on the omega, but at the same time it seems too big for his face for some reason.

"I have to talk to you; can we go for a walk when you are done?"

Keith can't sit still, constantly looking around and fidgeting.

Smiling at the eagerness his friend shows, he just nods and finishes his meal quickly.

His friend hurries them out of the tent, and in to the shadows.

After a few minutes walking silently, the omega giggles and start talking.

"Stan told me about what a plaything is supposed to do, but before your ask, I cannot tell you.

But, after he told me those horrendous duties, he said I had one other option.

It turns out, he likes me enough that he wants me to be his private plaything!"

The omega almost vibrates with joy, and he can understand why.

Keith have been in love with the low power alpha for a long time, and now he can be with him.

"he even wants me to live with him, that's why I am here now, to get my stuff."�

Whatever these horrendous duties could be, the omega obviously thought they is worth doing to live with the coordinator.

"I'm not allowed to speak with anybody, because nobody can find out about this."

The omega whispers and jumps at every sound they hear.

He furrows his brows.

Something doesn't feel right.

"But I had to see you, tell you about my good luck and say good bye!"�

Keith's smile is not as huge as before, and he notices the dark bags under his eyes.

He is glad to see that the omegas future is much brighter that they thought it would be.

But something feels wrong.

Something in the back of his mind tells him that living the dream of his life isn't anything like what Keith dreamt of.

But there is nothing he can do; this option is probably much better than the other alternative.

So, he pulls his friend in for a hug, and freezes when Keith yelps in pain.

"sorry! Sorry!

I didn't mean to!

It's just...

I ran in to a door the other night, so my back hurts a little.

I still want a hug!

A hug good bye to me, and a good luck hug to you..."�

Carefully, he puts his arms around his friend again, and after a long hug the omega disappears in to the shadows.

 

It's not before he goes to bed, that he realizes what felt wrong with Keith's smile.

It was too big for his face, because the man had lost so much weight that his face looked thinner.

 

At work the next day, everybody goes around in silence.

He wonders why but is afraid to ask.

Today he works close to The House, that he has started to call it to himself, and at one point three omegas comes out.

He stops up to look at them, to see if Paige is one of them.

Two of the omegas almost carries the last one between them, and to his horror that's Paige.

She doesn't look conscious; one eye is blue, and he can see some blood running down her legs.

Her pale face looks like wax, her mouth hangs open.

Everything around him stops.

Every sound disappears.

Words and memories tumble around in his mind, and suddenly he understands.

Paige didn't have heats.

Paige was infertile.

Paige was a plaything...

And this was the last time he would see Paige.

His lungs burn, his visions blur and finally he remembers so breath.

After some minutes just breathing, he finds himself sitting on the ground, and the three omegas nowhere to be seen.

Shaking, he continues to work, having to do something to not go crazy.

A plaything is literally something to play with.

But...

What alpha wants, alpha gets.

So, there is something else going on, and he is not sure if he wants to find out what that is.

The rest of his shift he walks around in a kind of daze.

And there is not before the afternoon shifts comes in, that he registers what goes on around him.

The young girl from last week is still missing, and several of the other omegas have tears in their eyes.

"they... they found her last night...

She was in the park near the gate to the alpha side...

She.. she bled to death."�

What was she doing there?

If she didn't want to live anymore, there are better places to do it then at a park frequently used by both alphas and omegas.

He can't think more about this...

It is too much for him, so he just shakes his head and starts to work.

 

Dinner that night is difficult.

He barley gets anything in his stomach before he gives up.

And instead of working out, he goes straight to bed afterwards.

There is no sleep to be found though, too many thoughts, too much fear. 

Breakfast is no better than dinner, and a headache develop before his first shifts is over.

The pain makes it impossible to eat anything, so his lunch goes in the bin.

He takes a few sips of water, and fights to keep them down.

The afternoon shift thinks it's the dead girl that bothers him so much, so they let him be.

He still can't get a hold of this plaything stuff.

Keith became a plaything when the doctor said he was infertile.

After almost two years in the sanctuary without a heat, Paige was probably a plaything too.

But, why was Paige living among the other omegas when Keith had to hide?

And when he looks back, he can remember Hans and Keith running of to find Paige when Stan was looking for her not long after he came to the sanctuary.

He is missing something here.

And tomorrow he has a doctor's appointment.

There is no way he dares to ask the doctor about himself and infertile and plaything and...

Wow.

He has to sit down, dizziness making everything spin around.

This night, he skips dinner all together.

After a warm shower, he ones again tries to get some sleep.

 

_Darkness._

_Someone laughs far away..._

_Nothingness..._

_Void..._

" _hold on... I'm here..."�_

 

The doctor doesn't even look at him the next day.

He remembers the first few times he was at the doctor's office, how the doctor made him feel calm and safe.

Showering him with soft words and caresses.

Now he only feels scared.

"I heard you self-lubricate even outside of heat, that's not normal.

How come you never told me that?"�

The doctor doesn't seem angry, but furious.

Although he has never heard the word lubricate before, he thinks he understands what the doctor means.

Brad always talked about how wet he got...

How come the doctor know that?

Who told him, and why?

"I know I said you had to get your heat within the next three months, but this makes me think different.

You really are an odd omega, that's for sure.

No heat in nine moths despite earlier heats, self-lubricate outside heat, and a little bird told me you have been spending every weekend with the same alpha for several months too!"�

The doctor's words come out louder and louder, almost shouting in the end.

He can feel sweat running down his spine, he is so scared.

There is only one way this can go now...

"I'm declaring you infertile, an abnormality.

The only way you can contribute here, is really as a plaything.

You have an appointment with the coordinator after breakfast tomorrow.

Clean out your room before you go there."

 

He feels cold.

He's not afraid anymore, or nervous, he doesn't feel dizzy or nauseous.

He just feels cold.

After his workday is over, he forces himself to eat something for dinner, then he goes for a long walk.

This is his last night in the life he has been living for the last months.

The best months of his life.

He will try to hold on to all the good memories he has gotten from this place, keep them hidden in his heart.

 

Tomorrow he will find out what a plaything really is about.

And he will not be picked as anybody private plaything, like Keith.

He will end up like Paige.

Stumbling to bed, images of Paige from Monday and Keith's too big smile haunts him.

There is no way he will get any sleep tonight...

 

Blinking his eyes open, he is surprised of how fast he fell asleep last night.

He cleans his room and folds his clothes and other personal stuff.

He doesn't know if he will be able to keep it, but the doctor told him to clean out, so that's what he's going to do.

Then he takes a long warm shower, not knowing when the next one will be.

After a normal breakfast, again not knowing when the next meal will be, he walks towards the coordinators office.

Stan awaits him when he enters the office.

"well... look who's here...

Another one of you disgusting, broken omegas coming to my office begging for help."

Rolling his eyes, the coordinator tells him to enter.

He still can't feel anything other than cold.

Where did his fear go?

"at this place, the ultimate cause is to make as many babies as possible.

That cost a lot of money.

Food, electricity and everything else have its price.

And, to stay at this lovely place, we have to please to guys in charge in this city.

This we can do in many different ways, but that's not something you should think about.

We have been giving you food and shelter for a long time now, and as it turns out, you can't pay back the way you are meant to do.

There is only one use for omegas as you.

You will become a plaything.

That way you can still help the cause, still mean something."

Stan gives him an ice-cold smile.

"you see, one way to make sure the bosses of this city leave us alone to do like we want, is this weekly party we have for them.

Its kind of like your mingle parties, just with outside people instead of alphas.

Well, there is some alphas too, but not like those living here.

And believe me, the alphas living here are way to kind to you breeders.

Or, you are not a breeder, are you?

You are a failure.

And as the rest of you, you will get a bed in the dorms."�

The coordinator gives him a note and tells him to show it to the lady up front, so she could show him where to go. 

"first party is tonight, there is a gown on your bed, put it on.

You will be collected."�

 

He spends the rest of that day sitting on his new bed, waiting.

And thinking.

He really doesn't know what duties he will have, those hideous ones Keith talked about.

Not that he is so stupid that he doesn't suspect it involves some kind of sexual use of his body.

The question is what kind.

He hopes he won't be used in front of everybody, like Danny did. 

But he guesses he will find out tonight.

The gown he is given, a sort of long shift made of an almost see through material, leaves him feeling cold and vulnerable.

Shivering he sits there waiting.

It's almost midnight before he is collected, along with a female omega he has never seen before.

The room they enter, where the party is, smells of sex and sweat and desperation.

He doesn't know how he knows it's desperation he smells, but he is positive that is what this smell means.

Most of the men in the room are older, at least as old as Keith's old heat partner.

They all look at him like he is some kind of meat, and he feel naked even if he has his new gown on him.

"gentlemen, the toys are here.

Enjoy."�

The man that collected them tells no one in particular and then leave.

Suddenly he hears a voice he has heard before.

But never thought he would ever hear again.

The sheriff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should add some tags, but I can't figure out who.  
> Are my warnings okay?  
> Should I add som tags to describe the story better?
> 
> I really feel like a newbe here..  
> help!
> 
> edit:  
> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain violens and non-con/rape


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter in just a few hours!  
> things really moves forward now...

18

The sheriff’ here.  
Right next to him.  
Talking to him.  
“well well well…  
Look at this.  
So, this is where you ended up, boy!”  
The sheriff puts a hand on his shoulder, squishing it lightly.  
He freezes.  
“yes, my friend, this is a new one, it is it’s first time tonight.  
How do you like it?”  
A man he has never seen before looks him up and down.  
The sheriff turns to the man and smiles.  
“I have had the pleasure to try this toy out before.  
It is quite nice indeed.  
But, last time I had it, it was in heat.  
How come it ended up here?”  
Two other men comes up to him, one grabs his chin to move his head this way and that.  
“a little on the skinny side, don’t you think?”  
One of them say.  
“my lord, he is quite small, but the doctor says he is healthy.  
Except the fact that he is infertile, I mean.”  
My lord?  
He thought lords was something from the past, from before.  
“hm… it will have to do tonight.  
The female doesn’t interest me at all.  
But I expect it to fill my need.”  
looking around, he can see that several more men have entered the room.  
They all act like they are powerful, but he can’t smell any alphas in the room.  
Normal people, then.  
“my lord, I was told that it has some knowledge about the act, but not too much.  
I am sure that it will satisfy you.  
And, it has the ability to self-lubricate outside of heat!”  
The lord looks at him greedily, making him shiver.  
He can see the sheriff with the other omega, grabbing her breasts and making her turn around so he can get a better look.  
Shame fills him for a moment, but he pushes it down and closes off all his feelings.  
With the way it looks like this night will end, he needs to feel nothing.  
To distance himself.

People walk around talking and laughing, some without seeing him, some looking predatory at him.  
After a while, another double door opens to reveal a big dining table.  
Everybody, except the omegas of course, sits down to eat.  
He is told to kneel at the feet of the lord, hands on his back and eyes looking to the floor.  
After a while, the lord slips him a piece of meat like you would a dog.  
It’s humiliating.  
But still, he takes it.  
He hasn’t eaten since breakfast, and he have the feeling that denying this man anything will not end good.  
The talk around the table is loud, and he focuses at the conversations.  
On anything else than his own thoughts.  
The mayor of the city is here, with some important friends of his.  
Why the sheriff from his old village is one of then, he doesn’t understand.  
The lord is a good friend of the mayor in the city and gives the sanctuary a lot of money every year.  
So, everybody does anything to keep him happy.  
It’s obvious that he will be the thing to please the lord tonight.  
He wonders if he can manage that.  
Then he decides that he will try hos hardest.  
This is the only thing he can do for the sanctuary now.  
Help the case.  
Pay back for all the time he spent living with the real omegas, the real breeders.

Later, when the men have moved to some comfortable chairs with a drink, the lord tells him to take of his gown.  
Blushing he does what he is told, before he drops down to kneel beside him again.  
The other omega is nowhere to be seen, and the sheriff is also gone.  
But he can hear his laugh from somewhere close.  
Fingers starts to play with his hair, patting him.  
Without him wanting to, he can feel himself calm down.  
It feels nice.  
No thoughts bother him.  
He feels calm.  
Suddenly the hand grabs his head and pull, so he has to look up at the lord.  
The man’s pupils are huge.  
“get between my legs and open up”  
It takes him a few seconds before he understands what the lord wants.  
Then he remembers that one thing Brad used to do to him with his mouth.  
Shivering, he positioned himself in front of the mans crotch, and obediently opens his mouth wide.  
“open your eyes, dog, and let me out.”  
Confused he tries to understand, but the lord doesn’t bother to explain to him and just open his own pants.  
Right there, in the room with everybody else.  
Before he can collect himself, the hard member is pushed in his mouth.  
“no teeth.”  
The hand in his hair tightens, the lord pushing and pulling to make him move up and down.  
It starts of slow, before the lord gradually makes him take more of his member inside every time he enters…  
Two hand holds his head still, and the lord moves faster and faster.  
Although the lord certainly isn’t an alpha, and therefore doesn’t have an alpha size member, it still becomes difficult to breath.  
He becomes dizzy, dark spots dances before his eyes.  
Just before he panics, the lord pulls out.  
He tries to catch his breath, but the lord slams back inside again.  
Now the member goes down in his throat, making him gag a little.  
The lord pulls of again, and he soon learn to take fast deep breaths before he is filled with the lord ones again.  
This goes on in what feels like forever, before the lord goes still and comes down his throat with a groan.  
When the man lets go f his hair, he crumbles to a heap on the floor.  
No one takes any notice of him, so he takes a few minutes to collect himself before he goes back to kneeling like he had before.  
He hopes the lord is satisfied with him.

The hand comes back to his head, patting his hair.  
It feels nice this time too.  
His eyes close, his breath evens out.  
Laughter startles him, and he can hear the sheriff talking to someone.  
Maybe it is the mayor.  
“I can’t get over that it ended here!  
It comes from my little village, you know.  
The son of the pathetic village chief, or at least the son of his deceased wife, if you know what I mean!”  
More laughing, even the lord laughs.  
“one day, I saw these youngsters grab it in an alley, putting a bag over its head.  
Since I’m the sheriff and all, they got a little spooked when they saw me, but I decided to look another way for a little share of their earnings.  
I even gave them some facts about it!”  
He can’t look at the floor anymore and looks directly at the sheriff’s face.  
“the boy probably didn’t even know his own name...  
Proud village chief and all but understanding what he had living under his own roof, he certainly did not!”  
The sheriff looks right back at him, a big smirk at his face.  
“so pretty boy, you thought you struck gold when you ended up here, didn’t you?”  
The hand tugs his hair, and the lord tells him to get up.  
After getting up himself, the lord says his good byes and motions him to follow.  
He is lead to a room on the floor below the party and told to lay himself on the bed face down.  
“since you can self-lubricate, I guess I can skip prepping you to…”  
He goes stiff.  
There is no way he will get wet for this guy, no part of him want anything to do with this normal human.  
And no prep.  
His thoughts go to that young girl he used to work with, and suddenly it’s impossible to breath.  
“let’s see if it’s true what they said, are you wet for me dog?”  
Grabby fingers poke his entrance, and a growl leaves the lord.  
“dry like Sahara, back here…  
Are you kidding me?  
Well, I will have to use the fake stuff, but if you think I will waste time in prepping you are wrong.  
Present.”  
He is dragged up on all four, and the lord pounds inside with a brutal force.  
It’s like something is splitting him open, the pain makes him scream.  
“shut up, dog.  
This is what you are made for, the only thing you craves…”  
Grunting the lord keeps on with long hard movements, making it difficult for him to hold himself up on his arms.  
Despite the pain, he can feel himself getting hard, and that is just too much.  
He blocks out the filthy words from the lord, he blocks out the pain, he blocks out everything but his breathing.  
Nothing else matter.  
Breath in, breath out.  
Far away he can hear the noises from the man on top of him growing in density and volume.  
Something heavy lays over him.  
A pain shocks through him from his shoulder, the smell of blood filling his nose.  
He can feel the lord fill him with his semen, which in turn makes him come, and then everything goes black.  
When he wakes up again, he is alone in the bed.  
All kind of fluids sticks to him, he feels incredibly sore, and one shoulder throbs in pain.  
Slowly, he gets out of the bed and looks around.  
The room he is in is small, most of the space taken by the bed.  
He pulls on of the sheets around himself and open the only door there.  
A long hallway filled with more doors like the one he is standing in, and at the end a staircase.  
Walking down the stairs he finds another door, and when he opens that door he just stands there and watch.  
He is coming out the same door as he has seen Paige coming out several times before.  
In front of him stands one of his former co works, looking everywhere but at him.  
Shame fills him again and lowering his eyes he tries to find his way back to the dorms.  
After a short cold shower, he takes a look at his shoulder in the mirror.  
A bitemark.  
The lord bit him!  
Like he was an alpha, claiming a mate.  
Stupid normal human, why on earth would he do this?  
There is no way for a normal human to mark a mate with a bit.  
When an alpha bite, it leaves a scar as a reminder of the mating, a proof for everybody to see the omega is taken.  
This mark will grow without scaring.  
Since there is nothing to clean and cover the bite with, he just leaves it.  
On his bed he finds a piece of bread and his old clothes.  
There is also a note there, that he gets another omega in his room to read for him.  
He is to report at the coordinator’s office now.

When he enters the office, he is surprised to see Keith there.  
The omega is kneeling down on one side of Stan’s desk, hands on his back and eyes looking to the floor.  
Stan himself, doesn’t seem to notice his plaything is there.  
He’s only staring at him.  
“a little bird told the doctor that you can self-lubricate, can you tell me why the lord tells me you are dry as Sahara?”  
Shaking his head, he too keeps his eyes looking to the floor.  
“luckily for you, the lord thought you was okay, even calling you his little dog.  
But, the next time someone wants you because you get wet outside of heat, you better drip with it!”  
Walking around his desk, the coordinator suddenly hits Keith over the head with his hand.  
The omegas don’t make a sound.  
“there will be a special party for some long-time allies tonight, get that thing at your shoulder cleaned up and wait in your gown.”  
Stan throws him a first aid kit.  
“Keep your head down tonight, this guy demands submission from his toys.  
Expect pain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain violens and non-con/rape


	19. Chapter 19

19

That night he spends hours kneeling down beside a fat man smelling of tobacco and sweat.  
Nobody talks to him, but both the fat man and several of his friends tugs his hair and hits him over the head when the go past him.  
One time one of the friends kick him in the side so he falls down, and that makes the fat man talk to him for the first time.  
“get up, pet.”  
For some reason, the sheriff is here tonight to.  
How a small-town sheriff have made himself so important to the sanctuary, he will never know.  
But the sheriff at least notices him, looking up and down his body whenever the fat man doesn’t look his way.  
One time, while passing him, the sheriff even caressed his neck, before tugging him to disguise it.  
The attention didn’t make him feel better, but he didn’t think that was why the sheriff did it.  
The thought made him a little nauseous…  
After dinner is over, and they move on to drinks, they tell him to get up on all four in the middle of the room.  
The fat man takes out his member, and empty’s his bladder over him.  
Nobody laughs, nobody cares.  
“follow me”  
It’s not easy to get up, after all that time kneeling, but he manages.  
The man looks back at him.  
“pets use all four legs”  
Then he turns and walk away, without making sure he obeys.  
He tries to keep up with the fat man, but it’s hard on all four.

The room the enters this night is almost identical to the one last night, except that there is an on suite.  
He is left kneeling beside the bed, the man himself goes in to the bathroom.  
After e few minutes there’s a knock on the door, and a female omega enters.  
The fat man slams here against the wall, tear of her grown, and takes her violently.  
When the man grunts and fills the woman with his semen, the omega starts to cry.  
He wants to cry with her.  
“get on the bed, pet.  
On your back, legs spread.”  
The fat man ties his arms and his legs to the bed with some rope, making sure he can’t get loose.  
Then he is blindfolded and left in the dark.  
With a short cry, the woman lands on the bed beside him.  
“suck him hard”  
He can feel her crawling between his legs, before something warm surrounds his member.  
He can feel teardrops hitting his pelvis, she woman shivering in fear.  
But at the same time, it feels good.  
And despite himself, he can feel himself grow hard.  
Tears fills his own eyes.  
“that’s enough.  
Ride him.”  
Before he can comprehend what’s going on, her mouth is gone, and he is inside another part of her.  
“listen pet, and listen well…  
As long as you stay hard, I will not hurt her too much.  
As long as you don’t come, I will not suffocate her.  
Move, bitch.”  
The movements are uncertain and slow at first, but then the bed dips more and fingers join in beside his own member, pushing in and out.  
This feels good.  
So wrong, he is an omega and should not be at this end of things.  
So wrong, because he doesn’t want to do this.  
So wrong, because she doesn’t want to do this.  
But it feels so good.  
The woman jumps a little, like she is surprised by something.  
He can hear a strange noise; the sound reminds him of when Brad used to use his fingers inside him.  
To prep him.  
After a while, he can feel the woman lowering her body closer to his, putting a hand on each side of his head.  
Something makes her almost jump of his member, and she cries.  
The fat man grunts, and he is much closer than he thought.  
The woman’s movements become different, and soon he realizes that the fat man pushes inside her making her jump on his own member.  
He growls.  
The sounds of two people moving above him, skin against skin, small cries and grunts.  
Never knowing what will happen next, not being able to decide it himself.  
Just laying back and let it happen.  
Whatever it is.  
The warmth in the bottom of his stomach makes him shiver, the need for a release growing.  
He just wants to lay back and take everything he can get.  
But then the fat man’s words come back to him.  
“as long as he doesn’t come, the fat man won’t suffocate her.”  
Panic fills him, and he tries to get away.  
There is no way he will let this woman suffocate!  
He could take everything the fat man wanted to do with him.  
But this woman is probably innocent and doesn’t deserve any of this!  
His member loses its hardness.  
Then he remembers the other thing the fat man said.  
“stay hard, and he won’t hurt her too much.”  
He starts hyperventilating, his whole body shivering.  
There is no way he will let the man hurt her more than what he has already done.  
He has to get hard again, and that fast!  
Focusing on the warmth around his member, the sounds of slick and lust, the delicious movements…  
Suddenly the warmth comes back, it tightens and tightens and before he can do anything about it he comes.

He must have passed out, because when he next opens his eyes, he is alone in the bed.  
For a few seconds, he just looks around trying to remember what happened.  
The woman!  
He tries to jump out of bed, just to find out that he still is tied to the bed.  
Frantically, he searches the room for clues to what happened after he passed out, but there is nothing to be seen.  
His breath catches, and he panics.  
What if the fat man killed her?  
If she’s dead, that means it’s his fault!  
What if the man just suffocated her enough to make her loos conscious, she may be lying hurt somewhere!  
He had to get loos from these ropes, he had to get to her!  
Find her!  
Help her!  
Save her!

The sound of a door closing breaks his panic some.  
Turning towards the sound, he sees the fat man standing outside of the bathroom door.  
“so… you’re awake pet.”  
The man is drying his hands on a towel, leaving dark patches on it.  
“I gave you two rules, pet…  
And you broke one of them…”  
Walking slowly to the bed, the man looks up and down at him.  
“I really liked that bitch…”  
Absentmindedly, one of his hands starts to caress him.  
Soft fingers glides over his body, making him shiver.  
Not because it feels nice, but because he is scared.  
Scared to find out what happened to the woman, scared to find out what will happened to him now.  
Suddenly fingers are replaced with the tips of a knife, the soft caresses now leaving a small red trail behind.  
He doesn’t dare shiver anymore.  
Small dots of red along the trail grows bigger before they burst and make their own small trails down towards the mattress.  
He can’t feel any pain, just cold.  
So cold.  
His eyes follow the knife on its journey all over his body, slowly making its way around and around.  
As the knife comes higher and higher, it gets more and more difficult to see it, and then the tip comes up under his chin.  
“I really should break you for what you did…”  
A vicious smile spreads in his fat face.  
“and I will, but not today.”  
Suddenly the knife moves away, and before he can blink the ropes tying him to the bed is cut.  
The fat man turns around and leaves.  
He just lays there for a long time.  
His heart is beating far too fast, far too loud, he can’t hear anything else.  
Eventually, he calms himself enough to get up of the bed on unsteady legs.  
There are no clothes here, like yesterday, so he grabs a sheet to cover himself.  
His eyes go to the bathroom door, but he can’t make himself to open it up to look inside.  
He is terrified for what he may find.  
Ashamed, he opens the other door and takes the same route as yesterday back home to the dorms. 

The next couple of days, he rarely leaves his bed.  
He showers several times, but still feels dirty.  
There is nobody to ask about the other omega, and he wouldn’t dare to ask anyway.  
He doesn’t hear anything from Stan or anybody else, the only person he sees is an old omega giving him some food a couple of times a day.  
She doesn’t look mad at him, but she doesn’t look happy so be with him, or really showing any feelings at all.  
On the third day, a man comes and tells him to go to Stan.  
Or, come to the coordinator as the guy says.  
He doesn’t bother with the long title in his head, having lost all respect for the alpha.  
There is no way letting omegas being abused and even maybe murdered is a good thing for the case.  
Even if the omegas are broken and can’t have babies.  
Stumbling in to the mans office, he ones again finds Keith kneeling at the same place as last time.  
This time he has a split lip, and there is a fading bruise on his left chin.  
“so, I hear you managed to make a fool of us the second time as well.  
Not obeying one of the most important allies for the sanctuary…”  
Stan looks at him with furious eyes.  
“luckily for you, the man has decided to take you with him, for some strange reason.  
He said he had made you a promise, and that he will make sure you get what you deserve. “  
Handing him some papers, he turns to Keith.  
“say good bye to your so-called friend, bitch, it’s the last time you will see his ugly face.”  
The coordinator doesn’t say anymore to him, just sits down at his desk and starts with something else.  
So, after standing there for several minutes, he gives Keith a small smile and leaves.  
He knows he is leaving this place now.  
Finally, his heaven is taken away from him, and he will be put where he belongs.  
Not knowing when he will leave, or where he is meant to go now, he returns to his bed again.  
He is sure he will not be allowed to bring his stuff with him, so he folds his clothes nicely and place them together with the rest of his stuff on the end of the bed.  
Then he sits down and wait.

Late at night, he jumps awake when a man shakes him.  
“change to this, we leave in ten minutes.  
Meet us outside, don’t be late.”  
With that the man leaves, and he hurries to do as told.  
The clothes he gets is a dark baggy jumpsuit, the coarse fabric scratching his skin.  
Outside, there is a car waiting in the dark.  
It’s the first time he has seen a car inside the sanctuary, but he knows it’s not because of him.  
A door opens in the next building, and the fat man comes out.  
He has a beautiful young female omega under his arm, laughing at something someone still inside must have said.  
“kneel”  
His knees hit the ground below in a second, making them ache.  
After the fat man, now his new owner he guesses, gets in the car, he is told to jump in the back.  
He finds himself in a small trunk, dark and smelling of oil and some kind of metallic smell.  
Like he is some kind of luggage, or some junk they have to take with them.  
He guesses they are right.  
This is his new life, better get used to it.  
A life where he will pay for his lack of control.  
A life in pain, no doubt.  
A life filled with guilt after being responsible for an omega’s death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to put warnings in the chapter notes at every chapter, to be sure you all know what to expect...  
> so.


	20. Chapter 20

They drive for several hours, at least it feels like that.

When the car stops, and someone opens the truck, he can see the sun coming up over the horizon.

Stumbling out of the car, he looks around and see that he is in the middle of a forest.

It almost feels like home, at least until he turns around and see the huge house.

The house is painted white, with lots of windows letting the daylight in.

Flowers grows in long boxes on the underside of each window, and along a path towards the front door there are massive pots with flowers in all color and sizes.

Pink and blue and yellow, reminding him of his meadow.

It's beautiful.

The door opens, and a bulky woman comes outside.

An alpha woman, he realizes.

He has never heard of alpha women before, but they obviously exist.

"what on earth have you brought with you this time, Karl."�

The deep voice makes him jump, another surprise from the massive woman now coming towards him.

"it disobeyed, made me lose my favorite toy.

I will make him pay."�

His new owner said, in a bored voice.

"hey pet, what are you standing there for...

What have I said about pets, do they stand on two legs?"�

His knees and hands hit the ground again, the pain making him bite his lip to not cry.

"the doghouse is behind the house, take him there."�

They guy helping him out of the truck tells him to follow him, so he does as carefully as he can.

He is left at the doghouse, a small house made for a dog much smaller than him.

Not that he is a dog, but...

The sun is high on the sky before someone comes out to him.

"master said you are wearing this at as long as you stay here."�

A collar is put around his neck, with a leash attach, and then they go inside.

With him on all four of course.

He gets a bowl filled with water, and he drinks it as fast as he can, afraid someone will tell him to put the bowl down and use his tongue like a real dog.

The kneeling comes natural for him now, even if it's only two days since he learned that making humans kneel was a thing.

He wants to survive.

Why, he really doesn't know.

But he will do anything to survive this.

Something inside tells him he has to.

 

He is sitting on the floor beside his owner now, while the man talks with the alpha woman and the men coming home with him.

The young omega that left the sanctuary with them, is nowhere around.

He wonders what happened to her.

"daddy!"�

Two little boys come running in to the room, jumping up and down to make his owner pick them up.

He watches the man hug and smile at his sons, wondering how their life is, with a father like that.

They look like they love him, not afraid of him or even insecure about him.

How is that possible.

"eyes on the floor"�

A kick in his back makes him flinch and lowers his eyes.

He loses himself inside his head after that, just waiting for the night and for his punishment to start.

Wanting to focus on the last months, his friends and Brad.

The good times.

But, without wanting it, he thinks about his life with Father.

The sheriff has reminded him of that life.

Spending his life pleasing Father, not knowing what else life can offer.

He was, if not satisfied, at least content and settled in that life.

Now, after having a taste of what life can be, everything inside him screams that what's happening to him no is wrong.

That he deserves better.

But he knows that's not true.

He failed, he is responsible for a woman's death.

 

And as suspected, when his owner retires for the night, he brings his "pet"� with him.

Ones again, he is tied to a bed, naked and blindfolded.

This time there's only him and his owner, but there is no less violence.

After the man comes down his throat, he finds his knife again.

The tip follows the almost healed trail from last time, twice.

So now he has twin- trails all over his torso, up his arms and down his thighs.

They make a fascinating pattern, at least his owner thinks so, running his fingers over and over them.

Blood smeared everywhere, the man pants and his hard member bobs enthusiastically.

He is sure the man is going to pound inside him next, but he gapes when his own member suddenly is surrounded by the heat of a mouth.

He feels bile in the back of his throat, his heart beating wildly. 

What is happening?

He feels shame flowing through him, this is not something he wants.

This should not feel good, he should never feel good ever again after last night!

Tears fills his eyes, his whole body shakes.

But then he notices the frustrated noises his owner makes and realizes that he isn't hard.

There is no warmth low in his stomach.

In fact, there is no want or desire or anything else suggesting that he likes this.

The man uses his tongue, he sucks and bobs his head, and nothing works.

With a deep growl, the man gives up.

He can hear the man walking around in the room, before returning to the bed.

Something caresses his skin, almost like several thin fingers running down.

Tiny balls jumping carefully along his skin.

After a few seconds, they disappear.

And when they come back, they don't caress anymore, that's for sure!

It sounds like the whip the old man at the village uses to make the stubborn donkey move.

The sound when it hits him is also almost the same, except that it is more than one sound at the time.

More than one hit at the time.

Like his owner uses several whips at the same time.

Now he understands why the donkey always made that pained sound.

And why the donkey always did as the old man told him to do after a couple of hits.

He is crying, whimpering, no he howls in pain.

The hits continue and continues, his skin burn, and stings and he have never felt anything like this before.

His howls and cries die down, only small whimpers leaving his mouth.

Finally, the whipping stops, and he tries to catch his breath.

One hand comes down to play with the blood on his torso, smearing it out like it was soap.

He can hear his owner grunt and breath harshly, so when he feels something warm and wet hit his stomach he knows right away what happened.

It is disgusting to think about, but there is no mistake.

His owner gets turned on by making somebody bleed.

By playing with their blood.

He barley manages to turn his head to the side before he empties his stomach and then everything goes black.

 

When he wakes up next, everything hurts.

He is not tied up anymore, but he is still in the same bed, naked and full of blood and other fluids.

He has to get out of here before his owner comes back.

Slowly he tries to sit up.

He is dizzy, and his stomach turns, but he manages.

Black dots dances in his eyes, and he concentrates on breathing.

In and out, slow and steady.

He has no idea how long he sits like this, but when he feels a little steadier he tries to stand.

With a hand on the wall, he somehow manages, and slowly he makes his way towards the door he hopes leads to a bathroom.

He needs to get cleaned up.

A shower, or at least some cold water.

But, before he can try to open the door, somebody grabs him from behind.

"come on, that's not the way you are going.

The doghouse is the other way."�

He has no idea who the person beside him is, but after what feels like forever, he is back at the doghouse.

That's fine.

At least he's safe here, there is no way his owner will come out her looking for him. 

He can get clan another time.

This is his new life, what he deserves.

Curling up under the roof, he drifts of to sleep.

 

The next time he opens his eyes, a bowl with some water and a piece of bread sits outside.

He is so thirsty.

His stomach turns, every movements he makes shoots pain throughout his body.

But slowly, he manages to get out of the doghouse, stretching for the bowl.

It takes him an embarrassing long time before he understands that he can't get to it because something around his neck stops him.

The collar, with the leash...

He is tied to the house, like the dog he is.

The water is too far away.

He crumbles down to the ground, just lays there breathing.

Closing his eyes to the sun he soon drifts of again.

 

Someone yanking his leash wakes him up again.

"come on, pet.

Master call for you."�

This time, he is brought directly in to the room he was in last time, his leash tied to the bed.

Kneeling, he just waits.

Soon his owner enters, a dark look in his eyes.

Behind him, the young girl that came with them from the sanctuary trembles.

She has several bruises all over her body, and is naked, but still she holds her head high when she looks down at him.

"get him hard, but don't let him come.

I'll be back in a few minutes."�

His owner leaves them.

"get on the bed, you scum.

Master wants to ride a dick for some reason, the only thing I can't give him."�

She scrunches up her nose.

"Isabel told me you couldn't control yourself, she got a really nasty bruise around her neck thanks to you.

Don't try anything like that with me, just play with yourself so you are ready when master comes back."�

Blinking, he does as she says, desperate to comply so his owner doesn't take it out on her.

But he can't get hard.

He closes his eyes, tries to think about all the fun times he and Brad had, all the delicious thing the alpha did to him.

But all he can see is the poor girl on top of him, he images how his owner put his hands around her neck and strangled her and he really have to think about something else right now!

Wait...

The woman said the omega had told her that the bruise was his fault.

That means she is alive...

He opens his eyes, his member long forgotten, and just stares at her.

The woman lives.

He didn't get her murdered...

In a daze, he sees his owner come back, he sees him yelling at the woman and beating her.

Then the owner beats him, kicks him and punches him and yells and yells and yells.

He can't feel a thing.

He can't hear a thing.

The omega is alive...

Someone comes in to the room, pulls his owner away from him, and the next he knows he is back in the doghouse.

With a little smile on his lips, he falls in to darkness.

 

_"_ _hold on, little one..._

_Soon..._

_We will be together soon..._

_I'm so close..._

_Don't give up..."�_

 

He wakes up with a hand on his shoulder, shaking him.

"hey! Pet! Wake up!"�

A voice whispers loudly.

"you got to wake up!

He... he will soon call for you, you have to get away before that!"�

Blinking his eyes open, he can se a young boy standing before him.

"you have to run!

Master said his pet was broken, mistress says broken pets it put down...

I know how mistress put down pets, the kitchen cat broke here leg last year, and... and she made me clean up...

You have to run!

No animal deserves that!

Run"�

The boy disappears, and what he said sinks in.

He doesn't want to be put down.

He wants to live.

The voice said he was close.

He has to run!

Slowly, he stands up and look around.

It's still night outside, but there is not long before the sun rises.

Looking to the forest, he knows that's the way he has to go.

The first steps are fumbling, he almost stumbles and falls several times.

But soon his legs run faster than he has ever done before, fire burning hot in his blood.

Run, run, he has to run.

Get far away.

As far as he can.

Hide.

To survive.

His breath is ragged, his lungs burns and it's difficult to see.

But he continues.

His tights trembles, he feels dizzy and can taste blood in his mouth.

But he continues.

Black spots dances before his eyes, he trembles all over, small whimpers leaving him.

But he has to continue.

Can't stop.

A sound makes him loose his footing, and he falls forward.

Closing his eyes, he knows this is it.

The end.

 

But instead of hitting the ground, strong arms surround him.

Holds him close.

And the last thing he thinks before darkness takes him is...

Safe...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me if this story will have a happy ending, and I can promise you that it will.  
> Quinn deserves that!
> 
> In fact, from here on, things will slowly go better for Quinn.
> 
> edit:  
> WARNING:
> 
> the next chapter will contain mentioning of violence


	21. Chapter 21

21

 

_Warm..._

_Safe..._

_They are moving..._

_Voices, are they talking to him?_

_What are they saying?_

_Hands on his chin, on his shoulder, on his arms._

_Warm..._

_Safe..._

_Something soft brushes over him, feels good._

_The voices are back, what do they want?_

_He just wants to stay where he is..._

_Warm..._

_Safe..._

_He feels cleaner now, laying on something soft, like a cloud._

_Hands in his hair, he really like those voices..._

_What are they saying?_

_Warm..._

_Why is he so warm?_

_He doesn't feel good anymore._

_There is pain, why are there pain?_

_He is so warm, so warm..._

_Something is missing..._

_He wants..._

_Safe..._

 

The dizziness is the first thing he notices.

His mouth is so dry, he could drink a whole river, he is sure of it.

"water..."�

Somebody carefully lifts his head and holds a cup to his mouth.

Greedy he drinks, never have water tasted so delicious before.

The cup disappears before he is finished, and he makes a displeased noise.

"careful... you don't want to drink too much too fast, it will make you sick."�

The voice is nice.

He thinks he have heard it before, where have he heard it before?

Where is he?

What happened?

Run!

He sits up so fast that he almost falls out of the bed he's in.

Arms catches him and holds him close.

There is a loud noise, what is that noise?

Someone is screaming.

He's screaming.

Why is he screaming?

Run!

He has to get away!

The master is coming!

"shh... calm down... you are safe now..."�

Safe...

Something is missing, but he still feels safe.

It's the smell.

Shivering, he tries to calm down, grabbing at the person holding him wanting to be as close as possible.

After some time, when he feels like he can breathe again, he opens his eyes.

The room he's in, is light and airy.

Everything is white.

From the curtains over the huge window, to the walls, to the bedsheets.

The person holding him, slowly helps him lay back down.

He is beautiful.

A male omega, maybe at Keith's age.

"hi...

You must be tired, scared and confused..."�

Smiling the omega helps him drink some more water, before he continues to talk.

"Ja... mm...We found you in the forest, running for your life it seemed.

You were badly wounded, as I'm pretty sure you knew yourself, and so they brought you here to heal.

I'm the pack healer, or doctor if you want."�

The man seems nervous suddenly, looking around like he is looking for somebody else.

"I don't know how you lived before, I mean, I don't know what I can...

Well..."�

The omega gives him a small smile, shaking his head a little.

"never mind, Alpha will explain more to you later...

Can you tell me your name, my love?

Just so I know what I can call you...

The rest we can talk about later.

You need to rest some more, and maybe you can manage to eat something light later?"

He doesn't know what to say.

Or what to do.

But, at least he can give the man his name.

"Quinn"�

"Quinn? my name is Logan, nice to meet you...

Or... eh... sorry...

I don't really know what to say.

I'm really really glad we finally found you, and I'm so sorry that we didn't do it earlier.

But you are here now, and that is what's important!

Welcome to the pack, I guess!"�

With a big smile the omega spreads his arms and waves them around.

"well... I'll let you sleep some more and get somebody to run to the kitchen for some food for you.

Just rest some, you are safe here.

There will always be somebody here with you, you will never be alone.

We will keep you safe, I promise you...

If there is something you need just ask."�

With another soft smile, and a little squeeze of his shoulder, Logan moves away from the bed.

But the omega doesn't go far, he can hear him somewhere behind him.

It's like the man makes more noise than necessary just to make sure he can hear him, so he can be sure that he isn't left alone.

That's nice, he guesses.

He has never in his lifetime been this confused.

But being confused is nothing new to him, and he is so tired so tired.

The omega had said something about an alpha coming to explain later, so he might as well sleep.

 

The smell of food wakes him up again.

It smells really nice, but he can feel nausea building so he doesn't think he will be able to eat any of it.

When he opens his eyes, he can see a very large man sitting beside the bed.

An alpha.

The biggest alpha he has ever seen.

Panic rises, and he curls in on himself whimpering.

"Quinn! Quinn! Hey... calm down...

It's only Alpha, he is not going to do anything to you..."

Logan hurries over to them and holds him close.

The big alpha jumps back and looks at them with huge eyes, both sadness and anger radiating from him.

"please, Quinn, I didn't mean to frighten you...

Look, I can come by later, when you have had time to heal some more.

I was just so glad when Logan told me you were awake!"

"Alpha, please stay.

I think you just surprised him, look, he has calmed down now!"

Logan pleads the big alpha.

"Can Alpha stay here, Quinn?"�

Looking at the alpha, he nods carefully.

Somehow, despite being that big and an unknown alpha, the man doesn't scare him now that he has calmed down some.

The man seems nice, his smell is relaxing, and he feels safe.

Smiling, the alpha sits down again.

And, seeing that smile, the last bit of fear disappears.

The alpha looks like sunshine, like a big happy pup.

He can't be afraid of the man.

 

"let us start again.

My name is Ronan, and I am the Alpha around here.

Do you know what that means?"

Nodding he looks at the man with a hard glare.

"I may just be an omega, but I know what an alpha is..."�

"no no no! I mean, of course you know what an alpha is, but do you know what THE alpha means?"

He shakes his head slowly...

"well...

It's doesn't really matter at this point.

Let's just say that I am the leader here, the boss, the chief or whatever you want to call it.

All you have to know, is that if there is anything you need or want or want to talk about, you can always come to me.

You are safe here, whatever made you so scared, whoever hurt you so bad, it will never get to you here.

The pack will protect you."�

Pack...

He wonders what that means, but his head hurt, and he is so tired.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, when his stomach rumbles loud.

Laughing, Logan comes back with a steaming bowl full of food.

"here, you can talk more with Quinn later Alpha, lets just get some food in his stomach first."�

Sitting down beside him, the alpha brings a spoon of broth to his mouth.

It feels strange that the chief feeds him, but his arms are so heavy that he doesn't think he can manage to eat by himself.

Timidly he opens his mouth for the man.

It tastes even better than it smells, and he hums and closes his eyes.

But that makes him dizzy, so he opens them fast again!

His stomach turns, and all he has time for before the broth comes back up is turning his head.

Tears runs down his face while his stomach cramps again and again.

His whole body trembles, and he whines pathetically.

A strong arm grabs his shoulders holding him up, a warm hand to his forehead to steady his head.

When the cramps stop, he sags against a broad solid chest.

The arms move, one making calming movements up and down his spine, the other caressing his head.

A rumbling noise, like a growl and purr mixed together, vibrates through the man he holds on to.

That, together with the smell and the warmth calms him down to the point that he drifts of to sleep.

He can feel some movements, the warmth disappears, and he makes a displeased sound, but soon its back again.

 

He is so warm, he feels safe and everything is better.

The ground he lays on moves slowly up and down, a rhythmic sound repeat itself again and again and again.

If he could stay like this forever, he would.

Voices from afar disturbs him, he doesn't want to wake up from this dream!

"the concussion should have been gone a long time ago, why isn't it healed?"

Oh... that voice...

"it has been almost two weeks, I know the heat would slow things down, but..."�

"calm down... he is waking up..."�

The voice rumbles through the bed and he whines.

"he will be fine, it will just take more time.

Remember how he looked when he came here, how broken his body was.

Really, he has come a long way already!"

That's Logan...

Footsteps leaves, and a door closes hard making him jump a little...

"mates"�

The bed rumbles again, and this time he opens his eyes.

It takes a few seconds, but then he realizes that he in fact doesn't lay on a bed, but on the alpha.

The alpha!

He is using the chief as a bed!

He tries to jump up, but strong arms hold him close.

"shh... calm down little one...

Your safe..."�

He can do nothing else than listen, the voice rumbling trough the alpha driving all the fears and worries away.

Laying back down, he breaths and try to fully wake up.

"Alpha, can you sit up, and place Quinn so he can rest against you while I try to feed him again?"�

Logan says bringing over a bowl with food.

Before he knows it, he is sitting between the alphas legs, with his back against the alphas chest.

"this time Quinn, try to keep your eyes open so you don't puke on Alpha again."�

Logan laughs, and he can feel rumbling in the chest behind him to, so the panic rising calms down before it even begins.

But he still feels ashamed.

Vomiting over the chief, the first time he meets him.

"you have a concussion, it's not your fault."�

The alpha tells him, stroking up and down his arms.

"being close to your alpha helps, moving slow and not close your eyes will make it easies to keep to food.

Let's try again."�

Carefully, he manages to eat 4 spoons of broth before he has to stop.

But he keeps it down, and soon he feels better.

"do you remember what happened before we found you?"�

Before he can answer, he starts to tremble and his heart speeds up.

Pulling him closer, the alpha hurries to tell him that he doesn't have to say anything about it now, just say yes or no.

"we would like to know another time, when you fell okay to talk about it, but for now the main reason I asked is to check your health.

When we found you, you had a concussion, a broken wrist and your body was covered in wounds and bruises."

Memories of pain, fear and humiliation fills him and only the presence of the alpha keeps the panic under control.

"yeah... I remember, but it's blurry..."�

He hides his face in the alphas chest, not caring that he really doesn't know the man.

Or that he is the chief here, and not his own cuddle partner.

The calming rumbling the alpha made earlier comes back, and soon he drifts back to sleep.

 

" _I'm here..._

_Your safe now..._

_I will see you soon..."_


	22. Chapter 22

22

 

The next few days, he spends the of the time majority sleeping.

He sleeps alone in his bed now, but more often than not, the alpha is sitting in a chair beside the bed when he wakes up.

The alpha insist that he calls him by his name, Ronan, but Logan never uses his name.

When he asks why the omega always calls him alpha, the omega always looks at him and says.

"he's the alpha, of course I call him alpha!"�

Which doesn't make sense.

So, he decides to ask the alpha instead.

It feels wrong to call the man by his name, when Logan doesn't.

The alpha usually helps him eat dinner, feeding him like he is a small child.

His arms, or whole body actually, feels heavy and powerless, so he is thankful for the help.

It's a strange job for a chief, but a lot of things at this place is strange.

There is so much he wants to ask about, but he is so tired and always falls asleep before he can ask the alpha anything.

He feels useless, a burden, and he doesn't understand why they take such good care of him.

Why they brought a weak broken omega to their home, making their doctor take care of him all day long, every day for days.

How long have he been here now?

And what would they want from him when he is healed enough to get out of this bed?

He doesn't know and are afraid to ask.

 

Another ting he notice, is that alpha Ronan spends less and less time with him.

That's about the only thing he really understands, because he must have a lot of better thing to do with his time then babysit an unknown omega.

Maybe the alpha wants to have him for a plaything later?

But that doesn't explain why the man feeds him or smiles at him all the time.

Whatever it is that they want from him, he will find out later.

And whatever that it, he will give to them.

There is no way that it will be anything worse than what he has already been though.

 

As the days go by, it gets more difficult to sleep, especially at night.

When he slept in the alphas arms, he never dreamed anything.

Now nightmares keep bothering him, waking him up several times a night.

He wakes up terrified, but without knowing why, since he can't remember any of the dreams.

The lack of sleep at night makes him cranky in the day, and Logan looks at him amused when he grumbles about his pillow being too soft or the food too good.

So, when he closes his eyes at the fifth night, he knows the sleep will be disturbed.

 

_Everything around him is gray._

_The sky is gray._

_The ground is gray._

_The woman standing close to the trees is gray._

_Her hair, her dress, her skin._

_All gray._

_She opens her mouth, letting out a shrieking laughter._

_The sound hurts his ears._

_Why is she laughing?_

_Gray tears fall from her gray eyes._

_Bruises forms around her neck, dark gray, almost black._

_"run..."�_

_Where did that voice come from?_

_The woman closes her eyes, her head falling to one side._

_Something runs down from her neck, and it's not gray._

_It's red._

_Blood red._

_"_ _run!"�_

_The voice is screaming now, but his feet is stuck._

_Looking around, he can see the trees coming closer._

_How can trees come closer?_

" _run! Run! Run!"�_

_The trees around him runs past him._

_He feels the hair in his neck stand up._

_He has to run._

_He can't move._

_The trees run faster, almost flying past him._

_His breath is shallow, his lungs burns._

_Fear builds in his mind._

_He has to run._

_But he is stuck._

_Terror surrounds him._

_He panics._

_Run!!_

 

He sits up, looking around blindly.

The room he is in have never been this dark before, why can't he see anything?

Is he still dreaming?

Slowly his brain notices a smell.

A fantastic smell, instantly calming him down.

Slowing down his frantic heart and evening out his breath.

The smell of safe, of home.

Curling around it, he smiles.

Better than the alpha's is all he thinks before he falls asleep again.

And the next time he wakes up, its daylight outside, and he feels refreshed and happy.

He finds a huge pillow in the bed that wasn't there last night, and it smells heavenly...

Where the pillow comes from, he has no idea, but he loves it.

He smiles at Logan, enjoy his breakfast and then ask if it's possible to take a shower or a bath.

A big smile crosses the omegas face, and soon he finds himself in a fantastic shower.

He needs help from the omega, to weak to both stand and clean himself, but...

The water is warm, the soaps smells like the ocean, and the towels are soft and huge.

And back in the bed, his new favorite pillow lays hidden below his sheets, to keep the smell lasting longer.

 

Later, when alpha Ronan comes back to help him with dinner, he feels so much better that he takes the bowl from the man and eats his food without help

As always, it tastes delicious.

If he continues to eat like this, he will get fat.

The alpha laughs, he must have said that out loud.

He finally has enough energy to ask the alpha some questions, there is so much he wants to know.

He decides to start with the alpha himself.

"why is it that you want me to call you by your name, when Logan calls you alpha?"

The alpha smiles at him.

"I will come back to that Quinn, but first I have to ask you some questions myself.

I promise to answer everything you want afterwards, but I need to know more about you first.

Like, what way did you grow up?

I mean, did you grow up in a city or a small village, or something else?"�

Wondering why his background have anything to do with what to call the alpha, he tells the alpha a little about his life in the village.

Growing up serving Father, staying in the house, not having a lot to do with anybody else.

The alpha looks at him, opens his mouth and then closes it again, before continuing.

"what do you know about the Disaster, how life was before and how it changed afterwards?"

He shakes his head a little and tells the alpha that the only thing he knows is what Father had said.

That the world became a dangerous place, and that the work of the elders is the only thing saving them all.

Giving him a small smile, the alpha takes a deep breath and starts talking.

"before the Disaster, most people lived an easy life drowning in wealth.

They only cared about themselves, wanting more and more without a thought about tomorrow.

In their greed, they destroyed more and more of the land, either with sucking out every resource they could, or with warfare.

Or both.

Groups and countries fighting over land, or about religion.

A lot of innocent people died, so many at ones that they were left out in the open to rotten.

Nobody cared or had the strength to burry them, just leaving them where they died and moving on.

When somebody died of sickness, the disease spread to the water, trough small animals eating the bodies, and then back to people that drank that water or ate that animal.

Diseases spread like fire, and together with the wars, it left waste areas depopulated.

This continued for years and years, before the human race was so weakened that they almost died out.

When the epidemics finally calmed down, there was little to fight about.

People were scattered throughout the world in smaller groups, trying to make themselves a new life.

Some choosing to live in small villages closed off from the rest of the world, some people stayed in the cities and continued to live a life as close to what they had always done.

Some people lived like outlaws, stealing what they wanted and continue the old way of thinking.

As if that way of life had been successful before..."

Shacking his head, the alpha looks lost in thought for a minute.

 

"After a while, when the planted ones again started to heal, a new kind of people emerged.

Some with extra strength and sight, some with the increased ability to have children, even if they were male.

All of them almost immune to diseases, making them better soothed for surviving.

That is us enhanced people, as you know."�

Smiling, the alpha patted his arm like he wanted to calm him down.

But he was calm, confused and a little overwhelmed, but calm.

He smiled back to the alpha, hoping that that would make the man continue.

Everything he said was interesting, but nothing answered his question...

"When people first found out about us, the rumors said that some crazy scientists created us in a laboratory of some kind, to try to save the human race.

But that's not true.

It's mother earth, our own planet, that made us.

We are born with an extra DNA, an extra component in our body if you will.

And we share that DNA with another species here on earth, the canines.

Nobody knows how it happened, but scientists have found out that our extra DNA match with those of the wolves."

He blinks, trying to prosses everything the alpha had said.

The alpha stays quiet, letting him think about everything as long as he wants or needs.

It is a lot to think about, there is no way he can understand it all in one day.

So, he asks the first thing that comes to his mind.

"but... but what have this to do with what I should call you?"�

Out of everything bouncing around in his head, that is what he asks.

The alpha laughs.

"there is even more I have to explain to you for you to understand, I'm sorry.

This is a lot.

At the beginning, there was not a lot of us enhanced people.

Many of them grew up alone, not knowing what they were, just that they were different.

But as more enhanced people were born, people started to talk about these strange humans.

Rumors spread, and slowly enhanced people found each other, finding comfort together.

That's when they found out about you omegas having a uterus.

It must have been a shock the first time a male got pregnant!"

They both laughed of that.

He wondered what the people in the village would say if he had gotten pregnant while he was there.

That thought chased the laughter away.

But not wanting to disturb the alpha with his negativity, he forced the thoughts away.

"Scientists started to look for answers then, and when they found the connection to wolves, things made more sense.

The strong instincts to protect, the need for physical touch, the tight friendships formed between us, and all the other things that makes us different.

That make us feel abnormal among normal people.

Like we don't belong out there in the normal world.

So, with that knowledge, some alphas and omegas decided that they wanted to live more like they extra DNA, follow their instincts instead of suppressing them.

Groups living together like one big family, or pack.

We live in a pack.

And, like in a pack of wolves, there is one alpha that it the boss.

The Alpha.

And in this pack, that is me.

So, I said you could call me by my name, since the concept of pack life is unknown to you."

Now he feels overwhelmed.

And so so tired...

"take a nap, you are still healing.

We can talk more later, when you have had the change to think things through."

He curls up around the new pillow that smells so heavenly, eyes closing without him wanting them to.

Just before he falls asleep, he whispers to the alpha.

"I will call you Alpha Ronan, then..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally has my health let me finish this chapter...  
> A lot of talking and a lot of information going on here, but...
> 
> Hope you like it!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!
> 
> I had some health problems, but I'm better now, so I hope to be back to normal intervals between new chapters!
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little longer than normal ...

23

 

It feels like he is in heaven.

Soft clouds surround him, caressing him and keeping him warm.

He doesn't want to wake up, he wants to stay here.

In his little cocoon, closed off to the world.

But why?

The new world he is living in is a good world, there is no reason to hide from it.

Slowly, he opens his eyes.

The sun shines in through the curtains, Logan is humming softly.

His nose is buried in his favorite yellow pillow.

Wait.

The pillow was white yesterday, wasn't it?

Shaking his head, he sits up and turn toward the omega taking care of him.

It's three days since the conversation with Alpha Ronan, and he have spent that time thinking and healing.

He is well enough to take a shower by himself and he eats all his meals sitting in a chair by the window.

The same chair that Alpha Ronan used to sit in, the one that looked almost to small for the huge alpha.

For him, the chair is big.

A big, soft chair, letting him curl up and look at the trees outside.

He learned at lot that night when Alpha Ronan turned teacher on him and gave him a history lesson.

But he is still working on processing it all, the world is so much bigger than he grew up to believe.

The thought that alphas and omegas share a DNA with the wolves still freaks him out.

But, he can see why Alpha Ronan and the rest of this pack have chosen to live like this.

He thinks.

At least that part of enhanced people finding comfort in staying together.

Thoughts of his life in the village comes to his mind, how lonely he must have been.

He can't remember being lonely, but the thought of living in that village with just normal people gives him the shiver now.

 

His strength is coming back, at last, and last night Logan had promised him that they could go for a walk outside today.

So, after a quick breakfast, he puts on the new clothes he found on his bed some days ago and of they go.

The sun feels fantastic on his face, and the smell of the forest is refreshing.

A smell that doesn't quite blend in with the rest, makes him stop.

Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath to try to figure it out, he can almost taste it.

He turns around, to where the smell is stronger, and takes another breath.

It smells like a forest, but not this forest and not in the summer?

Confused, he opens his eyes.

In the shadow of a tree, a man is reading a book.

The man suddenly turns his head towards him, then freeze. 

Something burns low in his stomach.

He wants to smile to the man, but Logan turns him around and tells him they should go back inside.

And before he can protest, the omega gives him a small push on his lover back to make him move.

He doesn't want to, but he can feel his legs getting weak, so he complies.

All the way back, he can feel the man's eyes on him.

The burning in his stomach not easing up before they get inside.

Strange.

He has never felt like this, it's kind of how he felt when he was with Brad, but not quite like that.

Deciding that it's a good feeling, he focuses on managing to walk the rest of the way to his bed.

With wobbly legs and shaking arms, he sinks down in his private heaven with a relieved sound.

Closing his eyes, he soon falls asleep.

 

_He is in a forest._

_Green trees, green grass and a blue sky._

_He feels calm._

_There is nothing to be afraid of anymore._

_He can just sit here and enjoy the breeze playing with his hair._

_The sun warming his face._

_Just sit here and wait._

 

Whispering voices wakes him up.

There is three of them, Logan, Alpha Ronan and a voice ha doesn't recognize.

He can't hear what they are talking about, but he doesn't care.

The good feeling from the dream stays with him, and he smiles before he opens his eyes.

Alpha Ronan is sitting in the chair, talking to Logan and someone he can't see from his bed.

But now that he is awake, he knows who it is.

It's the man from under the tree...

He sits up and turn towards the voice, wanting, - no needing to look at him.

Deep blue eyes meet him, and the rest of the world fades away.

He can't breathe, he feels dizzy and warm and...

Suddenly the man turns around and almost runs out of the room.

Blinking, he furrows his brows and tries to comprehend what happened.

"Quinn, Alpha is here to talk to you."�

Logan touches his shoulder and he snaps out of it.

Shaking his head, he turns to Alpha Ronan.

"Logan tells me that you are getting better each day, and that you soon will be well enough to get out of here"

Fear runs down his spine.

He knew this was temporary, but he had hoped he could stay here a little bit longer.

But he doesn't belong here, the pack have done so much to heal him without needing to, so he has to be grateful for that.

He knows that.

That doesn't make the pain in his chest go away, or the tears in his eyes.

Suddenly strong arms surround him, and the safe smell of Alpha Ronan fills his nose.

"hey... hey... why are you crying?"�

Alpha Ronan sounds confused.

"I don't understand, being well enough to get out of here, to meet the rest of the pack and find your place here is a positive thing?

Isn't it?"�

Slowly he raises his head and look at Alpha Ronan.

Find his own place?

Meet the pack?

What...

Alpha Ronan stiffen up and sucks in a breath...

"Quinn... you know that you can stay here?

I wasn't going to send you away...

O my...

You thought we would throw you out, didn't you..."�

Alpha Ronan push him back a little, just enough so that their eyes can meet.

"You have a place here in the pack if you want...

I can't force you to stay of course, but the way you reacted right now makes me believe that you want to stay"�

Alpha Ronan gives him a small smile, and he manages to give him a quick nod.

Pulling him close again and wrapping him in his warmth, Alpha Ronan whispers to himself.

"if I let you go, I wouldn't live another day..."�

He thinks he can hear laughter in Alpha Ronan's voice, but that doesn't make any sense.

This day have been a mess.

New feelings, strange feelings, familiar feelings and rapidly changing feelings.

He is so tired, all he wants now is to not feel anything for a while.

Grabbing his favorite pillow, he curls around it in Alpha Ronan's lap and closes his eyes.

He thinks he can hear Alpha Ronan laugh again, but before he can ask why, he is fast asleep...

 

The next morning, he finds himself curled around his white pillow wondering what happened last night.

When he remembers how he curled up in Alpha Ronan's lap to sleep, like a little kid, he turns red.

He wants to hide under his sheets and stay there forever.

But, the smell of breakfast makes him change his mind, so he gets up instead.

A smiling Logan puts his food on the table and sits down across him.

When he has finished the meal, Logan clears his voice.

"I think it's time for the two of us to have a talk...

And before you freak out again, it's not a bad talk"�

Squishing one of his hands, Logan calms him down.

"it's just in a couple of days, you will move to your new room, and I think we should talk about all that you have been trough since you got here."

He looks at the omega.

"Do you know how long you have been here?"

He thinks about it.

Maybe a week to ten days?

When he tells Logan this, the omega shakes his head.

"you have been here for more than three weeks.

When you first came here, you were unconscious, full of wounds and bruises.

The little skin that wasn't covered in blood, old or new, was pale as ash.

And you were burning up.

I cleaned you up, at some point you woke up, but you didn't make any sense.

It was obvious that you have been through a big trauma, but you were so calm.

You looked around you, meeting eyes of people you have never seen before, like you had known them your whole life.

No fear, you didn't even look nervous.

You didn't seem interested in us, just looked at us blankly.

That confused me for a while, even with your concussion, you shouldn't be that out of it.

It took a while before I understood that you had a heat.

Do you know if it was time for your heat?"�

Again, he turned bright red.

"I... I don't have heats..."�

"what?

Well, I can tell you that you had a heat when you came here, believe me.

Not a normal one, but non the less a heat."

Holding on to both his hands now, Logan gives him a firm look.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about what happened to you before you came here, but there is just one thing...

When you had your heat, there was one thing missing...

Normally when in heat, the main thing is the... extreme need ripping through your body.

There was no sign of that under your heat.

Pain and fever yes, but you didn't even smell aroused."�

He was shivering now, all the shame forgotten.

All he could think of was that horrible last night before leaving the sanctuary.

"I was going to ask if something happened to you that could explain this, but there is no need to ask now."

Logan have tears in his eyes, he has to look away.

"Do you want to talk about it?"�

Shaking his head and closing his eyes he tries to breath.

But his lungs aren't working anymore.

There is no way he can get any air inside them, he can't breathe!

His ears are ringing, he is dizzy, and he have to though up.

Before he knows what's happening, the world turns around and he falls to the floor.

He need air!

In the distant he hears a door open and feet's running towards him.

Someone is shouting, the wonderful smell from his pillow fills his nose and someone gather him in their arms.

He can breathe again...

The shouting and movements and everything else disappear.

He is safe...

 

Somehow, he ends up in his bed, still in someone's arms.

He sticks his nose where the smell is strongest and holds on to whoever it is.

Slowly his body calms down, and he almost falls asleep...

He doesn't move, doesn't opens his eyes, just takes deep breaths and relaxes.

 

There is still talking around him, not shouting anymore but the voice rumbling through the body beside him feels angry.

A strange purring noise comes from his chest, he has no idea how he makes it or why.

He doesn't even care, because he can feel the body beside him calm down.

All the voices disappear, and he smiles.

This is heaven...

He stays like that for a long time.

 

At some point he falls asleep, and when he wakes up again he is alone in the bed.

But that's okay, because now his whole bed smells like him!

With a smile, he takes a deep breath of heaven before he opens his eyes.

Alpha Ronan is sitting there, in the chair, with a serious expression on his face.

Furrowing his own eyes, he sits up and looks around.

Its just Alpha Ronan and him in the room, not even Logan is here.

"what happened?"�

He asks the alpha.

"you had a panic attack..."�

Alpha Ronan's face doesn't change.

"we can talk about why that happened another time, but...

Do you remember what happened afterwards?"�

He feels his face heat up a little when he nods.

"I remember somebody holding me, making it possible to breath again and calming me down."

That makes him stop.

How come somebody he doesn't know holding him calms him down?

And, when he thinks about it...

Why did this person come running at the same time as he needed him?

He asks Alpha Ronan exactly that.

The alpha exhales and looks down.

"after the scientists first found out about the DNA we share with the wolves, they went on to research the different traits we have in common.

You know, the things with strength, smell, hearing, health and of course the alpha and omega dynamic.

Rumors said that every enhanced person had their own perfect match.

The one and only person that could make you complete."�

He couldn't stop the small giggle.

It sounded like something from the books the young omegas loved at the sanctuary.

The ultimate love story, the happy ever after, the utopia, the fantasy.

Alpha Ronan also smiled.

"sounds like a book written for young romantic omegas, doesn't it?

But, there is some truth in that rumor.

Wolves mates for life, when they find the one they want there is no way back for them.

And, to some degree, that trait apply to us too.

 

Enhanced people can choose whoever they want, and there is not uncommon that people change partners, just like among normal peoples.

But, the say that every alpha and omega have a perfect match out there, a soulmate just like in the books.

That when meet your mate, you will know right away.

Some say that they feel it, like a pull inside you or something like that.

Some people say that their smell tells them that they are perfect for each other.

They say that if you let your instincts guide you, you will find that one person, - your mate.

A lot of people living in packs like ours, sees this as the ultimate goal.

In some families, they have a tradition they call the seeking.

That's when alphas, after they turn eighteen, leaves their packs to travel across country for a year seeking their mate.

In our pack, about half of us have been through the seeking."

The alpha blushes, and he smiles back to him.

 "did you find your mate, Alpha Ronan?"�

The alpha turns bright red, and nods.

"I traveled together with three of my best friends, and after nearly a year it was just two of us left.

The last day before we were going back to the pack we lived with at the time, this amazing smell made my head spin.

I started to look around me, desperately looking to find her, and hit someone in the head with my elbow.

You can guess who it was..."�

They are both laughing now, he can see it, this goofy alpha nocking out his one and only... 

"so, out of you four alphas it was only one that didn't find their mate?

That's incredible!"�

He gives his alpha a big smile, but the alpha is back to being serious again.

"actually, the two first guys fell in love with each other, but that's a whole different story.

And, my best friend actually sorts of found his mate too...

 

We were traveling through a forest, on the way from one village to another, when he suddenly freezes.

He was sniffing the air like a dog and started running full speed in between the trees.

I had no choice but running after him, shouting at him to slow down.

After an hour or something, it felt like a day at that speed, we entered a meadow.

There was nothing there, but an old abandoned cottage.

But before I could ask my friend what happened, he was running again.

The next time he stopped, we were in a small village we didn't know about.

It was in the middle of the night, no one to see, and definitely no place to rent a room for the night.

So, after some bribing and threatening, I managed to get him back to the meadow, so we could spend the night there.

The next day, when we went back to the village, the sent was gone.

We were able to follow it in to a small ally, where it vanished.

My friend was devastated.

He tried to be happy for me when I met Gwen, but I could see how sad he was.

 

For the next year and a half, he was miserable.

Every time people heard about his tracking all through the forest, they said he was crazy.

There is not possible to smell something that far away, they said.

But I saw him when it happened, and I know it was true.

He could smell his mate from an incredible distance.

 

Then, about six months ago, we where on a trip to the city to catch some supplies, when he suddenly froze again.

The smell was back, and he went wild!

He spends more than a week there, sniffing around and trying to find out where his mate was.

I had to go back here, we had only lived in this pack for a few months, so I had to be here.

When he got back here, he told me that he had located his mate to a breeding factory outside town.

A place called the sanctuary..."�

His jaw drops.

There is no way...

His heart beats so fast, his breathing went shallow.

Desperate eyes look at the alpha.

"yes Quinn...

You are my best friends mate."


	24. Chapter 24

 24

 

"I have a mate?"�

The alpha nods.

"But...

If he is my mate, why isn't he here with me?"�

This doesn't make sense, if this guy has spent so much time looking for him, why isn't he here now...

"I don't understand, Alpha Ronan..."�

A heavy lump grows in his stomach.

He has only known about the concept of mates for a few hours, but he is pretty sure this isn't what he is supposed to feel after being told ha have one.

A mate, here in the pack.

But not here with him.

When he looks back at the alpha, he sees the serious face is still there.

"We don't know a lot of what happened to you before we found you, but we know you have been through a lot of traumas.

We know you have spent time at the sanctuary, that place is so fucked up...

And my friend, he...

Let's just say that I can see where he comes from, but I don't really agree with him in this."�

The alpha pauses and take a deep breath.

"He thinks he is wrong for you, that he doesn't deserve you and that you are better left without you..."�

His jaw falls open, his eyes grows wide.

"He left a few hours ago, and I don't know to where."�

He tries to swallow, but his throat is dry.

Alpha Ronan continues to talk to him, but the only thing he can hear is the blood rushing through his ears.

He feels...

He feels nothing.

The rollercoaster of emotions from the last couple of days makes him dizzy.

"I want to be alone now, if that's okay Alpha Ronan."�

He doesn't wait for an answer, just hides under his sheets with his face in his favorite pillow.

The scent of his mate calms him some.

Of course, his mate would be so kind to scent mark a pillow for him, how kind of him.

Before he left him, that is.

Closing his dry eyes, he tries to think of nothing.

Sleep doesn't find him, no wonder since he has slept half the day away already... 

But he refuses to come out of his hideout, staying in his cocoon of fabric and smell.

Soon the smell would disappear, the scent his mate kindly got him hooked on before leaving him to dry.

 

The next couple of days he stays in bed, hiding in his cocoon.

Logan tries to encourage him to take a shower or walk around some, but in the end he barley manage to eat.

After a night full of nightmares, the smell of his own sweat is overpowering the smell from his mate, and he decides that enough is enough.

He has managed until now without a mate, in fact he didn't even know mates existed, so there is no reason for him to give up now.

So, after a long hot shower, he asks Logan to take him outside for a walk.

Outside he takes a deep breath and relaxes when the smell of forest and grass fills his lungs.

Turning towards the tree where his mate had been sitting the last time, despite knowing he won't be there, a small ache in his chest makes him stop.

He had been so close, and now...

No...

He is not going down that road again, he will not spend another minute feeling sorry for him self over loosing something he never had in the first place.

Instead, he spends half an hour slowly walking around the area, talking to Logan.

He explains how there is one main building where almost everything is located, from the infirmary and offices, to common rooms, a spacious kitchen/ eating area, and a huge gym filled with every equipment anybody would want.

There is even a big dormitory at the first floor, where most of the pack lives.

In addition, there is several smaller houses spread around the main building.

Some cottages for couples or families that want to live outside the dormitory, some guesthouses, and even some small cottages made to give privacy under heats.

 

A little shy, Logan tells him that several cottages and about half the rooms in the dormitory is empty, since this space is made for a much lager pack than they are.

Something about being a new pack and inheriting the ground or something.

He doesn't really listen anymore, busy looking around.

And all around, there is soft grass, old trees and flowerbeds full of colors.

Some kids are playing in a small stream while the adults watch over them.

After walking around the main building, his legs are wobbly again, and they hurry back to the infirmary.

 

The rest of the day, he sits in the chair trying to not think about his mate.

He tries to focus on everything that have happened after he woke up here, but a lot of that involved the man.

Like how he ended up here in the first place...

In desperation, he thinks about his life before he got here.

But the thoughts of his life with Father, makes him wonder about how his mate had been there looking for him.

Thinking of his life in the sanctuary, his friends and Brad, somehow ends up in him thinking about how his mate had found his smell in the city and sniffed him.

 

Before he manages to go crazy, Alpha Ronan comes in.

"Hey Quinn!

Are you up for eating dinner with the pack?"�

The thought of meeting the rest of the pack is scary, but anything is better than sitting here brooding.

So, he says yes, and soon finds himself sitting next to the alpha around a huge wooden table.

There is in total 18 people sitting there, the tree children he saw earlier, and the rest in all different ages and genders.

At the head of the table, an old man with no hair and a long white beard smile at him.

After they all have settled, Alpha Ronan introduced everyone.

Everybody seems nice and welcoming, but it's too much for him.

There is no way he will remember any of their names tomorrow, but he smiles and nods to everybody.

Dinner tastes as good as all the food have done here, or maybe even better.

There is definitely nice to eat together with somebody else, after all the time alone in the infirmary.

But it really drains him, so he soon says good night and go back to his cocoon.

 

The next day, Alpha Ronan takes him to his new room.

It's almost identical to the one he had in the sanctuary, with a bed and a door with a lock.

He smiles to himself thinking about his reaction when he first saw his room in the sanctuary.

There is no way he will sleep on the floor this time!

 

Slowly, he starts to get in a new routine.

Here, there is no one ordering you to do certain jobs, but everybody choose between what needs to be done, and picks what they like the best.

The old man with the white beard, Owen, loves cocking, which explains why his cloths are getting a bit tight.

He himself, goes back to cleaning, finding it as calming as he did at the sanctuary.

As time goes, he spends more and more time in the common rooms, talking and laughing with whoever is there.

He learns that the kids names are Rose, Benjamin and Daniel.

The little girl is five and a half years old omega, and the little sister of Daniel.

The boys are both eight, Daniel an alpha and Benjamin a small timid old fashioned normal human boy.

He is Owen's grandson, although obviously not by blood.

There is a sad story behind that, he can see it in everybody's eyes, but he doesn't dare ask for it.

 

Gwen, Alpha Ronan's mate, is a small woman with laughter in her eyes and a big belly telling him that there's gone be more children running around soon.

He can't stop staring at it, wondering if this is how Mira looks like now.

Or, maybe she has already have the small baby in her arms, with all that have happened he isn't sure how long it's been since he saw her last.

Time has not been important to him, ever.

With father, he didn't need to know more than when to have dinner ready, and when to focus on collecting wood or look for mushroom and berries.

At the sanctuary, there was so much happening, so the weeks just flew by without him noticing.

Here in the pack, after to first couple of weeks spent at the infirmary, he has kind of just... taken one day at the time.

Going trough his new routine, again.

Trying to adjust to a new life, again.

He does his share of work, he talks to the others, play with the kids and he smiles a lot.

But inside, he doesn't feel anything.

It's difficult to find a reason to continue this, a reason to live.

Maybe leaving is for the best, leaving this life, or maybe even leaving his life..."

 

A small hand grabs his, and then he feels something move under his hand.

Shocked, he realizes that it's the baby kicking he can feel under his hand.

With huge eyes and a slack jaw, he looks up at Gwen.

A warm feeling spreads through him, the thoughts of a new life soon to be makes him smile.

And for the first time in a long time, the smile is genuine.

 

One night, the topic of scenting and smelling different emotion comes up, and the old thoughts of how stupid he is comes creeping.

A woman quickly notices he goes quiet and sits down beside him.

"I grew up in a small village not fare away from here, and I remember how lost I felt when I first came here with my mate.

They talked about how one woman smelled pregnant, taking bets of how long it would take before she discovered it herself."

She gives him a small smile and continues.

"It turned out that although we are all born with an enhanced nose, we have to learn to use it.

There took me some time, and a lot frustration, but soon I understood the concept.

Now, I too can smell emotions and stuff, although not as well as the ones born in a pack.

Josefine is good at teaching that kind of things."

With a wink and a big knowing smile, she got up and left the room.

 

And a couple of days later, he shyly walks up to the girl named Josefine to ask for help.

The girl is about his age, and happy to help him.

After that, he spends almost every afternoon practicing with or without her.

In the beginning he could only smell the unique scent of the different peoples, but he could not describe what they smell or even if they are omegas or alphas.

He feels stupid and worthless, wanting to give up, but he can't make himself tell that to Josefine.

The girl is so optimistic, her bright eyes dancing with pride when he manages the smallest task she gives him.

So, he decides to humor her, let her try to do the impossible and make him functional like the rest of them.

 

Between cleaning, working with his smell and socializing, days fly bye.

And he tells himself that he doesn't have time or want to think about his mate.

Sometimes he even believes himself.

During the days he manages to suppress the thoughts, but at night he dreams about him.

And the nights he falls asleep without the tears and the constant pressure in his chest, he wakes up screaming in fear.

He doesn't know if he prefers to dream about strong arms holding him close and a deep voice whispering sweet nothings in his ears.

Or the ones he doesn't remember leaving his trembling in fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!
> 
> the next chapter contains nightmares with violens and non/con


	25. Chapter 25

25

 

Every Saturday, the pack drags all their sheets and pillows in to the common room, and after a night of movies or games, they sleep there together.

People cuddle close, using each other as pillows or simply basks in the body heat from their friends.

They call it bonding-nights, a night to build stronger friendships and a tighter pack.

It's supposed to make the pack healthier, the closeness reducing stress and irritation between the members.

Or maybe that's just an excuse for having childish sleepovers and forgetting the hardship of the grownups life.

He soon finds that he loves those nights, pressed close to other alphas and omegas.

Waking up with his head in Alpha Ronan's lap, with an arm slung across his waist and someone curled up to his back, leaves him calm and relaxed for days.

He never wakes up with a nightmare during those nights, which is a great bonus.

 

One day, when he and Josefine works on sorting through the different smells outdoors, he thinks he gets a whiff of a familiar and addictive smell.

But as soon as he notices it, it's gone.

There have been almost two months since his mate left, and he likes to think that he has gotten over the betrayal.

But in moments like this the ache in his chest blossom up until it takes his breath away.

Josefine gives him a look of concern, so he pushes the feelings away to focus on the task ahead.

Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath.

He can smell the pine trees, which when he thinks about it reminds him somewhat of his mate and may explain why he loves it so much.

At his left, he can smell a mixture of sweet and airy smells, that he knows comes from the pact of flowers growing behind the closest cottage.

Taking another breath, thinks he can smell something humid, maybe a small creak or...

No, wait, it smells like rain, like there is going to pore down soon!

With a frustrated huff he opens his eyes and look up at the blue sky and bright sun.

His nose is never going to work like it should.

This is really a waste of time, his and Josefine's.

But when he tells Josefine that he thought he smelled rain, she confirms that she too can smell that.

Blinking, he tries to wrap his head around the thought that it's possible to smell rain before the sky turns dark.

There's not even one small white cloud so see!

Just blue sky and the bright sun.

Then a familiar smell makes him turn around and give Owen a big smile.

The old alpha smells of sugar and cinnamon, matching his love for cooking.

Wait...

He has never been able to break down the different smells in Owen's scent before, maybe he is capable of learning to use his nose properly after all!

 

Later that afternoon, with the rain making everything gray, one of the alphas comes stumbling in to the common room with rosy cheeks.

He has never seen the man before, but knew he just came back from his Seeking, with a young male omega as a mate.

"Heat... he's in heat... what do I do?"�

The man looks at Logan, fear and excitement mixing in his scent.

"Calm down Clint, you knew this was coming, in fact you have been waiting for it for days now!"

Quiet laughter comes from a corner and somebody wishing him good luck follows the alpha and Logan when they leave.

People starts to talk about how nervous they had been before their first heat with their mate.

The rush home after they found each other to make it back in time.

Some stories about some unknown mates that didn't managed it and had to spend the heat in some rented room or even hiding somewhere in the forest.

Horror stories filled with fear, danger and violence.

Just the thought of losing control like in a heat without any safety makes him dizzy.

Not that he has a lot of experience about heats, but the faint memory from the time with the sheriff is enough...

Soon conversations around him moves to other things, but he can't let go of this.

Something about all of this feels important, but he can't pinpoint what.

Wait...

The omegas go in heat shortly after they meets their mate?

But, that can't be right.

At the sanctuary, omegas went in to heat regularly, and they weren't even allowed to have a partner...

He himself, had at least one heat before he came here.

Although he could probably not be called a normal omega...

Deciding to talk with Logan the next day, he goes to bed in a haze.

And it's not before the next night, that he remembers he had smelled what the alpha had felt.

 

_"_ _Come here boy..._

_Such a pretty little boy..."_

_Pain..._

_Pain all over._

_Something is pushing inside him._

_Why is something pushing inside him?_

_He knows there is a reason, but..._

_Pain..._

_Feels good..._

_But it's not supposed to feel..._

_Pain..._

_So much pain..._

_I'm._

_I'm..._

_So good!_

_I'm gonna..._

_"_ _there you go boy..._

_What a nice little slut."_

 

He wakes up with tears running down his chin, shame pulsing through him in waves.

It was the sheriff's voice in the dream.

His stomach turns, and he barely manage to run to the bin before he violently empties it. 

The rain has stopped, but the sun has yet to come over the treetops.

Shaking, he pulls on some clothes and leave the room, not stopping before he is outside.

The birds singing good morning and the wind playing in the trees calms him down.

Taking a deep breath, he smells the forest, the grass and... bread?

Owen must be baking fresh bread this morning!

With a big smile, he turns around and makes his way to the kitchen.

He doesn't necessary feel good, but warm bread with butter will make everything better.

And better is enough for now.

It has to be.

 

After breakfast, he goes to the infirmary to talk to Logan.

The omega smiles at him, and after he tells him about his confusion, Logan asks him to sit down.

"I was going to ask you to come here for a checkup and a talk soon, but I guess we can do that now.

Omegas have their first heat between the age of 12 to 14.

After that we have regular heats two to four times a year, with the same intervals between each.

That way, we can predict when we get the next heat, and prepare for them.

But you know all of this."�

Logan smiles again.

He takes a breath before he shakes his head to the sweet omega.

"I grew up in a small village not knowing I was an omega, and I have only had two or three heats...

I remember being sick when I was really young, with a fever and dizziness.

There is a lot I don't remember, just small glimpse of Father being angry and the sheriff locking me up in a cell.

But the confusion and the shame and feeling dirty stays in the back of my mind."�

He shudders before he continues.

"Then, a couple of years later, I woke up feeling sick again, and that time the sheriff brought me to a bedroom in his house and spent it with me."

He blushes and looks to the floor.

"That must be a couple of years ago now, maybe three.

I have lost track of the time."�

Logan doesn't smile anymore.

"yeah...

I had forgotten that you told me you didn't have heats...

Some omegas don't have heats at all, and they have a difficult time getting pregnant.

But having three heats with at least a couple of year between...

That's definitely not something I have heard of before, but I will check up with some friends of mine and find some answers!"

The omega gives him a tight smile, trying to comfort him.

"anyhow.

Back to your original question!

Although omegas have regular heats, meeting your mate will trigger a special heat called bonding- heat.

That is simply nature's way making sure that mates bonds!"�

A dreamy smile and fare away look in the omegas eyes tells him that Logan is fantasizing about his own bonding heat.

 

After being lost in his own dream for some time, Logan shakes his head and is back to his professional self.

"The other thing I wanted to talk to you about, is that we need to talk about what happened to you before you came here.

After surviving traumas like you obviously have been through, talking about it is essential to fully heal.

The wounds on our body heals fast, but the wounds in our minds needs more work to heal."�

He can feel panic rising; his breath gets shallow and soon breathing at all is impossible.

There's a loud ringing in his ears, and tears runs down his chin.

Then warm hand holds his face, and a calm voice breaks through the noise in his head.

"Breath, Quinn...

A deep breath in, hold it, and a slow breath out.

Just listen to my voice and try to do as I say.

Breath in, hold it, breath out.

And again..."�

After some time, he manages to do as Logan says, taking deeper and deeper breaths, and soon his lungs work again.

The noise in his ears goes away, and he leans his head at Logan's shoulder.

He can clearly se why talking about stuff is important, when this is how he reacts when someone mentions it.

But there is no way he will manage to do it, if he panics like this each time!

Just thinking about the last couple of weeks before he came here makes him want to vomit.

 

They stay like that, with Logan's arms around his shoulders and his hands holding tightly to Logan's shirt.

When did that happened?

But after what feels like hours, he is calm enough to let go and lean back in his chair.

"That was... yeah...

I think we should start with your childhood, and slowly work us up to the time Jay found you.

We don't start today, obviously, but I will set up some appointments a couple of times a week.

I'm sure you agree that this is something you need!"�

He gives Logan a nod, but he knows this is not going to work.

And after listening to the omega without really understanding a single word, he stumbles to his room and falls in bed.

 

_Run!_

_Run!_

_Run pet!_

_Blood everywhere..._

_It's so dark, why is it so dark?_

_The sky is black, the trees are black, the ground is black._

_Everything is black._

_No, not everything._

_His hands are red, his feet are red, blood running down his torso._

_But there is no pain._

_Why?_

_Run!_

 

He jumps out of bed before his eyes are open, crashing in to the door.

Desperate, he fumbles for the doorknob, pulling the door open with a crack.

He has to run!

Stairs and corridors and rooms and another door and...

It's dark, the ground is wet and slippery.

Is it blood?

Trees surrounds him, grabbing him, pulling him inn.

Turning around, and around, and around.

Looking for the way out, where he has to go.

Seeking the safe heaven, the smell of peace, the arms of home.

Sweat running down his face, or is it blood?

But there is no pain.

Shouldn't it be pain?

There, a light.

Green grass wet with rain.

The familiar buildings, the familiar smells.

Not the smell of safe, or the arms of home, but close enough.

Alpha is here.

No more blood, no more pain.

Safe enough.

He curls up under a tree, there is something about that tree that makes him feel safer...

 

Several hours later, he wakes up in the infirmary, with Alpha Ronan sitting in the familiar chair...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> the next chapter will contain violens


	26. Chapter 26

26

 

Alpha Ronan had found him sleeping under a tree right outside the house, cold and confused.

Talking about trees with bloody arms and hands.

Alpha Ronan had finally calmed him down using his scent and voice, lulling him back to sleep.

Logan had clean him up while he was sleeping, and besides some scratches on his arms, there's nothing wrong with him.

The whole thing was probably a form of panic attack, powered by his nightmare that made him run around in the forest.

He isn't sure what he feels about that.

 

They spend a long time together that day, him, Logan and Alpha Ronan.

Originally, he was just trying to explain his nightmare, but that proves difficult when he himself doesn't quite understand.

He knows it has something to do with the night Jay found him running in the forest, but everything is kind of... like hidden in a fog or something.

Frustrated, he tries to apologize to Alpha Ronan.

"I'm just not capable of explaining things, Father always said I was stupid."

He lovers his head, eyes closed tight.

"I should just get out of here, I'm just a waste of space and a burden."�

Logan almost shouts no, and two strong arms pull him in.

"I don't know why you think so low of yourself, but you are no burden!"�

Alpha Ronan's voice rumbles in his chest, his scent strong and powerful.

Not quite enough to make him relax, but enough.

It has to bed.

 

"Tell us about your father?"�

Logan asks carefully.

So, he starts to tell them about Father, how important Father is, how his only job was to take care of him and how bad at it he had been.

And when Alpha Ronan shakes his head and opens his mouth to say something, he starts to explain more about the life in the village.

How small his world had been before they kidnapped him, how small and stupid he had felt when he came to the sanctuary.

He told about his friends, even Brad, and of how much his life changed while he was there.

He kept talking and talking, funny stories and happy memories slowly being replaced with the darker and harder ones.

And it's not before he comes to the day when Keith tells him he is infertile that he stops. 

 

There is no way he is capable of continue his story from there on, his whole body shaking.

He needs to sleep, to eat something, to gain some energy.

Luckily for him, it's a Saturday, and time for a "puppy pile"� as somebody called it ones.

He spends the night quiet, eating the snacks put in his hands, and pretending to watch the movie.

It anybody notices that something is up, they don't say anything about it.

But somehow, he ends up in the middle of the pile, with a hand on Gwen's baby bum.

Listening to snores and people shifting, his heavy eyes closes.

 

The next time he wakes up, it's because his pillow grows hard and something wet soaks his arms.

Blinking his eyes open he tries to understand all the commotion around him, and it takes him a minute to catch what Gwen is saying.

Right.

Gwen's bum had been his pillow.

The bum now being hold carefully by Alpha Ronan, the alpha looking both terrified and extremely happy.

The baby is coming.

 

Logan helps the parents to be to the infirmary, and the rest of the pack tidies up and tries to pretend it is a normal day.

Which, of course, it's not.

The Alpha is having a child, the pack is buzzing with anticipation, and both laughter and tears is heard throughout the day.

It is a little early for the birth, but there's nothing to do about that, and everything will probably be fine.

All the emotions make him dizzy, so he goes outside for a walk.

Walking in the forest, he looks around and thinks about how he had thought the trees was alive.

It's easy to smile about that now, when the birds sing, and the sun warms his face.

 

Suddenly he feels like somebody is watching him, but before he can turn around to look for who it is, the smell of pine intensifies.

The smell of home.

He takes a few deep breaths, savoring the smell, before he slowly turns around.

And there, behind a tree, stands his mate.

They just look at each other for a long time.

"Is Ronan okay?"�

He stares blankly at his mate.

"I... I mean, I could feel his emotions going crazy this morning."�

Scratching his head, his mate looks down to the ground.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, I was going to stay away but...

Is it the baby?"�

Yeah...

That's right, his mate and Alpha Ronan was best friends.

"Yes, Gwen went in to labor this morning, they are in the infirmary.

I'm sure Alpha Ronan will be glad to see you."�

He isn't sure why he says the next part but...

"I will stay out of your way, go be with your friend."�

With that, he turns away from his mate, and forces himself to walk away.

 

He spends the rest of the day in his room, only going down to the kitchen to grab some food.

Sitting in front of his window, he tries not to think about his mate being so close.

About how his life could have been, if his mate wanted him, if he had been enough for the man.

Dreaming of an alternative world where he was in the infirmary delivering his baby, his mate by his side.

But that would never happened, he was never meant to have a life like that.

 

_Deep blue eyes look at him,_

_warm arms caressing his baby bum._

_"_ _you look so good like this, baby..."�_

_Sweet kisses on the back of his neck,_

_roaming hands over his hips and tights._

" _I can't get enough of you, you are so beautiful..."�_

_The kisses turn hotter,_

_a huge member poking him in his back._

_"_ _I just have to have you..._

_Please..."�_

_He can feel heat growing in his stomach,_

_every touch making him shiver._

_One hand finds his member,_

_the other one caressing his bum again._

_He is slowly placed down on the ground, -wait... bed._

_Lips meets his,_

_kisses deep and hot._

_Something is poking his entrance,_

_entering him carefully._

_His breath is fast and shallow,_

_moans coming from his throat._

" _please..."_

 

He jumps awake when Josefine nocks on his door to tell him that Gwen had delivered a healthy baby girl.

With a small smile, he tells her to give his gratulations to the new parents but declines an offer to come meet them now.

There is no way he can meet his mate now.

Blushing, he goes to bed and hides under his sheets...

He lays there for a long time before he falls asleep again, the last thought before he surrenders is that he had been hard when Josefine had nocked.

 

The next day, nobody mentions Jay, but it's obvious that he had been there.

He finally meets the tiny alpha girl called Cassie.

With blond curly hair and big brown eyes, she is beautiful.

He coos at her, and if the pain in his chest is almost unbearable, he chooses to ignore it.

There is no use in thinking about what could have been, it will never bee.

So, he ones again turns to his routines, going through the motions and activities he is supposed to do.

He even dodges the next meeting with Logan for almost two weeks, but one day the omega corners him.

"It's time for a new appointment, you can't pretend forever."�

 

He dreads the talk, wants to do anything to not think about the darkest part of his life.

So, when Owen complains about the empty pantry and wanting someone to come with him to buy more provisions, he volunteers.

He doesn't even consider where they would go, so when he sees the familiar route to the sanctuary he freaks out.

Luckily, they turn down another road, and the wall disappears behind them.

The marked is much bigger than in the village, people shouting out their offers, kids running around laughing and the level of noise almost hurt his ears.

Although they are three persons, a young but big alpha coming with them to help carry everything, he soon finds himself with his arms filled with bags of vegetables and whatever.

When he almost looses one bag, he has to look down to get a better handle of it, and when he looks up again Owen and the other alpha is nowhere to be seen.

He tries to stay calm, but his heart speed up and he looks around frantically.

It feels like he walks around searching for hours, and he only gets more and more afraid.

 

Suddenly he finds himself in an ally, obviously having turned down the wrong way somehow.

"Look at that...

I had never thought I would see you again!"�

Terror runs down his spine.

No.

No way...

"Hey, pretty boy...

Turn around, come say hello!"�

Slowly he turns, knowing he would see the sheriff there.

But he could never have anticipated the person standing beside him.

Father...

Father is here, in the city.

And he looks furious.

"I brought your dear father with me for a visit to the sanctuary, thinking it would be good for the two of you to have a little family reunion."

The smile on the sheriffs face is full of hate.

"I was deeply disappointed when they told us you had behaved so badly they had to get rid of you."

Father takes a step forward, and he takes a couple of steps away from him.

"What is this, I didn't raise you to misbehave like this.

Maybe it was a mistake to let you go in the first place!"

Father takes another step forward, and when he tries to step further away, his back hits a wall.

"such a waste of space, not even useful at breeding."�

Pure hatred shows in Father's face, and he raises his hand ready to hit him.

Father knew he was an omega.

Father was involved in getting him kidnapped!

A deep anger boils in him, and he lets go of the provisions he is carrying.

He tries to get past them and run away from them, but the sheriff grabs him easy enough.

With his hands firmly held behind his back, there is not much he can do to stop Father.

The first hit makes his chin burn and splits his lip.

They keep coming after that, to his head and his stomach making him both dizzy and nauseous.

"scum like you should not run freely around, like you are more than animals made for breeding and breeding alone."

The sheriff laughs.

"I don't know how you got away, but maybe I should keep you after your father is done...

If there is anything left, that is..."�

A shiver runs down his spine again, when the sheriff whispers in his ear.

The anger grows and grows, soon the only thing he can see is red.

Not the color of blood, but the color of hatred.

His breathing evens out, the pain goes away.

"No.

Don't you dare try to hit me anymore!"�

Father stops, looking shocked.

He spits in Fathers eyes, yanks his arms free and pushes the old man backwards.

The sheriff shouts, but nothing can stop him anymore.

He pushes his father one more time, making him stumble, and the kicks him again and again and again.

There is more shouting and the sound of fighting behind him, but he has only eyes for his father.

The man lies still now, hiding his head behind his arms, crying and pleading him to stop.

But he doesn't.

Not until someone grabs him firmly but carefully around his waist and drags him away.

"calm down my love...

It's over now...

He can never hurt you again...

Look at him!"�

The smell of home surrounds him, he takes several deep breaths of the only thing keeping him sane right now.

Safe...

He is safe...

Slowly he opens his eyes again, looking at the broken man lying before him.

The only sign of life being shallow breaths and low whimpering.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow update!

27

 

A groan from his left makes him turn that way, and he sees the sheriff on the ground with his hands bound behind his back.

His mate lets him go when he takes a step towards the bound man.

But he doesn't look at the sheriff at first.

He looks at his mate, and for a minute he drowns in the deep blue eyes.

Then he shakes himself and turns away.

"you know he is a sheriff, right?"�

"he used to be.

Now he is a criminal on the run, wanted for sexual abuse of young boys."�

A giggle leaves him, but there is nothing joyous about it.

Using young boys sounds like something that man could do.

He knows that first hand, the first heat he had spent in that cell, he couldn't have been more than 11 years old.

 

His legs crumbles under him, and he falls to his knees.

Big tears run down his chin, but there is no sound.

There is no anger left, no fear, no sorrow.

There are no feelings left, just...

Numbness.

He feels nothing at all.

 

Shaking his head, he gets back up on his feet and turn towards his mate.

The alpha is binding his father's hands behind his back.

Looking in the beaten man's eyes, he sees that the familiar hatred is replaced with something else.

Not fear, more like surprise mixed with respect.

Like his father is proud of him.

Like him beating his own father finally makes him worth something.

Well, his father is wrong.

There is nothing positive in beating somebody, anger doesn't make you strong.

Not in the sense that matter.

Surviving abuse and not ending up an angry abuser or a broken wreck is being strong.

And up until now, that had been what he was, he realizes.

Strong.

He has survived everything thrown at him, holding on to life and never fully giving up.

And there is no way he will give up now, he wants to live.

Yeah...

Looking down at his father, he knows that he is a better man than his father will ever be.

He is worth something just by being himself.

And although he beat his father to a whimpering mess today, he will not end up an angry broken wreak shivering in a corner.

He will not stay a weak victim but make the most out of his life from now on.

Starting with not letting anybody decide what's best for him.

Like deciding that his life would be better without his mate in it.

 

Eyes now dry finds his mate ones again.

He opens his mouth to tell his mate just that, but someone shouting his name stops him.

Turning around, he sees Owen coming running towards him, panic written on his face.

"Where did you go? What happened to you?

O my... Why is there two men lying tied up on the ground?

Why is your hands bleeding??�

All the questions make him dizzy.

He tries to say something, but nothing comes out of his mouth.

There is black dots dancing in the corner of his vision.

"Hey... You are getting very pale, sit down for a bit kid."�

Shaking his head, he turns towards his mate.

"I'm not... worthless...

I deserve a... life...

All those dreams, and you run away"�

That was not what he was going to say.

But the world goes around and around, so he grabs a hold on the closest person.

 

Owen helps him to sit down against a wall, and he closes his eyes just for a minute.

He can hear voices in the distance, and what sounds like something being dragged away.

Then soft hands grab his carefully, and he opens his eyes again.

"Let me have look at your hands...

They are covered in blood, I just want to look at your wounds.

We don't want you to catch an infection, Logan would kill me!"�

Owen is smiling at him while he carefully dabs at his hands with a piece of cloth.

"Jay and Lucas are taking care of your father and that other man, and then they will bring the car here."

 

When Lucas comes back, he comes alone.

He doesn't know what he thinks about that.

So, he doesn't.

The day has been filled with fear and anger, panic and pain.

He feels exhausted and drained, so he closes his eyes again, this time falling asleep.

 

_He is sitting in a field of flowers, the grass tickling his small feet._

_Somewhere behind him someone is singing, and he feels safe._

_A beautiful purple flower is catching his eyes, he tries to reach it, but it's just to fare away!_

_Then a shadow looms over him, making him tens up and turn around._

_A woman with a big smile looks down at him, saying a name._

_Is that his name?_

_Yeah._

_He's Quinn._

_Her hand comes up, caressing his skin, and he leans in nuzzling it happy..._

_Looking to her face again, her eyes turns soft so soft._

_Her mouth opens, and she whispers "I'm so proud of you son..."�_

 

A hand on his shoulder softly shaking him wakes him up.

"We're back home, Quinn, time to wake up..." 

Blinking back tears he gets out of the car and goes to help unload it.

"No way, you are going to the infirmary young man."�

Owen says firmly, but with a smile in his face.

So, he shuffles his feet in that direction.

The plan to avoid talking with Logan backfired big way.

But he can't remove the smile on his face.

The thought of his mother being proud of him, even just in a dream, leaves a nice warm feeling in his chest.

 

Logan frets around him, mumbling about nothing good coming from violence, then congratulating him of standing up against his father.

His hands are swollen and red, the skin broken in some places, and he wonder how that can be.

He can't remember hitting anyone, just kicking?

After finishing with his hands, Logan checks over the rest of his body.

He got one black eye, a swollen nose, a small cut at his left temple and a split lip.

His torso is covered in black and blue bruises, but luckily nothing seems broken.

Soon enough, the omega is satisfied that he will live, and looks him in the eyes.

"I know you have been avoiding coming to your check up, but I have some important news for you...

So tomorrow you will come her after lunch, even if I have to drag you here after your ear!"

Logan gives him a stern look until he nods, and then he is free to go.

 

At dinner, everybody wants to hear about what happened in the city, but he can't bring himself to talk about it.

Luckily, it seems like Owen understand, so he gives them the short story.

That he got confronted by two people from his past, and that he defended himself amazingly well.

That it's up to him when, and if, he wants to share more details.

And, despite obviously wanting to know more, they let it go.

 

He goes to bed early that night but doesn't fall asleep before the birds starts singing in the morning.

Thoughts of everything his father has done to him, all the abuse, the violence, the harsh words.

Isolating him, renting him out to the sheriff and then selling him to his kidnappers.

He wonders what made the man like that, why his father had made his childhood that miserable.

Why he hated enhanced people so much, how come he was enhanced when his father wasn't.

If there had been other enhanced people in the village.

The thoughts kept spinning in his head, around and around, keeping him awake to suffer through the night.

 

He knocks on the door to the infirmary after lunch, not wanting to be dragged there like a little kid.

Logan seems surprised to se him but gives him a small smile before ushering him inside.

"Originally, we were going to talk through the last period of your life in the sanctuary and how you ended up in the forest where Jay found you, but there is something else we have to talk about first."�

There is no smile in Logan's face now, only a quiet professionalism.

"we talked about your... not so normal heats last time...

I have been talking to some people I know, doctors both living in packs like this, and the more traditional ones.

Not a lot of them had heard of something like this.

Strangely enough, it was a couple of doctors known for looking down at pack-life, that had the knowledge."

Logan shakes his head with a little giggle, so he guesses that that was not expected by the omega.

 

"It turns out that some mates, or highly- compatible couples as these doctors call it, is so attuned to each other that the omega only have what they called selective heats.

The omega's body is so attached to the alpha's that they only have heats when their future partner is close by.

Of course, since they don't believe in soulmates, they have a hard time understanding why this happens.

What they have found out, is that it usually happens if the pair meets around the time when the omega comes of age and have their first heat.

Normally omegas don't mate during their first heat, thank heavens for that, with their low age and all...

Well.

If they don't mate that first time, but continues to live close together, the omega will just have heats two to four times a year like normal.

But their heats will get worse and worse each time, and the pair usually end up as mates at a young age.  

These couple is often called childhood sweethearts..."�

 

He suddenly remembers a story he heard in the village ones, about a young boy and an even younger girl that was caught "playing adults"

A couple of times he saw a girl at the marked, thin and dirty, begging for food but only getting harsh words thrown her way.

He never saw the boy, though.

What if they had been mates, then they would have to been enhanced!

 

"hey! Quinn! Are you awake?"�

Logan laughs a little.

"well... sweethearts are sweet, but that is not why these doctors is researched this phenomenon.

In the situations when the alpha and omega doesn't live close by but happened to be close at the time when the omega came of age, the story is different.

When a highly-capable... wait.

When super-mates meet by chance, the omega will not get another heat before they ones again is close by.

This is to prevent omegas from mating with the wrong alpha, or that's what these doctors say.

And it seems quite logical, if you ask me.

So being close by ones more, make the omega go in to heat, and the couple will mate and live happy ever after..."

 

He can feel his stomach turn.

"If... If Jay and I are super-mates as you call it, then he was in the village when I got my second heat...

And I went in to heat again when he found me in the forest.

But we never mated, obviously...

So..."�

He looks at Logan with big eyes.

"yeah..

This is not that simple fairytale story I know...

After reading everything I got from these doctors, I asked them about your specific situation.

These childhood sweethearts obviously don't mate the first years, but since they are close by, the omega will have heats as normal.

How this selective heat affects the omegas body when you two meets so rarely...

I don't know.

We just have to wait for the answers..."

 

Within the next week, most of his bruises are healed, and he is back to his bellowed routines.

He tries to focus on living his life to the fullest.

Enjoying the sun warming his face, playing with the kids, spending time with the pack at night, and spending hours with the little alpha-to-be in his arms.

The newborn is a happy little bundle, grabbing his finger and looking deep into his eyes.

But there is still something lurking in the back of his mind.

There is something coming, something not good.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!  
> My life has changed a lot lately, so there was no time for Quinn...  
> But things have calmed down do!

28.

 

_Black._

_Everything around him is black._

_No, there's a light to his left, blinking, fare away._

_Moving away from him._

_He tries to move towards it, but no matter how long he walks, the light gets farther and farther away._

_He has to catch up to the light, there is something important with it._

_Walking turns to jogging turns to running._

_Running doesn't help though, and soon he gives up and stops._

_Falling to his knees and breathing hard, he wonders what was so important in the light._

_He can't see why he even tried to reach it._

_The darkness around him is quite comfortable, there is no reason to not just stay here._

_Or..._

_Suddenly, the light comes to him, surrounding him, making him warm._

_And he is filled with fear._

_He is scared, more scared than he have ever been before._

_Shaking, he tries to close his eyes._

_"_ _look at me..."�_

_The voice is firm, but kind._

_And he has to look._

_There is someone standing before him, bare masculine feet followed by white trousers and then a soft looking white jumper..._

_His eyes travel even higher, he sees..._

_He sees..._

_Fear again claws it way inside him, and he screams..._

 

Bolting up in bed, his throat feels raw.

Like he has been screaming for real.

But he knows it's not real, just another nightmare.

He is used to them now. 

Ever since that trip to the city, his nightmares grow worse.

Or, maybe not worse, but confusing and more frequent.

In stead of dreaming of all the bad things from his past, he dreams of a terrifying, warm and welcoming light.

Like a soft blanket around him is the worst thing there is in this world.

Frustrated, he shakes his head and tries to go back to sleep.

But there is no use.

After tossing and turning for what feels like hours, he gives up.

 

Putting on some clothes, he makes his way down to the kitchen.

Owen is elbows deep in a fantastic smelling bread dough,

and he gives him a smile and nods towards a coffeemaker.

They never talk about it, in fact they don't talk at all in these early mornings, but just being in the kitchen calms him down.

They have developed a new routing together, the cook and him.

After a cup of coffee, he cleans the large table and readies it for breakfast.

Cups and plates and jellies and some cheese and scrambled eggs and bacon and...

A lot of different kinds of food, so that everybody can have something they like.

Since all the nightmares tells him to fear the light, he does this without turning the lights on.

He knows it's just dreams, and it's not like he fears the light in general, but in these early mornings he prefers the calm morning lights filtering through the window.

 

And it's one of these mornings, when he hears it.

It's not that he tries to listen in, private conversations are just that, - private.

But then he hears his name, whispered in a pained voice, and he can't help himself.

"I love him, he belongs in this pack, it's just...

There is something missing without Jay.

He has been here all my life, and now he's gone.

I miss him so much, and I don't know what to do!"

It's Alpha Ronan's voice.

"I need him to be here, to get to know my little girl, he should have been here all along!"

Dread fills him.

Alpha Ronan is crying, missing his best friend.

The friend that ran away because of him.

Slowly, he backs up and out of the room.

He can't hear anything but his own wild heartbeat or remember how he got back to his room.

But that is where he finds himself, shivering under his sheets.

"I miss him so much..."�

Alpha Ronan's voice is going on repeat in his head.

His Alpha is hurting because of him.

Or...

Because of his mate.

Isn't it?

His mate decided to leave, never asking him what he thought about it.

If Jay had just talked to him before leaving...

He would have told him to stay, he would never choose his own happiness over his mate's whole life!

Up until that point, where his mate found him in the forest and brought him home, his mate was happy.

Wasn't he?

So why did he choose to leave?

Over him?

The more he is thinking over this, the less sad he gets.

Thinking about what Jay left behind, the way his mate left his whole live on a wimp.

Soon, he feels so angry he has to take some slow breaths to calm himself down.

He decides that what his mate did is unfair.

Unfair for himself, abandoning his life.

Unfair for the pack, loosing a loved member of the pack.

Unfair for Alpha Ronan, losing his long-time best friend.

Because of him, his mate, showing up.

Disturbing the pack's peace, everyone's life without even knowing.

Back to being sad, shakes his head and tells himself to get a grip of himself.

There's nothing he can do about it, no use in spending time drowning in the feelings surrounding his mate.

With a deep breath, he leaves his room planning to continue his life as normal.

Or, the last few months version of normal. 

 

Times goes by, and before he knows it, little Cassie is four months old.

At that age, all children born to the pack will have a ceremony to be welcomed to the pack and given his or hers rank based on heritage and hierarchy.

It's all old costumes, the young alpha has been loved and welcomed in the pack since day one, and as the Alpha's daughter she is the next in line to become the Alpha.

But, it's a good excuse as any to have a party, so everybody is running around making the last preparations.

Some omegas are hanging decorations around in the dining room, a couple of big alphas is bringing in another huge table, Lukas is waiting with tablecloths and the kids are making colorful decorations of paper to put on the table.

In the middle of it all, Owen is standing as calm as ever, smiling and looking around.

 

The sun is already setting, the days short and cold in the middle of the winter, but inside the lights shines bright.

Families and friends are arriving filling the house with greetings and hugs, introductions and names he forgets even before they turn around.

It's suddenly all too much for him.

All this happiness, laughter and smiles, love and companionship.

He feels welcomed in the pack, it's not that, but all the same... 

Being born in the small village, the life filled with abuse and neglect, being told all his life how he's worthless.

With all these unknown people around, all he wants to do is to hide in a corner and disappear.

It doesn't help, when an old woman comes up to him and ask if he is the mate making Jay run away.

That's not the words she uses of course, but it's easy to see that that's what she means.

What is he supposed to say to that?

He knows it's not his fault that his mate ran, he knows!

But it's difficult to remember that with those hard eyes boring holes in his head.

He is sure that everybody around them hears what they talk about and looking around he sees several cold stares their way.

 

Suddenly arms hold him close, and the calming scent of his Alpha fills his nose.

His cheeks are wet, his breathing shallow and fast.

Not again.

Another panic attack, and this time in front the whole pack.

Not just the whole pack, but guests that have never seen him before, got to experience who pathetic he really is.

Forcing himself to take deep breaths, he pushes out of Alpha Ronan's arms.

He sees that he is in the infirmary, Logan hovering close by.

"I'm sorry Alpha Ronan, I'm okay now.

You should go back to your important friends, sorry for ruining everything."

Looking to the floor, he feels terrible.

He should just have stayed in his room, like he wanted to do.

But at the same time, he really wanted to be part of the party celebrating that bundle of joy that stole a piece of his heart those months ago.

 

Instead of leaving him, Alpha Ronan pulls him back into his arms and holds him tight.

"You are one of those important friends, Quinn.. 

Never think you're not important to me!"�

"And, you really should not listen to that old hag, she is mean and bitter and just want everybody else to be as miserable as she is..."

Logan says with a voice that goes harder and harder.

It's with steel in his voice he finishes.

"Everybody just waits for her to fall asleep and never wake up, not a tear will be shed at her burial."�

 

After a few more minutes, they return to the party, where he is placed in a chair and given a sleepy child to hold.

Turing out all the noise around him, he feels at peace and smiles down at Cassie.

When it's time to sit down and eat, he ends up with Gwen at one side, and a sweet looking woman on the other.

After a little smile, she leaves him alone, and he manages to enjoy the rest of the night.

Well, he enjoys Owen's tasty food, and even laugh of some of the stories about Alpha Ronan's childhood, but these stories often included his mate.

And that just makes him sad, knowing he is the reason Jay isn't there tonight.

Even if he isn't responsible for the man running away, if he hadn't come here in the first place, his mate would have stayed in the pack.

Where he belongs.

And maybe _he_ doesn't.

 

He doesn't stay long after the table is cleared, and the party is moved to the living room.

After helping Owen in the kitchen, he sneaks out the backdoor.

The sky is filled with stars, and an almost full moon gives him enough light to see the path leading to his favorite place under the tree in the middle of the clearing.

The same tree where he first got a good look at his mate, sitting below it in the shade.

There is no shade now, but there is no need for a shade to get out of the sun either.

It's freezing outside.

His breath comes out looking like a fog, and when he takes a deep breath it stings in his lungs.

The smell of trees and snow fills his lungs.

He has been practicing his sense of smell with Josefine regularly and is really getting the hang of it.

The difference of omega and alpha, strong emotions and his new specialty, - smelling every single component in the food Owen makes, is easy now.

But separating the different smells in the nature is more difficult, especially now in the winter.

The cold weather and the snow make it difficult to smell anything.

But he can smell the pine trees clearly, and even the snow smells distinct.

Fresh, and free, and clean, and home, and...

Waite.

Pine and snow...

That's the smell of...

Turning around, he spots his mate standing at the tree line, like a creep spying.

Anger consumes him, the mixed feels towards his mate fueling it.

It doesn't look like his mate have spotted him yet, so slowly he walks toward him.

"so...

Why are you standing here, outside in the cold, when your best friend is inside celebrating his firstborn?"

The man jumps, clearly not knowing he was there.

He smiles at his obvious mate, shaking his head a little from the startled face turned his way.

"don't you think this has been going on long enough?

Do you plan to abandon your pack, your Alpha and best friend forever?"

Jay opens his mouth, but no sound escape.

"the people inside are missing you, wanting you in their life, and you are standing here.

Outside.

In the cold.

Why?"�

Again, his mate opens his mouth.

And again, no sound comes out.

The pain in his chest intensifies, the knot he never gets to forget growing and throbbing.

"okay...

You have to decide for yourself, but don't put this on me.

I never gave you any ultimatum, I never told you to leave, I never asked you to mate me.

Hell, I was never given the chance to tell you anything!

You have to decide what you want to do, but whatever it is, you can't continue this.

Either come home or let go of this pack.

This is just hurting everybody."�

He turns around and walks back to the packhouse, a single tear sliding down his chin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

29.

_Black._

_Everything around him is black._

_No, there's a light to his left, blinking, fare away._

_He starts to move towards it, but stumbles to a halt when he remembers._

_The light is scary._

_It's terrifying._

_But he wants to go to it so bad._

_His feet start walking again._

_He has to catch up to the light, there is something important with it._

_Then stops._

_Falling to his knees and breathing hard, he wonders what was so important in the light._

_He wants it, but he fears it._

_The darkness around him is quite comfortable, there is no reason to not just stay here._

_Or..._

_Suddenly, the light comes to him, surround him, makes him warm._

_Like a blanket of sun, laughter and love..._

_"_ _look at me."�_

_The voice is firm, but kind._

_And he has to look._

_There is someone standing before him, bare masculine feet followed by white trousers and then a soft looking white jumper..._

_His eyes travel even higher, he sees..._

_He sees..._

_Himself?_

Bolting up in bed, he desperately sucks air into his lungs a couple of times.

Then he freezes...

The man in his dream was him.

Nightmare after nightmare, he has feared that faceless man, trying not to look.

And all the time it has been himself?

These strange nightmares get more and more confusing...

And no matter how much time he spends thinking about it, there is just no way they can make any sense.

Even though it's all he thinks about when he prepares for breakfast, or when he does his chores.

Or when Cassie is looking up at him with her almost toothless smile.

Well, Cassie is a fantastic distraction, so while lays on the living room floor with her playing, he can put the nightmare at the back of his mind.

For a short period of time, that is.

Then his thoughts spin back to it, but it only gets more and more confusing...

What was it he dreamt about, again?

Looking around, he finds himself outside, looking at his favorite tree.

It's freezing, and he is not wearing a jacket, but he doesn't notice.

Mumbling to himself, he looks around trying to remember why he went outside.

After some time, he gives up, and goes back inn again.

There is something lurking in the back of his mind but thinking just gets worse as the day goes by.

 

After lunch, Logan asks him to join him at the infirmary, to have a talk. 

He doesn't understand why they need to talk, and he have stuff to do.

But.

He can't remember what stuff, so he may as well go with Logan.

The omega does some tests, and asks some general questions about his health, before he sits down opposite him.

"So, Quinn, how is everything going?

Eating well and sleeping okay is nice, but it's more to life than that.

I have noticed that you still keep some distance to the rest of the pack, are you still having doubt about your place in the pack?"

Logan gives him a tender smile.

He wants to answer the omegas questions, but for some reason it's hard.

The words won't come out, and that makes him irritated.

Finally, he just tells the omega that he is fine.

Logan stays quiet for a while, just looking at him, but when he doesn't say anything more the omega continues.

"how about nightmares, are you having them often?

I know you had a hard time coping with them before..."�

Again, he wants to answer the omega, but he doesn't know how.

Because, he is having nightmares, and almost every night.

And the early mornings with Owen is a nice thing, so he is better at coping with them...

So, they are kind of worth it, aren't they?

But these dreams have changed a lot lately, making no sense.

"well...

I'm having nightmares about a warm and cozy and soft and terrifying light.

That I want to run to, and at the same time run away from.

And inside the light there's a man, and it's me??�"

Logan looks about as confused as he feels, but he can't stay still anymore, so he just stands up and leaves.

If the omega calls after him, he has no idea, all he can hear is his blood in his ears.

 

Later, he ones again finds himself outside, walking aimlessly around.

This time he wears a jacket, but he thinks he remember Owen giving it to him.

Why is he feeling so strange today?

Maybe it's because all the time he has spent inside lately, that's probably why he finds himself outside now again.

So, he decides to go for a walk.

Then everything will back to normal.

It's kind of nice walking in the forest, listening to the birds singing and the wind whispering in the trees.

The wind is cool and nice against his face, the winter sun strangely warm.

For a while, ten minuets or 3 hours he doesn't know, and he doesn't care, he feels calm.

Not thinking about anything, just listening and feeling and walking.

Nice.

Then something starts to itch in his mind.

Something important.

Something...

When did it get so warm?

Why haven't the sun melted the snow when it obviously is summer...

Taking of his jacket, he looks around to try and find his way back home.

He thinks it's that way, so he stumbles in that direction.

How long did he walk before it became to hot?

Several days, maybe, his throat is certainly dry enough for that.

So, he has to walk for a few days to get back, that's no problem.

The sun is nice, warming his skin.

Why isn't he wearing a jacket?

 

Finally, he spots the pack house, where he sits down under his favorite tree in the shade from the burning sun.

Suddenly, somebody shouts for him, telling him he is late for dinner.

Dinner?

It was just lunch...

He is still so full, there is no way he can manage food now.

But water, that's another thing.

He is so thirsty.

Like he hasn't had a drink for days.

Well, that may be because he hasn't had one, with the long walk he has been on.

Alpha Ronan tells him to sit down when he tries to just grab some water and leave, why is the man so bossy!

If he isn't hungry, then he will not eat.

Besides, the chair is uncomfortable.

And he is tired.

Don't they understand that he is tired, after been walking for so many days?

Irritated, he says good night and goes to bed.

The last think he sees, is Logan, with sly smile on his face.

_Strong arms hold him close._

_Nosing under his ear and rumbles low in his chest._

_He feels content._

_Warm and safe._

_Too warm._

_Is the sun still up?_

_No, there is no sun on the sky above the meadow._

_Stars blinking on a black sky, a full moon the only light._

_There's a warm sensation building in his stomach._

_It feels good._

_Fingertips brushes down his side, his thigh, and back up again._

_Feather like movements, leaving goosebumps on its trail._

_He wants more._

_He needs more._

_Wining, he pushes back to the body behind him._

_Closer_

_He needs it closer._

_It's not enough._

_The featherlike movements become firmer, pinching his nipple, then going lower and lower._

_Oh..._

_Yes..._

_That's nice..._

_Pushing forward into the warmth around his member, then backwards in to the huge member lying between his buttocks._

_Good._

_Soooo good..._

_Enough, no not enough!_

_He needs more!_

_Fingers slips inside him, first one, then two, then three._

_His whole body shakes with need._

_Now!_

_He needs it now!!_

_Finally, he is filled._

_So huge._

_So full._

_Good..._

_Small pushes soon become long and hard, the hand around his member moving to his hip to steady him._

_The world spins around, and then he is lying on his back, that delicious member pushing back in._

_Yes..._

_Holding on to broad shoulders, he moans loud._

_Opening his eyes, he sees his mate._

_His glorious, handsome, perfect mate._

_Tears in his eyes, he closes them again._

_"_ _harder, faster, harder, faster..."�_

_He doesn't know if he is thinking it or saying it, but it doesn't matter._

_The man above him complies._

_Sweat covers his body, he is so close so close..._

_He just needs..._

_He need..._

_Need..._

_Yes!_

_The knot._

_He can feel it growing, and soon they are locked together._

_Everything turns white, the only thing in the world that knot._

_His whole body is spasming, and he comes._

 

_When he wakes up, he sees that he is in his bed, not lying in the meadow._

_It was all a dream._

_His mate is not really here._

_Turning around to hide his tears in his pillow, he sees an arm besides him._

_Blinking, he lifts his head to see who it is._

_Mate..._

_His mate is here, lying in his bed, sleeping._

_Naked._

_Without sheets._

_Roaming eyes studies the glorious body, strong, and lean and soft all at the same time._

_And that glorious member..._

_Huge, just like in his dream, and getting even bigger as it fills with blood._

_Waite._

_Dragging his eyes up he meets the ones of his mate, looking back at him._

_"_ _you are here..._

_Really here..."�_

_"_ _yes, of course I am Quinn!_

_This is where I belong after all..._

_Come here..."�_

_Lips meets lips, slow and tender._

" _you are my home..."�_

_His mate whisper before everything blows away..._

 

This time, when he opens his eyes, he knows it's for real.

He is covered in sweat, and other body fluids, but he knows he is alone.

Warm and horny and lightheaded, but alone.

Waite...

No...

He abruptly tries to sit up, and fails, almost falling to the floor.

Dizzy.

He tries again, slowly this time, and manages to keep himself seated.

New sweat runs down his face, tickling behind his ears.

He loos down to se if his feet really are where they are supposed to be, because he can't feel them.

But there it is, his member, hard and red and...

Oh...

That was nice...

Why was he getting up, when he had more important things to do?

Slumping back in bed, all he can feel is the hand working his member.

Fast, and hard, and...

And...

Shit!

That was fast.

Catching his breath, he spears a moment wondering when he last had an orgasm.

But beside anguishing that he definitely had several before he woke up, he has more important things to do.

Like taking care of that throbbing thing between his legs...

 

Several orgasms later, he manages to stumble to the bathroom.

He was planning to take a shower, but after relieving himself, he ones again focused on the important stuff.

Afterwards, he looked at him self in the mirror, and what he saw shocked him.

Hair soaked with sweat, skin flushed, and pupils blown.

Heat.

He was in heat.

A knock on the door made him jump.

"Quinn? Honey? Are you there?"�

It's Logan.

Thank god it's Logan.

He is sharing this bathroom with five other people!

Blushing, he opens the door just a little bit.

"there you are...

I can see, and smell, that my suspicion last night was correct.

Let's get you to a heat hut, shall we?"�

The omega wraps him in a big sheet, and together with someone he doesn't see, they guide him through the pack house and out to a hut.

"here you go honey...

I stocked this place with lots of water, and some energy bars, and I will come back later to make sure you drink and eat a minimum..."

Looking around in his haze, all he can see is the bed.

He loses his sheet and falls to the mattress.

With only one thing on his mind, he doesn't quite catch what Logan talks about.

Something about toys?

And if he wants some unknown alpha to help him?

Well.

He doesn't have time for toys.

And the only alpha allowed to come near him done want to.

 

Lost in a lustful haze, it takes an embarrassingly long time before he hears the noises from outside the hut.

Someone is shouting, some movements outside his door as if somebody tries to open it.

Blinking, he tries to make sense of this...

"Quinn!! Let me in to him!

He needs me! Hey Quinn!

I'm here!"�

 

That wakes him up.

It's his mate. 


	30. Chapter 30

30

 

His foggy brain needed some time to comprehend what was happening outside.

Jay.

His mate was here, calling for him.

"let me in, damnit!

Ronan, let me in!!!"�

Whining he tries to blink his eyes open.

Why is his mate her?

It hurts.

It hurts so much!

Why isn't his mate her with him?

There is no reason for his mate to stay outside, he needs him here!

Inside with him!

Inside him!

Three fingers move desperately inside him, trying to ease the pain.

But nothing helps.

He needs his mate!

Whining high, he tries to get out of the bed to...

To...

Wait.

What was he doing again?

yeah...

He's so close.

So close.

He just needs...

Trough the fog, he hears something.

Someone shouting.

Something...

His name?

"Quinn!"�

His whole body convulses, his mouth opens in a silent scream as he comes ones again.

Catching his breath, the fog lifts a little.

His mate is outside, wanting to come inside to him.

Shouting that he needs him.

Like he cares.

Jay doesn't care about him; he left the pack just so he didn't have to care for him.

So, fuck him.

He doesn't need his lousy mate; he can get through this heat on his own!

Curling in on himself and hiding under the sheets, he tries to ignore the single tear falling down his chin.

 

Suddenly a loud bang startles him, it sounded like someone hit the wall.

Then Alpha Ronan's voice rumbles, but he can't quiet hear what he is saying.

A deep howl makes sparks run down his spine, making him shiver with need again.

Another whine leaves him, he wants his mate...

The sounds from outside fades away again, the desperate need stealing all his focus.

 

_The bed dips, the wonderful smell of pine and snow filling his nose, together with a new musky one._

_Hands caresses him, teases him, leaving fire behind._

_A tongue invades his mouth, hot and demanding._

_He is filled up, never have he felt so full..._

_With every pound his body is pushed further up the bed, making him grunt._

_The warmth builds and builds and builds, before everything comes crashing down and turns white..._

_Laying on the grass, feeling the sun on his face, he takes deep breaths._

_His heart is beating to fast, making him dizzy._

_Turning his head to the left, he can see a purple flower dancing in the wind, reminding him of..._

_Of..._

_O god..._

_Those fingers are magical, stretching him out and hitting that wonderful spot every time._

_Something wet and warm surrounds him, swallows him down._

_Whining, he pushes into the mouth, then back to the fingers._

_He is surrounded by a hard and warm body._

_Holding him down, filling him up, pushing him towards that wonderful place..._

_Just a little bit more..._

_A little bit longer..._

_A hand pushes his upper body down to the mattress, another firmly on his hip._

_The sounds of flesh on flesh, and the moans and grunts fill the room._

_Black spots dances behind his eyes._

_"_ _breath honey..._

_You got to breath..._

_Just a little bit more..."�_

_Fireworks burst, drowning out the other sounds, and everything turns white._

_He needs..._

_He needs..._

_Knot._

_He needs a knot!_

_Where is it!_

_Oh..._

 

A hand softly shakes his shoulder, and he blinks his eyes open.

Logan is sitting beside him, holding a bottle of water.

"drink some, Quinn..."�

He doesn't want to.

Closing his eyes again, he tries to drift off to that wonderful place ones more.

But the omega doesn't let him.

Shaking him again, manhandling him so he is sitting up with pillows behind his back.

"come on, Quinn.

You have to drink some and eat a little bit.

Then I'm going to clean you up a bit, and then show you the toys I have brought!"�

Toys?

Blinking again, he opens his mouth to ask why he would want toys, but no words gets out.

It's only when he swallows, that he understands that Logan had put the bottle to his lips.

The water is amazing.

Gulping down greedily, he drinks the whole bottle.

"that's it Quinn.

Good boy...

You need water, can you feel how much better you feel already?"�

He feels a little better, but the toys are what he wants to know about.

There is no way he can play with the children now, and he know Logan understand that.

Or?

But when he opens his mouth again, Logan puts something sweet in it.

Chewing, he can feel his body growing warm again, and after a few bits he shakes his head.

"okay.

I will leave the rest of the food here, next to your bed, together with a couple of bottles of water.

Try to drink a much as you can?"�

Logan's voice is firm, but he still has a smile on his face. 

Taking a deep breath, he tries to clear his head and ask.

"toys??"�

Logan laughs.

"yes, Quinn, toys.

But, not the kind of toys that the children play with, this is special toy for omegas in heat.

Or, omegas in general I guess..."�

A big grin spreads over Logan's face, and he holds up what looks like a wooden stick.

What?

Taking the stick from the omega, he turns it around and tries to understand.

The wood is soft and smooth, so wide his fingers doesn't quite reach around it.

It's round at one end and have a lump at the other one.

And below the lump, there is a smaller piece formed almost like a door handle.

Handle...

Waite...

His mouth falls open, and he can feel his ears turn red.

Looking at Logan, he can see the omega nodding.

"yes Quinn, that kind of toy..."�

A loud whine surprises him, and it's only when Logan laughs that he understands that it was him making that noise.

The sweet omega is saying something, but the heat is burning furiously, and all he can think about is getting this toy inside him.

His body sings, the orgasm taking him by surprise.

O my...

He forgets about everything else, pushes the sheets away desperately tries to get it in place.

After some fumbling and mumbling and whining, he almost gives up.

Jumping when a hand stills him, he growls at the omega still in his hut.

"let me help, Quinn.

There you go...

I will come back in a couple of hours, just to make sure you drink something."�

If Logan says something else, he doesn't know.

All he knows, is the wonderful fullness.

All he cares about, is moving and twisting and...

_Hands bruising his hips, teeth biting his neck, growling sending tingling down his spine and to his groin._

_An alpha laying under him, arms behind his head and a lazy smile on his face._

_Moving up and down, up and down._

_Burning thighs, sweaty skin._

_Ones again, he is face down in a mattress, hips held high in two firm hands._

_"_ _o yeah honey... you feel so good... so tight and warm for me._

_You're driving me crazy... fuuuck!"�_

_Strong arms surround him, a hard body plastered to his back._

_Full._

_He feels so full._

_Full of a big knot, filling him up and... and..._

_Still moving?_

_Slowly grinding, making him crazy._

_He can feel his stomach tighten, his body shaking and then..._

_Everything goes white._

 

Cool hands touch his forehead, a soft voice whispering in his ear.

"wake up, Quinn..."�

Water fills his mouth, making him swallow.

Heaven...

Something warm and soft brushes his sore body, leaving him feeling somewhat refreshed.

More water, and then he falls back to sleep.

_His back is rubbing against something rough; he can feel it stinging and scratching._

_Strong hands under his but, holding him up, while he is filled with that wonderful member again and again._

_Teeth bits lightly at his neck, then a tongue licks soothing over it._

_He feels more than hear a deep rumbling sound vibrating through the body plastered to him, making him shiver._

_Lips kissing him up his neck and biting his ear._

" _cum."�_

 

As times goes by, the constant intense need calms down a bit, letting his exhausted body rest.

 

_He's lying on soft grass, hands over his head._

_His fingers intertwined with stronger ones, holding him firmly._

_Not restricting, just holding._

_Deep blue eyes look at him, looks trough him, deep into his soul._

_Soft lips hoover over his, red and swollen._

Boosts of hot all-consuming need, soft cool hands and whispering voices, and restless sleep fills an unknown amount of time.

 

_Strong arms surround him, a hard body plastered to his back._

_Deep and slow breaths tickles in his neck, matching his own calm breathing._

_He feels satisfied._

_No desperate need, no aching body, just peace._

_Calm._

_Relaxed._

_This is perfect._

_He can stay like this forever._

_With a small smile, he closes his eyes again, soaking in his mates presence._

 

Jolting awake, he stares at the sealing without seeing anything.

There is no mate to soak in the presence of.

It was just a dream.

He closes his eyes hard, refusing to let the tears fall.

Taking some deep calming breaths, he opens his eyes again, looking around.  

He takes in the bright light shining trough the window high on the wall, the simple room with a bed, a huge nightstand, a comfortable looking chair and a fridge.

A fridge?

For the water and food and other stuff necessary to survive a heat, he guesses.

Suddenly he feels how thirsty he is, his mouth as dry as a desert.

Taking stock of himself, he wonders if he can manage to walk over to the fridge by himself.

Sitting up, his whole body screams at him.

The muscles sore and strained and generally useless.

Flopping back down, he decides that he isn't really that thirsty after all.

A light knock on the door startles him, and before he can say anything Logan is entering.

"hey! Look at you!

Awake and alive..."�

The omega gives him a bright smile, his voice light and happy.

But even as exhausted he is, he can still see how worried Logan looks.

"I'm so glad to se you are back, that heat really to a lot out of us both!"

He can feel himself blush, remembering the omega making him drink and eat, washing him and even helping him with the toy!

Whining, he tries to hide under the pillow, only to find out the sheets is stuck to his skin.

And the smell...

Wrinkling his nose, he takes in the state of the bed.

Horror replaces the embarrassment, stains and stickiness and is that blood?

And how did he manage to tear the sheets like that?

There is no way he can ever look Logan in the eyes after this.

Laughter fills the room.

"don't look like that Quinn...

This is not the first time I have helped an omega in heat, and probably not the last time.

Although, a heat as hard as this..."�

Logan sits down in the chair by the bed with a sigh.

"you never do anything the easy way, do you Quinn...

Ore, life is never easy on you, I guess is more correct."�

He has to look at the omega then, wondering what he is talking about.

"you have been in here for almost ten days, Quinn...

That is an awful long heat.

For a couple of days, your fever was dangerously high, and I was afraid we would lose you.

Thankfully, your temperature lowered itself some, and you have spent the last three days sleeping.

Ore, more or less sleeping I guess."�

The omega gives him a sly smile, hinting at the patches on the sheets that wasn't quite dry yet.

His stomach makes a complaining noise, and they both starts to laugh.

"let's get some food in you, and then we move you to the infirmary.

I bet a long hot shower sounds wonderful right now?"

So, after some energy bars and even more water, he tries to get out of bed.

His legs buckle under him, and he falls back down.

Logan bursts out laughing, before sticking his head out the door and asking for some help.

The manage to get him to the infirmary, and even in the shower, before he is put in the same bed he spent so long in at the beginning of his stay with the pack.

"we need to talk about the why and how surrounding this heat, and I talked to Alpha about the dream you told me about right before your heat started so there is an important conversation about that to...

But right now, just close your eyes and get some more sleep."�

He does exactly that, and the last thought in his head is that there is no white or yellow pillow there to comfort him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some troubles making this chapter the way I wanted it.  
> making it both steamy and dreamy!

**Author's Note:**

> New chapters will probably not be coming regularly, but I will do my best to not let it go more than a month between them.  
> The first few chapters will come rapidly, just to introduce you to my world.  
> I hope you will like it!


End file.
